Call me Tim
@slimjimtx.bsky.social
I’m kind to humans and animals and I am a raging knucklehead. I occasionally joke around. I changed my avatar to the very distinguished Panda Man.
I have disabled all DMs. Just interact with me publicly.
I have disabled all DMs. Just interact with me publicly.
Pinned
Call me Tim
@slimjimtx.bsky.social
· Nov 11
Six to Eight Black Men David Sedaris : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive
Six to Eight Black Men by David Sedaris
archive.org
Christmas is coming. Here is a fun story for you. I hope you’ll enjoy it. archive.org/details/SixT...
I bought a couple gifts for my wife for Valentine’s Day and our anniversary a few days later. They probably will arrive a tiny bit late, but since I can’t keep gifts secret, I told her what I bought and she said, “You’re kicking my ass with gift giving! I don’t have shit for you!” I win February. 😀
February 12, 2026 at 9:44 PM
I bought a couple gifts for my wife for Valentine’s Day and our anniversary a few days later. They probably will arrive a tiny bit late, but since I can’t keep gifts secret, I told her what I bought and she said, “You’re kicking my ass with gift giving! I don’t have shit for you!” I win February. 😀
Have you ever? Had a conversation? With a person? Who talks like every phrase is a question? Isn’t that annoying?
February 12, 2026 at 9:28 PM
Have you ever? Had a conversation? With a person? Who talks like every phrase is a question? Isn’t that annoying?
Tell me that Arthur C. Clark and Stanley Kubrick didn’t warn us about AI in the ‘60s. HAL killed four people. We need more Daves in this world.
youtu.be/UwCFY6pmaYY?...
youtu.be/UwCFY6pmaYY?...
2001: A Space Odyssey 4K HDR | The Shutdown Of Hal
YouTube video by Apex Clips
youtu.be
February 11, 2026 at 5:08 AM
Tell me that Arthur C. Clark and Stanley Kubrick didn’t warn us about AI in the ‘60s. HAL killed four people. We need more Daves in this world.
youtu.be/UwCFY6pmaYY?...
youtu.be/UwCFY6pmaYY?...
This thought just popped into my head. Bear with me. Opening weekend, about 600k people saw “Melania.” Let’s be generous and bump it up to 1m by now. Now, the Super Bowl last year had ~127m viewers, so about 100x as many people will see Bad Bunny in one day. Check my math if you like. 😛
February 8, 2026 at 5:38 PM
This thought just popped into my head. Bear with me. Opening weekend, about 600k people saw “Melania.” Let’s be generous and bump it up to 1m by now. Now, the Super Bowl last year had ~127m viewers, so about 100x as many people will see Bad Bunny in one day. Check my math if you like. 😛
Watching the Opening Ceremony at the Olympics makes me wonder if someone slipped me some LSD.
February 6, 2026 at 7:55 PM
Watching the Opening Ceremony at the Olympics makes me wonder if someone slipped me some LSD.
Grilled cheese and tomato soup: thumbs up or down?
February 6, 2026 at 2:26 PM
Grilled cheese and tomato soup: thumbs up or down?
I rarely gamble, but I’ll bet that Canada will win gold in Curling. 🥌 🇨🇦
February 5, 2026 at 1:03 AM
I rarely gamble, but I’ll bet that Canada will win gold in Curling. 🥌 🇨🇦
Tell me which groundhog I’m supposed to believe. I see conflicting predictions from Pennsylvania and Georgia. Do I need to consult a local groundhog? Is it possible that a large rodent doesn’t know shit about meteorology? It’s a very confusing day today.
February 2, 2026 at 1:30 PM
Tell me which groundhog I’m supposed to believe. I see conflicting predictions from Pennsylvania and Georgia. Do I need to consult a local groundhog? Is it possible that a large rodent doesn’t know shit about meteorology? It’s a very confusing day today.
Ok, weather, the snow and ice was cute for a little bit, but enough is enough. Up north, they’re equipped for this bullshit. We are not. I hereby invite you to fuck all the way off right now. Leave some winds out of the south and some sunshine behind you. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!
January 31, 2026 at 2:04 PM
Ok, weather, the snow and ice was cute for a little bit, but enough is enough. Up north, they’re equipped for this bullshit. We are not. I hereby invite you to fuck all the way off right now. Leave some winds out of the south and some sunshine behind you. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!
Obviously, everyone here went to see the Malaria movie. How do we rate it? It is one thumb up the butt or one in the pink and the other in the stink? Maybe two in the butt? Feel free to use your own rating system.
January 31, 2026 at 12:40 AM
Obviously, everyone here went to see the Malaria movie. How do we rate it? It is one thumb up the butt or one in the pink and the other in the stink? Maybe two in the butt? Feel free to use your own rating system.
I just saw that Catherine O’Hara died. That’s just awful. I really enjoyed her work. She was such a talent. I hope her loved ones are holding it together. RIP.
January 30, 2026 at 8:20 PM
I just saw that Catherine O’Hara died. That’s just awful. I really enjoyed her work. She was such a talent. I hope her loved ones are holding it together. RIP.
We just finished watching “One Battle After Another” and if you have a spare three hours, give it a watch. It’s pretty good.
January 25, 2026 at 10:23 PM
We just finished watching “One Battle After Another” and if you have a spare three hours, give it a watch. It’s pretty good.
When is enough enough? Murder, kidnapping, deportations to foreign countries. Is this how these people get their jollies? So, you, mister masked mouth breather can just murder or disappear anyone you want? No consequences? How very authoritarian of you, you fucking pile of steaming shit.
January 25, 2026 at 2:47 PM
When is enough enough? Murder, kidnapping, deportations to foreign countries. Is this how these people get their jollies? So, you, mister masked mouth breather can just murder or disappear anyone you want? No consequences? How very authoritarian of you, you fucking pile of steaming shit.
I am not looking forward to this weather. They’re comparing this to the winter of 2021. That year we had a pipe burst and it flooded the house and we lost electricity for weeks. I’m not looking forward to this.
January 23, 2026 at 7:39 AM
I am not looking forward to this weather. They’re comparing this to the winter of 2021. That year we had a pipe burst and it flooded the house and we lost electricity for weeks. I’m not looking forward to this.
La vie n’est rien que l’ennui. Fous-moi la paix.
January 22, 2026 at 2:27 PM
La vie n’est rien que l’ennui. Fous-moi la paix.
I urge all members of Congress, members of NATO, everyone in positions of power to read “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.” It’s a children’s book about appeasement. It should be easy enough for most of them to understand. If that one is too simple, check out Neville Chamberlain. What happened there?
January 22, 2026 at 10:11 AM
I urge all members of Congress, members of NATO, everyone in positions of power to read “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.” It’s a children’s book about appeasement. It should be easy enough for most of them to understand. If that one is too simple, check out Neville Chamberlain. What happened there?
My son is visiting this weekend and we are both up late. He just went to bed, but he and I had AI write songs and some of them weren’t too bad. I asked him to make a country song about a cowboy who was sad about never being close to a salon for a mani/pedi, but the horses get shod on the range.
January 17, 2026 at 8:46 AM
My son is visiting this weekend and we are both up late. He just went to bed, but he and I had AI write songs and some of them weren’t too bad. I asked him to make a country song about a cowboy who was sad about never being close to a salon for a mani/pedi, but the horses get shod on the range.
Someone should invent a massage chair that swivels. That would really be something.
January 15, 2026 at 5:52 AM
Someone should invent a massage chair that swivels. That would really be something.
Reposted by Call me Tim
This scene from “Blazing Saddles” is how I imagine ICE recruitment goes. Enjoy.
youtu.be/ryvljjccqL8?...
youtu.be/ryvljjccqL8?...
Blazing Saddles / Auditions for the Gang
YouTube video by Joe Maccini
youtu.be
January 13, 2026 at 9:55 AM
This scene from “Blazing Saddles” is how I imagine ICE recruitment goes. Enjoy.
youtu.be/ryvljjccqL8?...
youtu.be/ryvljjccqL8?...
This scene from “Blazing Saddles” is how I imagine ICE recruitment goes. Enjoy.
youtu.be/ryvljjccqL8?...
youtu.be/ryvljjccqL8?...
Blazing Saddles / Auditions for the Gang
YouTube video by Joe Maccini
youtu.be
January 13, 2026 at 9:55 AM
This scene from “Blazing Saddles” is how I imagine ICE recruitment goes. Enjoy.
youtu.be/ryvljjccqL8?...
youtu.be/ryvljjccqL8?...
Fun Fake Fact: In France, Pickleball is called “La Balle de Cornichon.” You know, “Gherkin Ball” sounds more like my speed.
January 12, 2026 at 7:57 AM
Fun Fake Fact: In France, Pickleball is called “La Balle de Cornichon.” You know, “Gherkin Ball” sounds more like my speed.
There is an ancient Chinese curse that goes something like this: “May you live in interesting times.” I’m tired of living in interesting times. Bring back the boring times, please.
January 11, 2026 at 12:43 AM
There is an ancient Chinese curse that goes something like this: “May you live in interesting times.” I’m tired of living in interesting times. Bring back the boring times, please.
Today is my birthday. I have Covid. I ask one thing. It is not money or something tangible. I would like to hear a joke, see your pets or anything positive from your life. Maybe a great recipe. I could have been born a day earlier and shared my birthday with Elvis Presley, instead I got Nixon. Thx!
January 9, 2026 at 8:14 AM
Today is my birthday. I have Covid. I ask one thing. It is not money or something tangible. I would like to hear a joke, see your pets or anything positive from your life. Maybe a great recipe. I could have been born a day earlier and shared my birthday with Elvis Presley, instead I got Nixon. Thx!
Hey, look! I have covid! Fun! Fortunately, I got my hands on Paxlovid which seems to be effective so far. I feel quite a bit less shitty.
January 7, 2026 at 3:13 AM
Hey, look! I have covid! Fun! Fortunately, I got my hands on Paxlovid which seems to be effective so far. I feel quite a bit less shitty.