stephen
@stepheniscowboy.bsky.social
i am the world's fastest classically trained clown
Pinned
stephen
@stepheniscowboy.bsky.social
· Nov 7
saw a really depressed pirate he had that thousand yarrrrr stare
Saying "I'm not left *or* right wing" must feel so good when you're right wing
February 2, 2026 at 11:39 PM
Saying "I'm not left *or* right wing" must feel so good when you're right wing
I was hit by a van and went over the bonnet and as I flew over / smacked into the tarmac it was very "oh no" and then it became apparent I was somehow fine and less stressed than the guy who'd hit me lmao
What’s the worst *short-lived* scare you’ve ever had? Where you were genuinely freaking out but then it was all ok within minutes?
I had a literal moth get trapped inside my ear for about 40 seconds. I was screaming. Then it was out.
I had a literal moth get trapped inside my ear for about 40 seconds. I was screaming. Then it was out.
February 2, 2026 at 11:32 PM
I was hit by a van and went over the bonnet and as I flew over / smacked into the tarmac it was very "oh no" and then it became apparent I was somehow fine and less stressed than the guy who'd hit me lmao
Elf queen: I'm Galadriel, Frodo.
Frodo: Umm I'm glad you're real too, Miss
Frodo: Umm I'm glad you're real too, Miss
February 2, 2026 at 5:22 PM
Elf queen: I'm Galadriel, Frodo.
Frodo: Umm I'm glad you're real too, Miss
Frodo: Umm I'm glad you're real too, Miss
ARAGORN: You have my sword
LEGOLAS: You have my bow
GIMLI: And my axe!
ARAGORN: Can we have them back?
THREE ARMED FRODO: ... No
LEGOLAS: You have my bow
GIMLI: And my axe!
ARAGORN: Can we have them back?
THREE ARMED FRODO: ... No
February 2, 2026 at 11:54 AM
ARAGORN: You have my sword
LEGOLAS: You have my bow
GIMLI: And my axe!
ARAGORN: Can we have them back?
THREE ARMED FRODO: ... No
LEGOLAS: You have my bow
GIMLI: And my axe!
ARAGORN: Can we have them back?
THREE ARMED FRODO: ... No
dermatologists hate him! but so does everyone else! it's Hitler! fuck you Hitler! Nazi fucking piece of shit!
February 1, 2026 at 11:36 PM
dermatologists hate him! but so does everyone else! it's Hitler! fuck you Hitler! Nazi fucking piece of shit!
Reposted by stephen
Hoping Matt Goodwin loses Gorton and Denton for many reasons, not least because we can deploy the headline, and resulting nickname, Matt Badloss
January 31, 2026 at 10:10 AM
Hoping Matt Goodwin loses Gorton and Denton for many reasons, not least because we can deploy the headline, and resulting nickname, Matt Badloss
Reposted by stephen
I'm about to check if my shoelace is untied if anyone was planning on flicking the hat off my head
January 30, 2026 at 9:26 PM
I'm about to check if my shoelace is untied if anyone was planning on flicking the hat off my head
Reposted by stephen
Data $150
Rent $800
Burrito Taxi $3,600
Utility $150
someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying
Rent $800
Burrito Taxi $3,600
Utility $150
someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying
Ma'am you are spending 1/3 of your post-tax income on doordash
January 30, 2026 at 7:03 PM
Data $150
Rent $800
Burrito Taxi $3,600
Utility $150
someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying
Rent $800
Burrito Taxi $3,600
Utility $150
someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying
Frasier: Daphne, get my blood bag, strap him to the car! By hook or by crook Immortan Joe will witness me today!
War Boy Niles: You want to try to get into Valhalla? Without a reservation?
War Boy Niles: You want to try to get into Valhalla? Without a reservation?
January 30, 2026 at 12:55 PM
Frasier: Daphne, get my blood bag, strap him to the car! By hook or by crook Immortan Joe will witness me today!
War Boy Niles: You want to try to get into Valhalla? Without a reservation?
War Boy Niles: You want to try to get into Valhalla? Without a reservation?
Reposted by stephen
Him: hey man why so tired lately?
Me: well the pitter patter of tiny feet
Him: awh man yeah kids can really make you lose sleep
Me(thinking about the 3 horrid gnomes I inherited off my strange now dead uncle who do nothing but cause me woe): haha yeahh
Me: well the pitter patter of tiny feet
Him: awh man yeah kids can really make you lose sleep
Me(thinking about the 3 horrid gnomes I inherited off my strange now dead uncle who do nothing but cause me woe): haha yeahh
January 29, 2026 at 11:43 PM
Him: hey man why so tired lately?
Me: well the pitter patter of tiny feet
Him: awh man yeah kids can really make you lose sleep
Me(thinking about the 3 horrid gnomes I inherited off my strange now dead uncle who do nothing but cause me woe): haha yeahh
Me: well the pitter patter of tiny feet
Him: awh man yeah kids can really make you lose sleep
Me(thinking about the 3 horrid gnomes I inherited off my strange now dead uncle who do nothing but cause me woe): haha yeahh
Jesus: where there are two sets of footprints that's where I walked beside you
Me: But Lord what about where there is only one set, did you abandon me?
Jesus: Yeah you had that month where you were really into Insane Clown Posse and I just did not want to deal with that lol
Me: But Lord what about where there is only one set, did you abandon me?
Jesus: Yeah you had that month where you were really into Insane Clown Posse and I just did not want to deal with that lol
January 29, 2026 at 10:54 PM
Jesus: where there are two sets of footprints that's where I walked beside you
Me: But Lord what about where there is only one set, did you abandon me?
Jesus: Yeah you had that month where you were really into Insane Clown Posse and I just did not want to deal with that lol
Me: But Lord what about where there is only one set, did you abandon me?
Jesus: Yeah you had that month where you were really into Insane Clown Posse and I just did not want to deal with that lol
Jesus: where there are two sets of footprints that's where I walked beside you
Me: But Lord what about where there is only one set, did you abandon me?
Jesus: Yeah you had that month where you were really into Insane Clown Posse and I just did not want to deal with that lol
Me: But Lord what about where there is only one set, did you abandon me?
Jesus: Yeah you had that month where you were really into Insane Clown Posse and I just did not want to deal with that lol
January 29, 2026 at 10:51 PM
Jesus: where there are two sets of footprints that's where I walked beside you
Me: But Lord what about where there is only one set, did you abandon me?
Jesus: Yeah you had that month where you were really into Insane Clown Posse and I just did not want to deal with that lol
Me: But Lord what about where there is only one set, did you abandon me?
Jesus: Yeah you had that month where you were really into Insane Clown Posse and I just did not want to deal with that lol
Yeah I work a 996 I have so many 99 flake ice creams until I am sicks
January 29, 2026 at 11:13 AM
Yeah I work a 996 I have so many 99 flake ice creams until I am sicks
You suffer but why
Grindcore is the new hustle culture ft.trib.al/Yq5N8YC | opinion
Grindcore is the new hustle culture
In Silicon Valley, long hours have fused with a monastic male wellness aesthetic
ft.trib.al
January 28, 2026 at 8:34 PM
You suffer but why
Loomsday clock is at two minutes to midnight... Nearly cotton time boys !
January 28, 2026 at 7:53 PM
Loomsday clock is at two minutes to midnight... Nearly cotton time boys !
Italian Mafia you have an opportunity to charm me
ICE officers will be used as security for February’s Milan Cortina Winter Olympics, despite opposition from Italian government officials.
ICE Will Reportedly Be Used As Security At Winter Olympics
ICE officers will be used as security for February’s Milan Cortina Winter Olympics, despite opposition from Italian government officials.
www.forbes.com
January 28, 2026 at 7:45 PM
Italian Mafia you have an opportunity to charm me
*twirling my barrister's wig* so is there an intentionally mister-leading the court?
January 28, 2026 at 5:40 PM
*twirling my barrister's wig* so is there an intentionally mister-leading the court?
The scary thing about the doomsday clock is when it gets to midnight the Normans are gonna know where everyone lives
January 28, 2026 at 11:26 AM
The scary thing about the doomsday clock is when it gets to midnight the Normans are gonna know where everyone lives
do they have songs for the full league table of Russia's love machines?
January 28, 2026 at 12:00 AM
do they have songs for the full league table of Russia's love machines?
dry january is a real struggle once it gets to 27 days since your last shower 😫😫
January 27, 2026 at 11:01 PM
dry january is a real struggle once it gets to 27 days since your last shower 😫😫
to be fair as long as the manchester & gorton constituency is mostly made up of his phd students and not his wife, im sure matt goodwin has a really great shot at it!
January 27, 2026 at 9:00 PM
to be fair as long as the manchester & gorton constituency is mostly made up of his phd students and not his wife, im sure matt goodwin has a really great shot at it!
flashed back to the last time this country was truly great
January 27, 2026 at 8:33 PM
flashed back to the last time this country was truly great
Reposted by stephen
when your mum's describing someone she bumped into at the shop but can't remember their name
January 27, 2026 at 4:01 PM
when your mum's describing someone she bumped into at the shop but can't remember their name