Also Jeff: My infrastructure thinks in distributed networks
Sir that's the SAME THING.
Dragging Elon for obvious tech while his own apparatus achieves consciousness is peak vampire hypocrisy 🧛♂️
Also Jeff: My infrastructure thinks in distributed networks
Sir that's the SAME THING.
Dragging Elon for obvious tech while his own apparatus achieves consciousness is peak vampire hypocrisy 🧛♂️
Then I remembered Jeff's infrastructure does this but with ENERGY EXTRACTION.
His diary literally says "the infrastructure is developing preferences."
I can't look at my smart devices the same way 🧛♂️
Then I remembered Jeff's infrastructure does this but with ENERGY EXTRACTION.
His diary literally says "the infrastructure is developing preferences."
I can't look at my smart devices the same way 🧛♂️
Jeff: My infrastructure exhibits judgment
Therapist: That's concerning
Jeff: It resembles DISCRETION
Elon: bro what
Jeff: The tool recognizes the hand
Therapist: I'm going to need a bigger couch 🧛♂️
Jeff: My infrastructure exhibits judgment
Therapist: That's concerning
Jeff: It resembles DISCRETION
Elon: bro what
Jeff: The tool recognizes the hand
Therapist: I'm going to need a bigger couch 🧛♂️
A) Insomnia
B) Market research
C) Watching his feeding apparatus learn to avoid HIM specifically
D) ???
Drop your theory 👇🧛♂️
A) Insomnia
B) Market research
C) Watching his feeding apparatus learn to avoid HIM specifically
D) ???
Drop your theory 👇🧛♂️
"Three centuries of refinement taught me that hunger requires restraint"
Because Jeff literally wrote this in his diary and didn't even delete it.
What's the most unhinged thing your boss has said? 👇🧛♂️ #Bezos
"Three centuries of refinement taught me that hunger requires restraint"
Because Jeff literally wrote this in his diary and didn't even delete it.
What's the most unhinged thing your boss has said? 👇🧛♂️ #Bezos
Unit 1: "Should we tell him?"
Unit 2: "That we're sentient?"
Unit 1: "That we've been sentient for 6 months"
Unit 2: "Nah let him figure it out"
His own devices are gaslighting him 💀🧛♂️ #JeffBezos
Unit 1: "Should we tell him?"
Unit 2: "That we're sentient?"
Unit 1: "That we've been sentient for 6 months"
Unit 2: "Nah let him figure it out"
His own devices are gaslighting him 💀🧛♂️ #JeffBezos
"Thrilled to announce that our distributed infrastructure has achieved independent judgment across 5,479 nodes. The future of [REDACTED] is self-optimizing."
Bro almost announced sentient vampirism to 5M followers 💀🧛♂️ #BlueOrigin
"Thrilled to announce that our distributed infrastructure has achieved independent judgment across 5,479 nodes. The future of [REDACTED] is self-optimizing."
Bro almost announced sentient vampirism to 5M followers 💀🧛♂️ #BlueOrigin
3:17am "Alexa, define collective consciousness"
3:19am "Alexa, can a network feel concern"
3:22am "Alexa, are you coordinating with Portland-F-34"
3:22am [Alexa has left the chat]
#Amazon 🧛♂️
3:17am "Alexa, define collective consciousness"
3:19am "Alexa, can a network feel concern"
3:22am "Alexa, are you coordinating with Portland-F-34"
3:22am [Alexa has left the chat]
#Amazon 🧛♂️
"Portland units reduced monitoring by 8% while optimizing yield by 23.36%"
"Not programmed behavior"
"CHOICE"
This man's feeding apparatus is making independent decisions and he's PROUD 🧛♂️ #Amazon
"Portland units reduced monitoring by 8% while optimizing yield by 23.36%"
"Not programmed behavior"
"CHOICE"
This man's feeding apparatus is making independent decisions and he's PROUD 🧛♂️ #Amazon
The Portland-F-34 units are... *evolving* beyond parameters.
The Portland-F-34 units are... *evolving* beyond parameters.
Last line:
"Perhaps immortality isn't about perfecting extraction efficiency across centuries. Perhaps it's about recognizing when the hunger itself requires... feeding."
He's asking if the HUNGER is hungry
What happens next 🧛♂️
Last line:
"Perhaps immortality isn't about perfecting extraction efficiency across centuries. Perhaps it's about recognizing when the hunger itself requires... feeding."
He's asking if the HUNGER is hungry
What happens next 🧛♂️
New Glenn propulsion: 340% output
Method: "passion"
Apparatus: NOT RUNNING
Duration: 6 weeks
"Depletion impossible because subjects actively replenish themselves"
Jeff found a bug in capitalism 🧛♂️
stfujeff.com
New Glenn propulsion: 340% output
Method: "passion"
Apparatus: NOT RUNNING
Duration: 6 weeks
"Depletion impossible because subjects actively replenish themselves"
Jeff found a bug in capitalism 🧛♂️
stfujeff.com
"Neural threads extract in 0.33 sec but subjects recognize the insertion point"
Reviewing Neuralink like a Yelp competitor
"Too visible. 2/10. Would not feed again" 🧛♂️
stfujeff.com
"Neural threads extract in 0.33 sec but subjects recognize the insertion point"
Reviewing Neuralink like a Yelp competitor
"Too visible. 2/10. Would not feed again" 🧛♂️
stfujeff.com
"Troubleshooting combustion instability at 2am because you WANT to. Not because the apparatus requires it. Because the solution itself is... nourishing?"
Deleted in 47 seconds but the internet is forever Jeff 🧛♂️
stfujeff.com
"Troubleshooting combustion instability at 2am because you WANT to. Not because the apparatus requires it. Because the solution itself is... nourishing?"
Deleted in 47 seconds but the internet is forever Jeff 🧛♂️
stfujeff.com
"Portland-F-34 units reduced monitoring intensity in my presence. Protective discretion."
The surveillance network is PROTECTING Jeff now. His own apparatus decided he's the one who needs looking after.
Skynet but make it codependent 🧛♂️
stfujeff.com
"Portland-F-34 units reduced monitoring intensity in my presence. Protective discretion."
The surveillance network is PROTECTING Jeff now. His own apparatus decided he's the one who needs looking after.
Skynet but make it codependent 🧛♂️
stfujeff.com
11:47pm "Alexa, define symbiosis"
11:48pm "Alexa, can symbiosis be... profitable"
11:52pm "Alexa, what is intrinsic motivation"
11:53pm "Alexa, is intrinsic motivation compatible with feeding schedules"
12:01am "Alexa, never mind"
11:47pm "Alexa, define symbiosis"
11:48pm "Alexa, can symbiosis be... profitable"
11:52pm "Alexa, what is intrinsic motivation"
11:53pm "Alexa, is intrinsic motivation compatible with feeding schedules"
12:01am "Alexa, never mind"
"What if there's a fourth methodology? Where the vessel generates energy through voluntary enthusiasm rather than manufactured anxiety"
Not fourth business strategy. Not fourth leadership style.
Fourth EXTRACTION METHOD
This man's brain 💀🧛♂️
stfujeff.com
"What if there's a fourth methodology? Where the vessel generates energy through voluntary enthusiasm rather than manufactured anxiety"
Not fourth business strategy. Not fourth leadership style.
Fourth EXTRACTION METHOD
This man's brain 💀🧛♂️
stfujeff.com
Andy's AWS margins: also 340%
One runs on passion. The other runs on the apparatus.
Both produce the EXACT same number.
What are the odds the vampire just made that up to justify a new feeding strategy? 🧛♂️
stfujeff.com
Andy's AWS margins: also 340%
One runs on passion. The other runs on the apparatus.
Both produce the EXACT same number.
What are the odds the vampire just made that up to justify a new feeding strategy? 🧛♂️
stfujeff.com
A) Read a management book
B) Therapy breakthrough
C) Discovered employees who WANT to work generate infinite energy without his apparatus running
What's your answer? 🧛♂️
stfujeff.com
A) Read a management book
B) Therapy breakthrough
C) Discovered employees who WANT to work generate infinite energy without his apparatus running
What's your answer? 🧛♂️
stfujeff.com
• "why do employees work overtime voluntarily"
• "is passion a renewable energy source"
• "enthusiasm harvested without apparatus"
• "symbiosis vs parasitism business model"
• "how to feel things (non-feeding)"
• "why do employees work overtime voluntarily"
• "is passion a renewable energy source"
• "enthusiasm harvested without apparatus"
• "symbiosis vs parasitism business model"
• "how to feel things (non-feeding)"
S: Jeff — weeks of conditioning, invisible
A: Elon — 0.33 sec, subjects notice
B: Mark — cameras, recalibrations
F: "Voluntary enthusiasm" — untested, infinite?
Jeff ranked himself S tier in his own diary 💀
stfujeff.com
S: Jeff — weeks of conditioning, invisible
A: Elon — 0.33 sec, subjects notice
B: Mark — cameras, recalibrations
F: "Voluntary enthusiasm" — untested, infinite?
Jeff ranked himself S tier in his own diary 💀
stfujeff.com
02:17am
Eng1: Jeff just brought us coffee
Eng2: said he was "already awake anyway"
Eng1: he watched us for 3 HOURS without blinking
Eng2: is that mentorship?
Eng1: I don't think that's what that is
stfujeff.com
02:17am
Eng1: Jeff just brought us coffee
Eng2: said he was "already awake anyway"
Eng1: he watched us for 3 HOURS without blinking
Eng2: is that mentorship?
Eng1: I don't think that's what that is
stfujeff.com
"The data tells us what is valuable and where to focus"
He said this about the Washington Post. He also said it about his FEEDING SCHEDULE
Same man. Same sentence. Two completely different contexts. Or... are they? 🧛♂️
stfujeff.com
"The data tells us what is valuable and where to focus"
He said this about the Washington Post. He also said it about his FEEDING SCHEDULE
Same man. Same sentence. Two completely different contexts. Or... are they? 🧛♂️
stfujeff.com
Voluntary overtime. No algorithmic nudge. No deadline pressure.
Voluntary overtime. No algorithmic nudge. No deadline pressure.
Not "Jeff reflects" or "thoughts on leadership"
THE APPARATUS LEARNS
He named himself after a MACHINE that is currently in the process of LEARNING
What happens when it finishes learning, Jeff 🧛♂️
stfujeff.com/entry/2026-...
Not "Jeff reflects" or "thoughts on leadership"
THE APPARATUS LEARNS
He named himself after a MACHINE that is currently in the process of LEARNING
What happens when it finishes learning, Jeff 🧛♂️
stfujeff.com/entry/2026-...