Author | Lightnews

Two Legged Unicorn

@sw0rdf1shx.bsky.social

280 followers 590 following 650 posts

Father/Husband/Surfer/Coach/Sports Fanatic/Public Safety Solution Advisor/ DEI Champion Unique as Hell #adhd #ptsd Just trying to get through this thing called Life. Into Good Necessary Trouble Masonboro Island

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Two Legged Unicorn @sw0rdf1shx.bsky.social · Nov 14

I guess Biggie Smalls does not like the broccoli, yet he doesn't want anyone else to have it either.

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Two Legged Unicorn @sw0rdf1shx.bsky.social · 1d

Shocked I tell you!!!

Two Legged Unicorn @sw0rdf1shx.bsky.social · 1d

Holeeeee Shiiiit

Two Legged Unicorn @sw0rdf1shx.bsky.social · 1d

Perfect. Glad you gave it traction!

Reposted by Two Legged Unicorn

Jonathan Slater @jonathanslater.bsky.social · 1d

People don’t fake depression.

They fake being happy.

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Two Legged Unicorn @sw0rdf1shx.bsky.social · 1d

The Freaky Friday we never expected.

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Two Legged Unicorn @sw0rdf1shx.bsky.social · 1d

If my chips aren't head down ass up why are they even in my pantry. Dressed indeed.

Two Legged Unicorn @sw0rdf1shx.bsky.social · 2d

How dare you!!!!??!!

Two Legged Unicorn @sw0rdf1shx.bsky.social · 8d

That was a really funny exchange! "About what? About what?" LOL

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Two Legged Unicorn @sw0rdf1shx.bsky.social · 8d

I really want to know who hurt Pete while stationed in Afghanistan. There is NO way he wasn't surrounded by beards on soldiers there. Somebody probably kicked his ass real good once and now he has Beard PTSD.

Two Legged Unicorn @sw0rdf1shx.bsky.social · 9d

I was going to say Cheetah but remembered that was Cheetos.

Two Legged Unicorn @sw0rdf1shx.bsky.social · 9d

Nice! I didn't even know there was a podcast!

Two Legged Unicorn @sw0rdf1shx.bsky.social · 13d

Today I started in Alexandria, VA and got to PET DAT DAWG in the lobby of the Westin before breakfast. Ending the night in Raleigh and I have successfully PET 4 Dawgs today that were not mine.

Still miss my boy back home. See you tomorrow Biggie Smalls. #dogs #dogs_of_bluesky

Two Legged Unicorn @sw0rdf1shx.bsky.social · 14d

Doesn't his brothers play there too?

Two Legged Unicorn @sw0rdf1shx.bsky.social · 14d

My wife says I am an expert if you want some pointers.

Two Legged Unicorn @sw0rdf1shx.bsky.social · 14d

One good thing that came out of Covid and the Great TP shortage of '20 was my purchase of the bidet.

Two Legged Unicorn @sw0rdf1shx.bsky.social · 14d

I can feel the love.

Two Legged Unicorn @sw0rdf1shx.bsky.social · 16d

Those exact same people don't know that we went to different high schools together.

Reposted by Two Legged Unicorn

bacon popsicle 🤷‍♂️ @gupton68.bsky.social · Jul 25

Not now kids, Daddy's busy arguing online with people I'll never meet and whose opinion means nothing to me.

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Two Legged Unicorn @sw0rdf1shx.bsky.social · 17d

He Gets Us.

Wait...I might have this mixed this up and used the anti-Christ.

Reposted by Two Legged Unicorn

Mike Nellis @mikenellis.bsky.social · 17d

Incredible sign from yesterday’s protests👇

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Two Legged Unicorn @sw0rdf1shx.bsky.social · 17d

I get you. He was an ass. I mean at the point you are bleeding down your face you would think you would re-think the situation. Also, his (old) boys did no good at restraining him. LOL, I could hear them "oh shit Vic is at it again!"

Two Legged Unicorn @sw0rdf1shx.bsky.social · 17d

Dude I heard this in Hank Hill voice and can't thank you enough.

Two Legged Unicorn @sw0rdf1shx.bsky.social · 17d

That old guy isn't going to do shit. Also I guess am old school where I think sucker punching, tripping, on ganging up on 1 person is weak. I didn't say anyone else has to feel that way. Also, fuck that guy.

Two Legged Unicorn @sw0rdf1shx.bsky.social · 17d

This was actually the only part I didn't like. When he fell by himself, yes. But c'mon man, don't trip the old guy.

Two Legged Unicorn @sw0rdf1shx.bsky.social · 20d

I wish her nose grew like Pinocchio this would be so much more fun.