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@gupton68.bsky.social
who took the jam out of your donut?
the man, the myth, the bellend
my BS bs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3bnoyda3i7sv7k6p3vzmjtvj/feed/aaadqbbtnlfxy
my top bs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3bnoyda3i7sv7k6p3vzmjtvj/feed/aaahguixerquo
the man, the myth, the bellend
my BS bs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3bnoyda3i7sv7k6p3vzmjtvj/feed/aaadqbbtnlfxy
my top bs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3bnoyda3i7sv7k6p3vzmjtvj/feed/aaahguixerquo
Pinned
bacon popsicle 🔥
@gupton68.bsky.social
· Dec 11
What I like most about BlueSky is how on twitter I always felt like I was an outsider looking in and I do here too, so it really feels just like home.
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Autocorrect changed "demands" to "demons" in my emails, and I must fully agree with it!
November 27, 2025 at 10:28 AM
Autocorrect changed "demands" to "demons" in my emails, and I must fully agree with it!
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You're not fatter. Your clothes shrank.
Yw.
Yw.
November 27, 2025 at 7:59 AM
You're not fatter. Your clothes shrank.
Yw.
Yw.
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wife: why can’t you be more spontaneous?
me: but I bought you flowers for no reason only last week
wife: yes but I was thinking more along the lines of just bursting into flames…
me: but I bought you flowers for no reason only last week
wife: yes but I was thinking more along the lines of just bursting into flames…
November 26, 2025 at 2:08 PM
wife: why can’t you be more spontaneous?
me: but I bought you flowers for no reason only last week
wife: yes but I was thinking more along the lines of just bursting into flames…
me: but I bought you flowers for no reason only last week
wife: yes but I was thinking more along the lines of just bursting into flames…
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decided to never listen to “Free Bird” while sober
November 27, 2025 at 4:39 AM
decided to never listen to “Free Bird” while sober
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Let’s make this house arrest a home arrest
November 26, 2025 at 8:16 AM
Let’s make this house arrest a home arrest
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Practicing my charming and witty retorts by replying to skeets on bluesky dot app
November 27, 2025 at 1:12 AM
Practicing my charming and witty retorts by replying to skeets on bluesky dot app
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Seductively takes a double dose of cranberry pills
November 22, 2025 at 11:23 PM
Seductively takes a double dose of cranberry pills
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Now and Later isn't just a candy, it's also how I like my sex.
November 27, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Now and Later isn't just a candy, it's also how I like my sex.
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Please stop saying spatchcock.
November 27, 2025 at 12:08 AM
Please stop saying spatchcock.
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my cousin: we’re all checked into the hotel and thought we’d come over and hangout for a bit
me: no
me: no
November 27, 2025 at 12:22 AM
my cousin: we’re all checked into the hotel and thought we’d come over and hangout for a bit
me: no
me: no
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I’ve never paid for sex.
*looks at kids’ tuition bills*
Well, not on the front end.
*looks at kids’ tuition bills*
Well, not on the front end.
November 26, 2025 at 9:15 PM
I’ve never paid for sex.
*looks at kids’ tuition bills*
Well, not on the front end.
*looks at kids’ tuition bills*
Well, not on the front end.
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My AI hand turkey has seven tail feathers.
November 26, 2025 at 9:39 PM
My AI hand turkey has seven tail feathers.
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my earrings say gobble gobble and i won’t apologize for it.
November 26, 2025 at 11:24 AM
my earrings say gobble gobble and i won’t apologize for it.
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Stores have been crazy today, I haven't been able to find any apples for the pie that my wife is planning to make. So far my efforts have been fruitless.
November 26, 2025 at 7:43 PM
Stores have been crazy today, I haven't been able to find any apples for the pie that my wife is planning to make. So far my efforts have been fruitless.
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once again we are at that very special time of year where i do not attend any work christmas functions
November 27, 2025 at 2:15 AM
once again we are at that very special time of year where i do not attend any work christmas functions
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my childhood dog was named Turkey because when my mom and dad picked him up as a puppy he puked in the car and my dad called him a jive turkey but Thanksgiving was confusing because I'm sure as shit not gonna eat the dog mom wtf are you talking about
November 27, 2025 at 12:51 AM
my childhood dog was named Turkey because when my mom and dad picked him up as a puppy he puked in the car and my dad called him a jive turkey but Thanksgiving was confusing because I'm sure as shit not gonna eat the dog mom wtf are you talking about
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There are two types of people at Thanksgiving: those who think the "special" brownies are just extra fudgy, and those who are currently trying to listen to the color of the canned cranberry sauce.
November 26, 2025 at 5:16 PM
There are two types of people at Thanksgiving: those who think the "special" brownies are just extra fudgy, and those who are currently trying to listen to the color of the canned cranberry sauce.
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She asked how my DIY project was going. I said "been better" and inadvertently fired my mouthful of nails at her.
November 27, 2025 at 5:56 AM
She asked how my DIY project was going. I said "been better" and inadvertently fired my mouthful of nails at her.
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Possibly just me but I think I shouldn't have to Accept Cookies every single visit
November 27, 2025 at 12:21 AM
Possibly just me but I think I shouldn't have to Accept Cookies every single visit
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My plus one for this year’s Thanksgiving dinner is vodka.
November 27, 2025 at 12:08 AM
My plus one for this year’s Thanksgiving dinner is vodka.
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Telling the cheese you’re eating that it’s your favourite cheese is like picking a favourite child, something you should only ever do when all the other cheeses are out of earshot.
December 23, 2024 at 2:07 PM
Telling the cheese you’re eating that it’s your favourite cheese is like picking a favourite child, something you should only ever do when all the other cheeses are out of earshot.
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Prime ribs are just like regular ribs except they’re only divisible by themselves.
February 5, 2024 at 5:43 PM
Prime ribs are just like regular ribs except they’re only divisible by themselves.
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I'm a Brit, you're Canadian. Please don't thank me for thanking you, I'll only feel compelled to thank you back so you’ll then thank me again and before you know it we'll have been at it all night.
March 14, 2025 at 1:30 PM
I'm a Brit, you're Canadian. Please don't thank me for thanking you, I'll only feel compelled to thank you back so you’ll then thank me again and before you know it we'll have been at it all night.
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Why weren’t cougars a thing when I was a young man?
November 26, 2025 at 3:13 PM
Why weren’t cougars a thing when I was a young man?
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The CIA made me memorize the alphabet with my mind. MKLmnop. But seriously why is there a literal street of sesame on the 1 2 3 dollar bill
November 26, 2025 at 4:53 PM
The CIA made me memorize the alphabet with my mind. MKLmnop. But seriously why is there a literal street of sesame on the 1 2 3 dollar bill