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gupton68.bsky.social
bloody bacon popsicle 💤
@gupton68.bsky.social
16K followers 1.4K following 2K posts
flicking through a little book of sex tips the man, the myth, the bellend my BS bs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3bnoyda3i7sv7k6p3vzmjtvj/feed/aaadqbbtnlfxy my top bs: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3bnoyda3i7sv7k6p3vzmjtvj/feed/aaahguixerquo
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gupton68.bsky.social
bloody bacon popsicle 💤 @gupton68.bsky.social · Mar 18
How long after a tonsillectomy is it safe to give a blowjob?

~ asking for my wife (tonsils removed, August 2013)
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gupton68.bsky.social
bloody bacon popsicle 💤 @gupton68.bsky.social · 1h
I just managed to fall asleep standing up so don’t tell me men don’t know how to multitask.
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unfitz.bsky.social
𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · Feb 4
Fleetwood Mac’s 𝘎𝘰 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘖𝘸𝘯 𝘞𝘢𝘺 is my favorite song about men who refuse to ask for directions.
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andreyasasylum.bsky.social
Andreya @andreyasasylum.bsky.social · 10h
Once you’re over 40, getting 10,000 steps a day is meaningless. You just get to stay fat.
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cosmicclau.bsky.social
Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 8h
sometimes i think i'm doing ok then i start driving with the handbrake still up
3 20 47
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runoldman.bsky.social
Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 2h
HGTV has taught me you can do anything if you have the right tools. I’ve also learned that any handyman you hire will have those tools.
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steamymac.bsky.social
Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 5h
Brain damage is probably my most endearing quality.
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wakeupangry.bsky.social
Jack @wakeupangry.bsky.social · 2d
IMO CIRCLES ARE MORE FAIR THAN SQUARES
2 19 37
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lalalyds.bsky.social
lalalyds @lalalyds.bsky.social · 2d
Moshing to the aol dial-up sound
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granitedhuine.bsky.social
Granite Man @granitedhuine.bsky.social · 2h
Panic attacks are jazz hands for the soul.
2 14 53
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blobstar.bsky.social
WitchyBlob @blobstar.bsky.social · 20h
Them: But... at least the sun is still shining!

Dracula: No!!! It burns!
[Poof!...ashes]
7 15
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benedictsred.bsky.social
Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · 2d
Officially taken “living the dream” out of my vernacular
12 57 230
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juiceticles.bsky.social
Juiceticles @juiceticles.bsky.social · 2d
I'm not flexible enough for a double entendre
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tashaneedshelp.bsky.social
Canadian Bacon @tashaneedshelp.bsky.social · 2h
Having no coffee where there was suppose to be coffee is the ultimate morning betrayal.
1 11 39
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the-bearminator.bsky.social
The Bearminator @the-bearminator.bsky.social · 2h
Don't touch what you can't afford to infect.
5 9
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honeybadgermel.bsky.social
Melicious @honeybadgermel.bsky.social · 11h
Apathy is so yesterday. Get with the times people.
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gupton68.bsky.social
bloody bacon popsicle 💤 @gupton68.bsky.social · Oct 3
Whatever your age, I think you should try to learn something new every day. Today I learned that 55 year old men shouldn’t run for trains.

Discovering that ambulance beds are surprisingly comfortable was merely a bonus lesson.
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havishaf.bsky.social
S🌟tella @havishaf.bsky.social · 5h
What’s wrong with people who actually reach out after you said “feel free to reach out if you need anything”?
11 34 75
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aikiwomannc.bsky.social
Christina, mother of spiders @aikiwomannc.bsky.social · May 17
My son came in and said, "I'm not saying it's humid out, but I just saw 5 old men in towels sitting on a bench in the cul de sac".
16 46
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jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · Oct 10
This day in history. 1991. At a New Jersey post office Joe Harris shot 2 co-workers after killing his supervisor with a sword insisting to reporters "I went Ninja not postal get it right.”
1 30 60
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notincharge7.bsky.social
tera-cotta @notincharge7.bsky.social · 17h
me as a basketball referee:

[blows whistle]
"Oh, wait, no. My bad."
1 6 13
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gupton68.bsky.social
bloody bacon popsicle 💤 @gupton68.bsky.social · 1d
My wife and I were once very happy. In fact we both probably smiled pretty much every day right up until the day we met.
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2tickytacky.bsky.social
Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 1d
Now, a message from Rev. Thurl H. "Skeet" Ravenscrof:

Oops! Somehow, Sister Julie got mysteriously locked in her bedroom with the door nailed shut.... Vodka Shot Bingo 7p to floor! Let's play pin the tail on the self righteous, domineering ass. God bless.
1 27 47
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postlurker2025.bsky.social
Post-it @postlurker2025.bsky.social · 3d
“Mistakes can be lessons too…” I say as we wait for the ambulance
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beeclaudia.bsky.social
Claudia @beeclaudia.bsky.social · 10d
How it feels when you come home after work and get into your pjs
3 46 240
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daddyjew.bsky.social
DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 11h
this place is deader than your sex life
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