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Spooky 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦

@qwertying.bsky.social

4.4K followers 840 following 8K posts

I write jokes people, not to be taken seriously. I administer involuntary nasal exorcisms. ♥️ My wife: @skedaddle74.bsky.social 🎉 My bangers: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:zlxnj6iqvkdlmoj6npjt2l4o/feed/aaaemekfmmumo 🚫Crypto 🚫Onlyfan 🚫Porn 🚫DM=Block

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Spooky 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦 @qwertying.bsky.social · 23h

I'm a highly informed realist who has read the comment section. We're all doomed.

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Spooky 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦 @qwertying.bsky.social · 15h

a man in a blue shirt and tie is talking and saying `` alright , i 'm gonna go cry '' .

Alt: a man in a blue shirt and tie is talking and saying `` alright , i 'm gonna go cry '' .

media.tenor.com

Spooky 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦 @qwertying.bsky.social · 15h

I tried to be spontaneous by hiding naked in a pile of raked leaves. She just yelled, "I can see your penis and you're tracking mud in the house… again!”

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Spooky 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦 @qwertying.bsky.social · 15h

She bought one of those weighted blankets. Now our intimate moments are just me trying to dig myself out from under ten pounds of fabric.

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Spooky 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦 @qwertying.bsky.social · 15h

Her idea of a steamy October night is wearing socks to bed. Both of them.

Spooky 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦 @qwertying.bsky.social · 15h

My wife bought one of those giant, fluffy fall sweaters. I'm not having sex with a startled Muppet.

Reposted by Spooky 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦

Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 16h

My posts haven't been good this year or since 2015 really but you caught me at a bad time.

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RXSarsparilla🎉 @gypsymoon1969.bsky.social · 1d

Guys...I'm tired. Thanks for not being mean, terrible people. It helps.

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Reposted by Spooky 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦

GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 2d

Here, smoke some mirrors.

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 2d

If I live into my 80s, I hope to still laugh and joke like I’m 8.

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 2d

We take back our country for all our people, or we’re not taking back the country we need.

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 2d

Don’t nocturnal it until you try it.

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 1d

Hiatus is not referring to weed and oral sex.

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 1d

Cancel culture, but for that post you can't get to make sense.

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Reposted by Spooky 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦

GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 1d

*gently weeping*

It's just that we barely talk about Cracker Barrel anymore.

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 1d

If Bsky disappears, I’ll just continue to sit here eating Babybels while playing with my toes.

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Reposted by Spooky 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦

GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 1d

Your mom makes the most delicious urinal cake.

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Reposted by Spooky 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦

GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 1d

Ask your doctor if scratching your itchy eyes with a toilet brush is right for you.

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Reposted by Spooky 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦

GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 1d

Fear and loathing, and I’m nowhere near Las Vegas.

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 1d

I’m really gonna miss you when you all go to Mastodon.

*starts moving all my stuff into your poolside condo*

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Reposted by Spooky 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦

GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 1d

Me, holding job interviews:

Come back for a second interview, and we’ll finish this jigsaw puzzle.

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 1d

Captchas as foreplay.

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 1d

them: One can hope.

me: Sure, why not.

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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · May 28

Everyone says honesty is a virtue, until you're honest with them. Then you're an asshole.

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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · May 29

Life is so much more beautiful when you're not looking at it from behind bars.

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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · May 30

You're never too old too run away from home . . .

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