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Tusk Jenkins

@tuskjenkins.bsky.social

13K followers 3.2K following 4.7K posts

https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7bv2ca3yawj662o7qxd5xyt7/feed/aaabkx4ybmn2y

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · Aug 24

Neither shitposter nor hitposter but a secret absurd thing (fortune pierogi)

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orcus @goblin.news · 57m

two-dimensional phrenologist bastards!!

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 51m

bart simpson and homer simpson are standing next to each other with the words shake harder boy below them

Alt: bart simpson and homer simpson are standing next to each other with the words shake harder boy below them

media.tenor.com

Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 1h

We've profiled you based on your actual profile and it reads disconnectedly as an erotic thriller of the highest intelligence, I might add hilarious. If you ever commit a crime I'll be the first to put red herring in bio, let's alt away together

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PAM! @pamtoo.bsky.social · 8h

Anybody that finds the two for fingernails I lost while making these cookies gets to lick the bowl.

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Carole Boo @caroleu.bsky.social · 8h

A really good lunch will knock you out and leave you in a crumpled heap in the shade, smiling wistfully while you nap.

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lalalyds @lalalyds.bsky.social · 7h

If sitting at your kitchen table slightly drunk, watching the sunset, and listening to those old songs that meant something is wrong, then I don't want to be right

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Andreya @andreyasasylum.bsky.social · 7h

Amazon found something they think I would like and it’s cat litter.

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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 7h

[at stoplight]

*gets out of car, knocks on driver's window behind me after following me for 3 turns*

Me: Are you obsessed with me?

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lanyardigan @lanyardigan.bsky.social · 8h

(at ghost and ghoul happy hour) it’s alive o’clock somewhere

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Smarter Than a Waffle @smarterthanawaffle.bsky.social · 7h

My next door neighbors are away and they told me to pick the flowers from their roadside garden and so I did.

A blackberry marmalade jar with a blue label sits on a brown shelf and holds a bouquet of zinnias in shades of pinks and marigolds in shades of yellow and orange in front of a white wall.

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Seamus O'Flaugherty @seamussaid.bsky.social · 7h

TGIF! (tongue goes in first)

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headless horseDan @etbeeegood.bsky.social · 6h

lost in a sea of unrecognizable Halloween avis but that’s ok

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Blather Wince Repeat @blatherwincerepeat.bsky.social · 6h

One can’t accuse whoever named it ‘fireplace’ of gilding the lily.

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stuforreal.bsky.social @stuforreal.bsky.social · 6h

Long story short, hey good luck

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Nibblerstein’s Monster @arcanenibbler.bsky.social · 5h

People who like those crusty smash burgers probably eat their scabs when no one’s looking. Just sayin’.

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headless horseDan @etbeeegood.bsky.social · 5h

bird vampire, Count Cloacula

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Schmrrrrrrrlex @schmrrrlex.bsky.social · 5h

just hear me out: thrice baked potato

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NickNackPaddyWhack @radionichole.bsky.social · 5h

I made it to Friday night
[collapses face down fully dressed on bed]

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Nibblerstein’s Monster @arcanenibbler.bsky.social · 4h

Of all the pictures I have of my parents, this wedding photo will always be my favorite.

B&W promotional still from the 1935 film The Bride of Frankenstein in which the flat-headed, bolt-necked monster lovingly caresses the hand of his bride whose body is stiff and unreceptive. She’s wearing a white, armless gown but her arms are still wrapped in bandages leftover from her recent creation. Her hair is tall and frizzy, pulled back and up at an angle. The sides of her hair are adorned with white wavy streaks that resemble lightning bolts.

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orcus @goblin.news · 4h

Oh yeah that sign? Total nonsense, just scrambles up the brains, don’t try to read it, I’m resistant I guess because like you know?

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 4h

This is absolutely the last time I call an escort service and say “I’m not picky.”

Photo taken through a doorway into a room with two beds, one of which is occupied by a standing sheep.

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Blather Wince Repeat @blatherwincerepeat.bsky.social · 4h

I was toilet trained at 18 months using the Suzuki Method.

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PAM! @pamtoo.bsky.social · 3h

I'd tell you all you're acting like a bunch of asses, but I think I'll just let you figure it out.

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Rebel Yankee @tnrefugee.bsky.social · 3h

Just to tell you about the collective stupidity in our city, we finally got a roundabout and they put a camera on it. Everyone started doing laps, trying for the record, holding up traffic until they took the camera down.

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Nibblerstein’s Monster @arcanenibbler.bsky.social · 3h

Might fuck around and fry some mush.

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