Kellalena
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kellalena.bsky.social
Kellalena
@kellalena.bsky.social
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Things are falling apart as planned.
Reposted by Kellalena
It's the great ballsack Charlie Brown
November 25, 2025 at 2:10 PM
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I used to be young. Now I feel a little badass when I close the oven door with my foot
November 25, 2025 at 1:43 PM
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Strangeness is afoot. Weird shit is doing wonky stuff all willy nilly like
November 25, 2025 at 2:41 PM
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For this holiday season I’m going to respond to all questions from my drunk relatives with various song lyrics.
November 25, 2025 at 12:29 PM
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Anytime I’m near a crying baby, I try to toss skittles into its mouth from across the room
November 25, 2025 at 1:00 PM
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Ok, let's finish this day on a high note with a power loss or small fire that causes a loss of power.

Anytime now would be good.
November 25, 2025 at 1:26 PM
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“Why don’t you date”

Have you seen men lately?

“What do you mean?”

Sir. You are here with me and you just got through telling me you’re dating someone.

Does she know you’re here?

“Hell no!”

/fin
November 25, 2025 at 1:46 PM
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I saw an owl this morning! I'm so excited. I almost never see them. I love them!
November 25, 2025 at 1:26 PM
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I need a job that I can do in a hot tub.
November 25, 2025 at 1:44 PM
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my eye is twitchin, a lil pregame anxiety about the holidays
November 25, 2025 at 1:52 PM
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a food critic who doesn’t waffle but he does pan cakes 👻
November 25, 2025 at 2:14 PM
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waffles should have more confidence
November 25, 2025 at 2:02 PM
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If politicians are going to take us backwards, can we go back to a time before religion was invented?
November 24, 2025 at 1:04 PM
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My daughter (10) got her tonsils out today. When she woke up after surgery, she held up her stuffy, locked eyes with it and whispered, "What did you witness!?"
November 25, 2025 at 12:49 AM
Amen ✨
November 25, 2025 at 12:28 AM
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Nikola Tesla sues from the grave: "Get my name off that damned car!".
November 24, 2025 at 2:49 PM
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Sure Tulsi, I’ll be happy to “embrace the spirit of aloha,” if by aloha you mean goodbye.
November 13, 2024 at 9:38 PM
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overeating to train my stomach for turkey day

this is my olympics
November 24, 2025 at 11:43 PM
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Getting my debris read today, I know it sounds kooky but it's less invasive than having my wreckage scoured and more accurate than mayday mayday in a box
November 24, 2025 at 5:00 PM
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Monday is not ideal.
November 24, 2025 at 1:58 PM
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Adding an unanticipated meeting at the last minute to my Monday calendar is an unwelcome aggression.
November 24, 2025 at 4:46 PM
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Maybe my pants were trying to eat my hand.
November 24, 2025 at 4:26 AM
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I absolutely insist you love me forever.
November 24, 2025 at 11:28 PM
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I can’t believe you’re not butter!
November 23, 2025 at 1:13 AM