Kellaweena 🎃
@kellalena.bsky.social
11K followers 680 following 3.1K posts
Make me laugh and I’ll love you forever 👀 PFP by 🎨 @geraldinepiche.bsky.social https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:vvlw2ggojhkpmivjzdcniuzr/feed/aaafyok6b2wuy
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daddyjew.bsky.social
if someone stole my identity i’d be all like "haha, sucker"
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tuskjenkins.bsky.social
Every message I get from the beyond is like "you're poisoning my mind but sure, you do seem to read it first and that's an anomaly, even in close quarters psychic phenomena why is it so impossible to be heard" and I reply "Poison? sad face"
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cosmicclau.bsky.social
when you go to a mutuals page to catch up on their new posts but get distracted by the reposts on their page and jump to another mutuals page via the first mutual then another and another then you realise you forgot to check the first mutuals new posts so you go back and the cycle starts again
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notjpo.bsky.social
I like to tell people I’m a comedian so they’ll know my posts aren’t funny
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notjpo.bsky.social
Whenever you feel alone remember that there are a lot of people in your life that can barely tolerate you but they do anyway
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notjpo.bsky.social
Just know that your great grandparents are looking down at you from heaven feeling so proud of your butthole skeets
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notjpo.bsky.social
ⓘ 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘻𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦. 𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘳, 𝘯𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯’𝘵
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unfitz.bsky.social
My “beauty sleep” would have to be a lengthy coma.
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overlooked237.bsky.social
*orders value size hadron collider at this burger king*
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theciscokidder.bsky.social
"Better the devil you know than the devil you don't," is the secret to a long marriage.
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theciscokidder.bsky.social
It's sad how people expect change without actually changing anything. It's me, I'm people.
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theciscokidder.bsky.social
*brings updated terms and conditions to a knife fight*
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vtbee80.bsky.social
in an alternate universe a nine volt battery is licking me
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unfitz.bsky.social
My ancestors were good Danes.

No, they were GREAT Danes.
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titsmcdick.bsky.social
I think it’s funny when people are rude to me and then act surprised when they wake up in the trunk of my car.
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runswindows95.bsky.social
"Don't ask," I say while eating a Klondike bar.
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ayankdownunder.bsky.social
Boops your clitoris with my tongue*.

*repeatedly, because I’m not a monster.
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cosmicclau.bsky.social
i'm too jaded and irritable to start all over again on yet another platform so if this place implodes i'll simply join floyd on the balcony and while he growls at passing dogs i'll yell out what would have been random shitposts at their owners
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sicburns2.bsky.social
Can’t right now I’m writing the AP US History textbook chapter on how democracy was saved by dancing inflatables
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daisy91.bsky.social
Gives you a hug and whispers kiss my ass.
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daisy91.bsky.social
Sorry I can’t come to your wedding. That’s the weekend I’ve scheduled to blow pet safe bubbles to my kitten.
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notjpo.bsky.social
More like sees the day and goes back to bed amiright
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Reposted by Kellaweena 🎃
nahyoudoit.bsky.social
Women really be like “I’m sorry for what I said when you made me feel like an unlovable piece of shit”