Kellalena
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kellalena.bsky.social
Kellalena
@kellalena.bsky.social
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Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.
I’m shy at first and then gradually turn insane.
February 4, 2026 at 7:27 PM
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Whenever my son tells me we need to hang out more, I know he's guilting me into helping him bury another body.
February 3, 2026 at 2:18 PM
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My dental hygienist today said she recognized me by my mouth. I still can’t figure out if she was hitting on me Lol
February 3, 2026 at 10:47 PM
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6 yo on my lap: What if we got married?

Me: I don’t think my husband would like that

6: Yeah but what if he DIED

Me: I mean what are you offering here?
February 3, 2026 at 5:48 PM
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My person in Minnesota tells me that the level of violence continues without change, or maybe it’s even gotten worse. People are still being beaten and snatched. People are still afraid to get groceries. Please just know this.
February 4, 2026 at 12:04 AM
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if i had cleavage shit would be covered in crumbs
February 3, 2026 at 9:32 PM
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3% of every Bond film:

“..the sillhouettes of nude women dance. We can see parts of their butts and breasts sometimes.”

(also 60% of my formative sexual awakening)
February 3, 2026 at 12:34 PM
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i just saw my own shadow and it mugged me
February 3, 2026 at 10:49 PM
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Coming up with captions for pictures of my ass is more difficult than I had imagined
February 3, 2026 at 9:21 PM
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Give me comfort or give me death
February 4, 2026 at 12:40 AM
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Let's lay down, get cozy, and bitch about everything together
February 4, 2026 at 1:04 AM
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love shack
anger cottage
panic yurt
sorrow hovel
shame hole
February 4, 2026 at 1:12 AM
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I wanna get taken to the farm like the old family pets
February 3, 2026 at 3:47 AM
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I hope 2026 brings you peace and mind blowing orgasms.
February 3, 2026 at 10:55 PM
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help me early retirement you're my only hope
February 3, 2026 at 8:19 PM
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Pass me the test tube with the drama in it I have a hypothesis. Now put it back. You just wanna drag me into your science but I almost proved I mind my own business
February 3, 2026 at 5:46 AM
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Late nap because tired after not sleeping well because of late nap the day before because tired after not sleeping well because of late nap the day before because tired after not sleeping well because of late nap the day before ....
February 2, 2026 at 10:06 PM
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It's kinda weird seeing my own skeet on the "For You" tab.

Maybe another tab that has a "By You" tab.

And while we're at it a tab that features only swamps.

Yep. A "Bayou" tab.
February 3, 2026 at 9:31 PM
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Sometimes at the end of a long day, instead of a shower, I turn on 90’s jams and let the earnestness wash over me. Hey pass me the soap Dave Grohl
February 3, 2026 at 10:39 PM
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Not butthole jokes or cat pictures, but a third beautiful BlueSky option.
February 3, 2026 at 9:30 PM
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Just looking . . . is acceptable at Macy's and JC Penny, but not the gym . . . I know this now.
February 2, 2026 at 1:23 PM
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People who talk to their dogs are not judged as harshly as those that talk to themselves.
February 3, 2026 at 1:17 PM
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Happy short month for those that don't celebrate Valentines day.
February 2, 2026 at 10:24 PM
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Let's play, how to piss someone off in under a minute..family bored games.
February 3, 2026 at 3:12 AM
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Wearing a slinky like a boa while throwing myself down the stairs.
February 3, 2026 at 9:45 PM