Salty MacTavish
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saltymactavish.bsky.social
Salty MacTavish
@saltymactavish.bsky.social
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EVERYONE ACT NATURAL
Reposted by Salty MacTavish
Almost time to get out the supple and luxurious Viva paper towels so Thanksgiving invitees think I've really made it.
November 24, 2025 at 3:31 AM
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Humans were meant to hibernate in the winter and I won’t be convinced otherwise.
November 24, 2025 at 3:26 PM
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the names bond. gold bond.
November 25, 2025 at 5:18 PM
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Soaking in rice up to my neck will hopefully fix me.
November 25, 2025 at 9:56 PM
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The most valuable thing in my financial portfolio is the rubber I've had in my wallet since 2007
November 20, 2025 at 2:20 PM
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i genuinely didnt know eating a whole bag of Hershey kisses was bad for my heart. color me surprised.
November 26, 2025 at 1:00 AM
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DON'T TRY TO FORCE THE POSTS OR YOU'LL INFECT THE WHOLE AREA.
November 26, 2025 at 4:26 AM
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Weird how Thanksgiving is known for watching football but only 3 games are on and 2 of them involve Detroit or Dallas so my god men really can’t handle intimacy
November 26, 2025 at 10:36 AM
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The color of the sky in Seattle is taupe gray #898c8b
November 26, 2025 at 10:58 AM
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Nothing prepares you for finding out your new friend has other friends
November 26, 2025 at 11:30 AM
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just sayin i've never seen anybody in a jeep doin any wranglin
November 26, 2025 at 5:07 AM
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Pussy for Algernon
November 24, 2025 at 12:49 AM
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it's more of a pout for help
November 26, 2025 at 5:35 AM
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Telling my cat she's my perfect little bowl of cheese because she don't know what the fuck I'm saying
November 21, 2025 at 5:56 AM
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calling the butterball hotline and asking them when will life get better
November 26, 2025 at 1:03 PM
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Did Mace Windu ever say, “Hold onto your butts?” I really hope he did, cuz that would have been magnificent.
November 25, 2025 at 10:39 PM
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Not much, just devoting my life and personality to kids who will one day, in a completely healthy and normal process, utterly abandon me for their own lives. Hbu?
November 26, 2025 at 12:32 AM
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Skip the bullshit.
Inject your turkey with Heroin
November 26, 2025 at 2:47 AM
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Got invited to a clam bake. Imagine my embarrassment when I showed up with a fresh Brazilian and weed
May 12, 2025 at 2:38 PM
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Okay but here me out:

A nighttime library in which the only lighting comes from lanterns, an emotional support library ghost leads you to the books you are looking to find, and midnight croissants are served during every full moon.
November 26, 2025 at 2:34 AM
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The people running alongside the dogs in dog shows should be required to dress up as the dog. We want to see dogs running around, not humans!
November 26, 2025 at 1:42 PM
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Let’s give thanks for tradition where we all agree that a jiggly, canned fruit substance counts as a salad.
November 26, 2025 at 12:23 PM
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American Thanksgiving is a holiday built around a single, monstrous sandwich you have to earn by surviving a day of family interrogation.
November 26, 2025 at 12:22 PM
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A dating app that only shows their latest Spotify playlist and bank account balance.
November 26, 2025 at 11:30 AM
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Can someone take me in their cupped hands like a small frog and hide me in their pocket, please?
November 15, 2025 at 5:54 PM