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LeBond James

@octopithy.bsky.social

820 followers 270 following 1.2K posts

masshole shitposter nobody All the skeets 👉 https://bit.ly/3Aq0mLM Best of 👉 https://bit.ly/4fVp8ll Follow requests 👉 https://bit.ly/416xJ0O

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LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · Jan 22

Put on four layers plus my puffy jacket and now I can't fit in my '89 Civic.

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Reposted by LeBond James

Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 5h

You never think you’re gonna fist fight a nun but there was only one life preserver left and I have it on good authority they can fly

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LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · 1d

Why would I go to Mastodon when my awkward, subpar shitposting can get ignored here?

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LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · 1d

"If Mastodon blows up, I'll eat my hat!"*
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<buys stylish hat made of Swedish Fish to have on hand just in case, because I have a terrible track record of early-adopter success>

Reposted by LeBond James

AnnaMolly will typo @anna-molly.bsky.social · 1d

Mr Rogers was probably a really generous lover

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LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · 1d

Standing on the corner, ringing a small bell, wearing just a sandwich board that bears the truth: PUMPKINS ARE A FRUIT

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LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · 1d

Honk if you're of the age where you still use the circular arm-with-fist motion to get someone to roll down their window.

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LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · 1d

Shepherd's Crotch must be a real place.

LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · 1d

I only have enough cringe to share on one platform.

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LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · 1d

Absolutely not. No fucking way.

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Reposted by LeBond James

lemon 🍋 @littlelemontart.being.baby · 2d

don’t speak to me or my stuffed animals ever again

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LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · 2d

We left Twitter. Next, we migrate to Mastodon, where we need a shitposter quorum of 6,969. Then we begin the Third & Final Great Migration back to MySpace. Godspeed, everyone.

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Reposted by LeBond James

BAJA BLAST BLAINE @shrekromancer.gay · 2d

got fired from my job as a restaurant host because I was telling customers "park your flesh heap right over here" as I seated them

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LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · 2d

Your new Apple Watch 10 is cool bro but I'm crushing my steps goal from couch to toilet every day with this ShitBit™.

Reposted by LeBond James

Hawkeye @hawkeye0110.bsky.social · 2d

It's important to be vague...

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Reposted by LeBond James

Chames @overlooked237.bsky.social · 2d

my magic 8 ball just started adding “bro” to all its responses

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Reposted by LeBond James

AnnaMolly will typo @anna-molly.bsky.social · 2d

Bluesky is basically a public record of your mental breakdown

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Reposted by LeBond James

Pandy Fackler 🎃 @thatbrenna.bsky.social · 2d

Damn typos ruining my otherwise top notch posts

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LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · 2d

Thanks!

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LeBond James @octopithy.bsky.social · 2d

PSA: Toyota's All Wheel Drive-a-Thon has begun, which means Toyotathon is coming, which also means the Toyotathon Lady will soon begin collecting the souls she needs to survive the winter.