Mass Dude
@massdude.bsky.social
Dunkin enthusiast and joke Twitter refugee
My ramblings: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:4t4lpf5gu33hr2nzmatz5sxu/feed/aaaalwyh7fwzo
My ramblings: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:4t4lpf5gu33hr2nzmatz5sxu/feed/aaaalwyh7fwzo
Thanksgiving is the Olympics for professional carb enthusiasts like me.
November 26, 2025 at 2:37 PM
Thanksgiving is the Olympics for professional carb enthusiasts like me.
Reposted by Mass Dude
Orders a Xanax martini for breakfast.
November 26, 2025 at 1:14 PM
Orders a Xanax martini for breakfast.
Thanks for nothing, Tom Petty. I tried running down a dream and now I’m facing felony charges.
November 25, 2025 at 1:50 PM
Thanks for nothing, Tom Petty. I tried running down a dream and now I’m facing felony charges.
Reposted by Mass Dude
be the shit storm on the local horizon
November 25, 2025 at 12:36 PM
be the shit storm on the local horizon
Reposted by Mass Dude
Imagine taking out $200k+ in loans just for the privilege of a career wiping sick people's asses, be so fucking for real right now.
November 25, 2025 at 12:37 PM
Imagine taking out $200k+ in loans just for the privilege of a career wiping sick people's asses, be so fucking for real right now.
Reposted by Mass Dude
Anytime I’m near a crying baby, I try to toss skittles into its mouth from across the room
November 25, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Anytime I’m near a crying baby, I try to toss skittles into its mouth from across the room
Reposted by Mass Dude
I wish Fonzie could just hit the U.S. and it would start working properly again.
November 24, 2025 at 8:38 PM
I wish Fonzie could just hit the U.S. and it would start working properly again.
Humans were meant to hibernate in the winter and I won’t be convinced otherwise.
November 24, 2025 at 3:26 PM
Humans were meant to hibernate in the winter and I won’t be convinced otherwise.
Reposted by Mass Dude
For the record, I don't have a resting bitch face, I have a very active bitch face.
November 24, 2025 at 12:11 PM
For the record, I don't have a resting bitch face, I have a very active bitch face.
Toilets across America starting to panic thinking of their fate on Thanksgiving afternoon after everyone devours 5 plates of food each.
November 23, 2025 at 5:45 PM
Toilets across America starting to panic thinking of their fate on Thanksgiving afternoon after everyone devours 5 plates of food each.
If you’re drunk and insure clap your hands!
- me three shots deep every weekend.
- me three shots deep every weekend.
November 23, 2025 at 4:23 AM
If you’re drunk and insure clap your hands!
- me three shots deep every weekend.
- me three shots deep every weekend.
Reposted by Mass Dude
For more quality content, you'll have to follow other people.
November 21, 2025 at 11:27 PM
For more quality content, you'll have to follow other people.
Seasonal depression against comfort eating. May the best disorder win.
November 21, 2025 at 2:38 PM
Seasonal depression against comfort eating. May the best disorder win.
Reposted by Mass Dude
If I've got to eat and train like an athlete then I pick sumo wrestler.
November 21, 2025 at 12:41 PM
If I've got to eat and train like an athlete then I pick sumo wrestler.
Reposted by Mass Dude
My alt account will be me trying to be sexy mixed in with pics of various casserole dishes.
November 21, 2025 at 12:33 PM
My alt account will be me trying to be sexy mixed in with pics of various casserole dishes.
Reposted by Mass Dude
Life is short. Tell your crush how you feel and get rejected early. 😂💀
November 21, 2025 at 2:46 AM
Life is short. Tell your crush how you feel and get rejected early. 😂💀
I can t feel my face when I’m with you? Congrats, you’re dating hypothermia.
November 19, 2025 at 10:33 PM
I can t feel my face when I’m with you? Congrats, you’re dating hypothermia.
Reposted by Mass Dude
Ok so the “rear wiper” button in my car is not what I thought it was for
November 19, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Ok so the “rear wiper” button in my car is not what I thought it was for
Reposted by Mass Dude
I would throw myself under a duvet for you.
November 19, 2025 at 6:11 PM
I would throw myself under a duvet for you.
Reposted by Mass Dude
I miss phone booths both as a source for loose change and also as protection against attacking seagulls
November 19, 2025 at 2:06 PM
I miss phone booths both as a source for loose change and also as protection against attacking seagulls
Just waiting for the big Epstein file reveal where the DOJ is like “Oopsie printer ran out of ink lol sorry”
November 19, 2025 at 2:26 PM
Just waiting for the big Epstein file reveal where the DOJ is like “Oopsie printer ran out of ink lol sorry”
So fun to balance the line between “telling people at work the truth” and my desire to be able to feed and house myself.
November 18, 2025 at 1:30 PM
So fun to balance the line between “telling people at work the truth” and my desire to be able to feed and house myself.
Reposted by Mass Dude
If I spontaneously combust tonight, please know it was to avoid going to my job tomorrow and I died doing what I loved: not working.
November 18, 2025 at 1:48 AM
If I spontaneously combust tonight, please know it was to avoid going to my job tomorrow and I died doing what I loved: not working.
I worked for Bill Clinton on his 96 campaign. If he’s on the list and did what he’s accused of, he can rot in prison and burn in hell. Learned about not turning politicians into Gods long ago.
November 17, 2025 at 1:23 PM
I worked for Bill Clinton on his 96 campaign. If he’s on the list and did what he’s accused of, he can rot in prison and burn in hell. Learned about not turning politicians into Gods long ago.
Math we need to be taught in school: how much caffeine is enough to weather stress but not commit felonies.
November 15, 2025 at 6:40 PM
Math we need to be taught in school: how much caffeine is enough to weather stress but not commit felonies.