Stone Cold Jane Austen
@abbyhiggs.bsky.social
The OG. Feral essayist. Genderclear. Publicist. They/Thembo. Instructor/Professor. Words: @MarieClaire_sa @Guardian @The_Rumpus etc.🖖
Pinned
It’s a good thing Congress isn’t alive to see this
What 1987 song do you think will rechart (or chart for the first time, perhaps) thanks to Stranger Things 5?
November 24, 2025 at 2:28 AM
What 1987 song do you think will rechart (or chart for the first time, perhaps) thanks to Stranger Things 5?
Are You There, God? It’s Men, Opause
November 24, 2025 at 12:51 AM
Are You There, God? It’s Men, Opause
Reposted by Stone Cold Jane Austen
Fine, I won’t wish you a Lexus December To Remeber.
November 23, 2025 at 11:46 PM
Fine, I won’t wish you a Lexus December To Remeber.
I’m not celebrating Toyotathon this year, so don’t even think about wishing me Happy Honda Days
November 23, 2025 at 11:36 PM
I’m not celebrating Toyotathon this year, so don’t even think about wishing me Happy Honda Days
*folds my Larry Summers flag into a triangle while weeping*
November 23, 2025 at 3:54 PM
*folds my Larry Summers flag into a triangle while weeping*
Pack up
I'm straight
Enough
Oh, say, say, say
Oh, say, say, say
Oh, say, say, say
Oh, say, say, say
Oh, say, say, say
Wait, they don't love you like I love you
Wait, they don't love you like I love you
Maps
Wait, they don't love you like I love you
I'm straight
Enough
Oh, say, say, say
Oh, say, say, say
Oh, say, say, say
Oh, say, say, say
Oh, say, say, say
Wait, they don't love you like I love you
Wait, they don't love you like I love you
Maps
Wait, they don't love you like I love you
November 23, 2025 at 4:22 AM
Pack up
I'm straight
Enough
Oh, say, say, say
Oh, say, say, say
Oh, say, say, say
Oh, say, say, say
Oh, say, say, say
Wait, they don't love you like I love you
Wait, they don't love you like I love you
Maps
Wait, they don't love you like I love you
I'm straight
Enough
Oh, say, say, say
Oh, say, say, say
Oh, say, say, say
Oh, say, say, say
Oh, say, say, say
Wait, they don't love you like I love you
Wait, they don't love you like I love you
Maps
Wait, they don't love you like I love you
thank god the jizz poem is invisible the lesbian eye
November 23, 2025 at 4:11 AM
thank god the jizz poem is invisible the lesbian eye
I’m headed to Petco Lies & Fish if anyone wants anything
November 22, 2025 at 11:41 PM
I’m headed to Petco Lies & Fish if anyone wants anything
*me, following Virgil through the nine circles of hell* I’m hungry
November 22, 2025 at 11:10 PM
*me, following Virgil through the nine circles of hell* I’m hungry
Reposted by Stone Cold Jane Austen
Barista, I would like a non-demi curious, semi-binary Grande.
November 22, 2025 at 6:55 PM
Barista, I would like a non-demi curious, semi-binary Grande.
What is a friendship if not an allegedly non-demi curious, semi-binary relationship?
November 22, 2025 at 6:22 PM
What is a friendship if not an allegedly non-demi curious, semi-binary relationship?
Two tickets to the muscle show, please
November 22, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Two tickets to the muscle show, please
If you’re really bored, you can just pick up something and test to see if it’s a boomerang
November 22, 2025 at 4:46 PM
If you’re really bored, you can just pick up something and test to see if it’s a boomerang
Reposted by Stone Cold Jane Austen
This is a wonderful time to support journalists who do the work, don’t fuck sources, and actually have moral clarity.
i promise i don’t mean to high horse this but if you’re thinking about giving lizza ten bucks there are a lot of good independent journalists whose work you could subscribe to for a month instead
November 22, 2025 at 2:27 PM
This is a wonderful time to support journalists who do the work, don’t fuck sources, and actually have moral clarity.
Reposted by Stone Cold Jane Austen
i promise i don’t mean to high horse this but if you’re thinking about giving lizza ten bucks there are a lot of good independent journalists whose work you could subscribe to for a month instead
November 22, 2025 at 7:34 AM
i promise i don’t mean to high horse this but if you’re thinking about giving lizza ten bucks there are a lot of good independent journalists whose work you could subscribe to for a month instead
Silence! Of the Lambs
November 22, 2025 at 11:31 AM
Silence! Of the Lambs
Well, folks, I’m logging off my shift at the Staying Informed Factory.
November 22, 2025 at 3:14 AM
Well, folks, I’m logging off my shift at the Staying Informed Factory.
Reposted by Stone Cold Jane Austen
Crying at Ronald Reagan bearing silent witness
November 22, 2025 at 12:04 AM
Crying at Ronald Reagan bearing silent witness
This post-colonoscopy clarity is quite a metaphor
November 21, 2025 at 11:16 PM
This post-colonoscopy clarity is quite a metaphor
Reposted by Stone Cold Jane Austen
BUS RIDES IN CITES SHOULD BE FREE.
November 21, 2025 at 10:36 PM
BUS RIDES IN CITES SHOULD BE FREE.
I came out of my colonoscopy twilight sleep talking mad shit about Ellicott City, Maryland
November 21, 2025 at 10:53 PM
I came out of my colonoscopy twilight sleep talking mad shit about Ellicott City, Maryland
Are you telling me Mamdani and Trump scheduled their “Socialism Showdown” during my colonoscopy of all days?????
November 21, 2025 at 10:27 PM
Are you telling me Mamdani and Trump scheduled their “Socialism Showdown” during my colonoscopy of all days?????
JD Vance watching the Trump-Mamdani meeting
November 21, 2025 at 10:25 PM
JD Vance watching the Trump-Mamdani meeting
Reposted by Stone Cold Jane Austen
Find you a fascist who looks at you like this (then topple the motherfucker)
November 21, 2025 at 9:58 PM
Find you a fascist who looks at you like this (then topple the motherfucker)