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Jimmer Cork-Bottle

@jimmerthatisall.bsky.social

14K followers 2K following 2.2K posts

From the twelve-winded sky. Profile pic 1972. Discord: jimmerthatisall My posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2satfah44msc3khoojnhrvuj/feed/aaab3adsokgse

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Reposted by Jimmer Cork-Bottle

Jim @jimstewart.bsky.social · 2d

Sentences ending with question marks leads to requiring answers.

I don't see that happening.

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Dude @defeasance.bsky.social · 5d

Egyptologists would have a lot tougher job if the pharaohs didn’t like to write all over their buildings and shit

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CrazyMyra @outonthemoors.bsky.social · 1d

You should be legally obliged to have the same avi and/or handle across all social media apps.

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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 17h

guy from Louisiana: hey. how y’all doing? how’s bayou ?

me: what

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Jenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 17h

One of my hobbies is finding new recipes using Soylent Green

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LovelyDeep @midnightviolets.bsky.social · 13h

I burn bridges because I can swim.

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LovelyDeep @midnightviolets.bsky.social · 16h

If my eyes are on you don’t worry about the eyes on me.

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DB 🇨🇦 @rebelliousdb.bsky.social · 1d

I might be willing to take the moral high ground more often if it weren't for my debilitating vertigo.

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 1d

there’s a lot going on rn so don’t forget to pencil in time to scream

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 13h

Thanks Eric.

Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 13h

My posts haven't been good this year or since 2015 really but you caught me at a bad time.

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Midge @midge.bsky.social · 18h

People over 40 watching birds at the bird feeder

Picture of a crowd going wild with enthusiasm

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 13h

when you totally misread the vibe

A cow leans over a fence and licks the face of a very surprised-looking woman.

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bloody bacon popsicle 😅 @gupton68.bsky.social · Feb 6

I’m pretty sure my kids dislike me just the right amount to want to play Coldplay at my funeral but not quite enough to subject themselves to Nickelback.

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 16h

i don’t have the heart to tell him

A package of teal and brown cookies labeled "Black and White Cookies."

A white dog in a chef's hat in front of a rolling pin.

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S🌟tella @havishaf.bsky.social · May 20

In case no one told you today, y̶o̶u̶'̶r̶e̶ I'm beautiful.

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S🌟tella @havishaf.bsky.social · Apr 18

Once upon a time, there was a plant. It was beautiful and full of life, then someone gave it to me and it died.
The end.

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 19h

salt-n-pepa: *nod approvingly*

Several signs on a door instructing to "Push to lock" without turning the lock.

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bloody bacon popsicle 😅 @gupton68.bsky.social · 20h

My wife and I were once very happy. In fact we both probably smiled pretty much every day right up until the day we met.

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S🌟tella @havishaf.bsky.social · 21h

I’ll just migrate from my chair to my bed. That’s enough platform hopping for today.

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 21h

My “beauty sleep” would have to be a lengthy coma.

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · Oct 8

Surprise a beautiful person today by disagreeing with them.

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bloody bacon popsicle 😅 @gupton68.bsky.social · Apr 25

“You are a strong, beautiful woman” was apparently not quite what my wife expected to hear me say, particularly as I was wearing her favourite lingerie and talking to a full-length mirror at the time.

I have to say, the IKEA security guards seemed kinda surprised too.

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