Canadian Bacon
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tashaneedshelp.bsky.social
Canadian Bacon
@tashaneedshelp.bsky.social
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We’re all just a bunch of broken Doritos at the bottom of the bag.
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No other holiday makes me ponder disease quite like Thanksgiving
November 27, 2025 at 2:11 AM
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I used to be young. Now I feel a little badass when I close the oven door with my foot
November 25, 2025 at 1:43 PM
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i sleep on a large marshmallow and have a graham cracker blanket
November 27, 2025 at 2:14 AM
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give me fuel

give me fire

give me an extinguisher, this immediately got out of hand
November 26, 2025 at 11:44 AM
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I don't wanna be the spoon anyone stirs the pot with
November 26, 2025 at 3:33 PM
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Don’t hide your madness.

Harness it.
November 26, 2025 at 1:05 PM
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this is who i am now

*folds a large pizza into a taco*
November 25, 2025 at 6:24 PM
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Forget roses, lay me down on a bed of cheese slices.
November 25, 2025 at 1:28 PM
I need a job that I can do in a hot tub.
November 25, 2025 at 1:44 PM
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OnlyFans but it’s just me minding my own business.
November 24, 2025 at 5:13 PM
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if you have a crush on me, that will go away once you get to know me
November 24, 2025 at 2:58 AM
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You guys go and get some sleep I'll stay up and catastrophize for all of us
November 24, 2025 at 12:29 PM
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Cranberries. The band, the sauce, the season
November 23, 2025 at 7:54 PM
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they should make a ghost of christmas pizza
November 24, 2025 at 12:20 AM
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Some things are better left slurred inaudibly.
November 23, 2025 at 11:42 PM
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Holiday spirit has been canceled.
November 21, 2025 at 12:39 AM
If you make me angry I’ll add the scorpion pepper hot sauce to your meal.
November 23, 2025 at 11:26 PM
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Ruined my day by being alive.
November 23, 2025 at 11:20 PM
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Me: I want my pills wrapped in cheese like my dogs.

Pharmacist:
November 23, 2025 at 9:58 PM
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I wish I was rich enough to have Owen Wilson follow me around and say 'Wow' whenever I finish any routine task.
November 23, 2025 at 5:32 PM
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I’d murder you.

-Me, flirting.
November 23, 2025 at 5:11 PM
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I’m aging like a fine swine
November 23, 2025 at 4:44 PM
I haven’t lost my faith in humanity, I never had any to begin with.
November 23, 2025 at 2:35 PM
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It's the anxiety associated with waiting for the disappointment that'll kill you.
November 23, 2025 at 6:32 AM
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Sunday, run away day

*from people
November 23, 2025 at 10:29 AM