Goose
@augustagoose.bsky.social
Held together with cheese and double-sided tape
I get my news elsewhere.
You think I’m funny: tinyurl.com/HeeheeGoose
I think I’m funny: tinyurl.com/OtherGoose
NGL: ngl.link/justasillygoose
I get my news elsewhere.
You think I’m funny: tinyurl.com/HeeheeGoose
I think I’m funny: tinyurl.com/OtherGoose
NGL: ngl.link/justasillygoose
Pinned
If future archaeologists find my phone, they will rightly conclude that I am in a cat cult.
Reposted by Goose
turns out i don’t quit bad habits so much as shuffle them around a little
November 14, 2025 at 10:17 PM
turns out i don’t quit bad habits so much as shuffle them around a little
Reposted by Goose
I may not be perfect, but then again I might be.
November 15, 2025 at 11:17 PM
I may not be perfect, but then again I might be.
Reposted by Goose
THEM: looks like the cat's out of the bag
SCHRÖDINGER: not so fast, bucko
SCHRÖDINGER: not so fast, bucko
November 15, 2025 at 9:40 PM
THEM: looks like the cat's out of the bag
SCHRÖDINGER: not so fast, bucko
SCHRÖDINGER: not so fast, bucko
Reposted by Goose
Anything’s a fidget spinner if you are handsy enough
November 14, 2025 at 11:44 PM
Anything’s a fidget spinner if you are handsy enough
Reposted by Goose
Doctor: are you sexually active?
Me: I’d like to be
Doctor:
Me:
Doctor:
Me: no
Me: I’d like to be
Doctor:
Me:
Doctor:
Me: no
November 15, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Doctor: are you sexually active?
Me: I’d like to be
Doctor:
Me:
Doctor:
Me: no
Me: I’d like to be
Doctor:
Me:
Doctor:
Me: no
Reposted by Goose
Get back to nature.
Wander into the old forest, let your antlers and talons grow ragged, leave your human form behind, and become the malevolent monstrosity you were always meant to be.
Wander into the old forest, let your antlers and talons grow ragged, leave your human form behind, and become the malevolent monstrosity you were always meant to be.
November 15, 2025 at 7:31 PM
Get back to nature.
Wander into the old forest, let your antlers and talons grow ragged, leave your human form behind, and become the malevolent monstrosity you were always meant to be.
Wander into the old forest, let your antlers and talons grow ragged, leave your human form behind, and become the malevolent monstrosity you were always meant to be.
Reposted by Goose
no one:
me: i bet shrek shops at krogre.
me: i bet shrek shops at krogre.
November 15, 2025 at 9:00 PM
no one:
me: i bet shrek shops at krogre.
me: i bet shrek shops at krogre.
Reposted by Goose
my toxic trait is shitposting every random thought that pops into my stupid head
November 15, 2025 at 9:15 PM
my toxic trait is shitposting every random thought that pops into my stupid head
Reposted by Goose
Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store
November 15, 2025 at 9:54 PM
Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store
The kind of nap that you’re unsure of the year when you wake up.
November 15, 2025 at 11:01 PM
The kind of nap that you’re unsure of the year when you wake up.
I’ve got a tourney tomorrow, and apparently I’m stressed.
My brain is quiet,
my emotions are peaceful,
my spirit is content.
But the tip of my nose is twitching. (Also possible I’m only now coming into my witch powers, which would be excellent timing)
My brain is quiet,
my emotions are peaceful,
my spirit is content.
But the tip of my nose is twitching. (Also possible I’m only now coming into my witch powers, which would be excellent timing)
November 15, 2025 at 7:17 PM
I’ve got a tourney tomorrow, and apparently I’m stressed.
My brain is quiet,
my emotions are peaceful,
my spirit is content.
But the tip of my nose is twitching. (Also possible I’m only now coming into my witch powers, which would be excellent timing)
My brain is quiet,
my emotions are peaceful,
my spirit is content.
But the tip of my nose is twitching. (Also possible I’m only now coming into my witch powers, which would be excellent timing)
Reposted by Goose
Your daily horoscope:
Today you will feel like a porcupine - a strange little creature whose whole body can be a weapon if unwanted folks get too close.
Today you will feel like a porcupine - a strange little creature whose whole body can be a weapon if unwanted folks get too close.
November 15, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Your daily horoscope:
Today you will feel like a porcupine - a strange little creature whose whole body can be a weapon if unwanted folks get too close.
Today you will feel like a porcupine - a strange little creature whose whole body can be a weapon if unwanted folks get too close.
Reposted by Goose
Chuck E. Cheese was the doctor
Chuck E. Cheese’s was his monster
Chuck E. Cheese’s was his monster
November 15, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Chuck E. Cheese was the doctor
Chuck E. Cheese’s was his monster
Chuck E. Cheese’s was his monster
Post your favorite Star Trek character.
Wrong answers only
Wrong answers only
November 15, 2025 at 6:55 PM
Post your favorite Star Trek character.
Wrong answers only
Wrong answers only
Reposted by Goose
i think i don’t wanna know what my cat calls me
November 14, 2025 at 4:49 AM
i think i don’t wanna know what my cat calls me
Reposted by Goose
remember when stuff mattered
November 15, 2025 at 3:34 AM
remember when stuff mattered
Reposted by Goose
I put on my big-boy pants like everybody else, reluctantly.
October 27, 2025 at 1:18 PM
I put on my big-boy pants like everybody else, reluctantly.
Reposted by Goose
I wish I knew this before I married my wife who hates cheese
November 15, 2025 at 4:19 PM
I wish I knew this before I married my wife who hates cheese
Reposted by Goose
To be a grown-up has undoubtedly
been the stupidest shit I ever wished
as a kid.
been the stupidest shit I ever wished
as a kid.
June 29, 2025 at 9:49 PM
To be a grown-up has undoubtedly
been the stupidest shit I ever wished
as a kid.
been the stupidest shit I ever wished
as a kid.
Reposted by Goose
Caturday without your glasses on
November 15, 2025 at 4:45 PM
Caturday without your glasses on
Reposted by Goose
After exhausting all other options, I’ve decided to lose my shit.
November 15, 2025 at 3:34 AM
After exhausting all other options, I’ve decided to lose my shit.
Reposted by Goose
There are wolves inside of you, wild and free.
There's also a grizzled raccoon who's seen too much, a wine drunk lynx with late night ennui, and a sleepy little squirrel who often feels the weight of the world.
There's also a grizzled raccoon who's seen too much, a wine drunk lynx with late night ennui, and a sleepy little squirrel who often feels the weight of the world.
November 15, 2025 at 4:00 AM
There are wolves inside of you, wild and free.
There's also a grizzled raccoon who's seen too much, a wine drunk lynx with late night ennui, and a sleepy little squirrel who often feels the weight of the world.
There's also a grizzled raccoon who's seen too much, a wine drunk lynx with late night ennui, and a sleepy little squirrel who often feels the weight of the world.
Reposted by Goose
Building Wonder • bonsai treehouses
November 15, 2025 at 4:33 PM
Building Wonder • bonsai treehouses
Reposted by Goose
Reposted by Goose
*brings a mistress to a wife fight
November 15, 2025 at 4:09 PM
*brings a mistress to a wife fight