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Kip Conlon

@kipconlon.bsky.social

5.1K followers 3.2K following 2.5K posts

https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:jl254wzevuyus2qdi7awzs5a/feed/aaallxif7tq52

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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · May 29

If by "PCP" you mean peace, charity, and PCP, then yes, I AM on PCP.

Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 8h

I'm at a point in my life where I overestimate people's interest in my perspective.

Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 10h

Is it hand-gliding or hang-gliding? Anyway, sorry for your loss.

Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 22h

My t-shirt is meant to raise awareness I am Irish and you should kiss me.

Reposted by Kip Conlon

The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 2d

they should make doctor’s appointments that i am excited about

Reposted by Kip Conlon

Swim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · Sep 9

ME: honey why is there a scarecrow in our living room

WIFE: that’s my mother

ME: honey why is your mother in our living room

Reposted by Kip Conlon

mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 1d

Convince your neighbors you own a pet owl by yelling "has anyone seen my pet owl" through their letterbox at 4am

Reposted by Kip Conlon

Nappy DOOMlemite @nappydolemite.bsky.social · 2d

It was called Six Guys until Jimmy the Onion got greedy

Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 1d

Funny how you didn’t seem to mind my “empty promises” when I made them.

Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 1d

My crazy ex decided if she couldn't have me, that was fine with her.

Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 2d

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I've exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 2d

You get your words' worth with that one.

Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 2d

Cooler heads prevailed.

Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 2d

to think I almost went with gardenias.

Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 2d

My poem kind of bombed at the poetry slam. Not a daffodil crowd.

Reposted by Kip Conlon

captain bleach @blainecapatch.bsky.social · Sep 19

okay okay OKAY i’ll list Rolling Stone’s 500 Worst Albums

500. Moondance -- Van Morrison
499. Young Sheldon -- Radiohead
498. Turd Smokin’ -- The Turd Smoker Band
497. Well Whaddya Know 99 More Luftballoons How About That -- Nena
496. Songs to Fuck To -- Leonard Cohen

Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 3d

When house hunting, you must learn to think like the house. “I sure hate fire,” etc.

Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 3d

DMV clerk cackling as I check “organ donor” box.

Reposted by Kip Conlon

d.ly @dly.bsky.social · 3d

[when someone tries to move their cat off camera during a call]

LEAVE IT 🔫

Reposted by Kip Conlon

Marjorie James Keenan @unenthusiast.com · Jun 22

ngl a sleeper cell sounds cozy af

Reposted by Kip Conlon

Daisy @daisy91.bsky.social · 14d

My bank flagged my debit card for fraud because I spent $46 at the liquor store. Like omg assholes, sometimes I’m fun.

Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 4d

Downside of being dumped before Halloween is how lame Sonny Bono is as a costume.

Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 4d

You're not in college anymore.

Reposted by Kip Conlon

Anthony D. Herrera @aherrera.bsky.social · 4d

If E.T. The Extraterrestrial did kill people it would be the scariest monster in movie history. Just imagine E.T. screaming and flailing at you with a straight razor saying "ouch" every time it cut into your flesh. I don't want that to happen to me and that's how you know something is scary.

Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 4d

You only have one tenth wedding anniversary. Give her a Brita.

Reposted by Kip Conlon

ceej @ceej.online · 4d

Bride of Frankenstein? Yeah, used to be. Didn't work out. Now I'm the Bride of Greg