Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
Pinned
As the dogs and bees continued their attack, I tried in vain to remember my favorite things.
I published my first travel essay, “The Pizza In Italy Is Trash” while just a junior in college.
November 26, 2025 at 4:39 AM
I published my first travel essay, “The Pizza In Italy Is Trash” while just a junior in college.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
Hold up, on further inspection the mirrors on this disco ball are only reflecting the face of Jonathan Brandis back at me
November 26, 2025 at 3:53 AM
Hold up, on further inspection the mirrors on this disco ball are only reflecting the face of Jonathan Brandis back at me
As the only dweeb interested, I was the perfect choice for class treasurer.
November 26, 2025 at 12:41 AM
As the only dweeb interested, I was the perfect choice for class treasurer.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
There’s a new pink Swiffer stick in case any of you guys are looking for a Christmas present idea for that special lady in your life.
November 16, 2025 at 10:04 PM
There’s a new pink Swiffer stick in case any of you guys are looking for a Christmas present idea for that special lady in your life.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.
November 10, 2023 at 3:52 AM
Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster, so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.
November 25, 2025 at 1:56 PM
Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster, so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
a food critic who doesn’t waffle but he does pan cakes 👻
November 25, 2025 at 2:14 PM
a food critic who doesn’t waffle but he does pan cakes 👻
Karaoke audiences have called my rendition of Wipeout “awkward.”
November 24, 2025 at 5:45 PM
Karaoke audiences have called my rendition of Wipeout “awkward.”
You call this a luau? You call this poi? You call this rumaki? Sorry, I've never been to one of these.
November 24, 2025 at 5:28 PM
You call this a luau? You call this poi? You call this rumaki? Sorry, I've never been to one of these.
We were playing keep-away with Benji's inhaler when Benji suddenly lost all interest.
November 23, 2025 at 10:04 PM
We were playing keep-away with Benji's inhaler when Benji suddenly lost all interest.
Is today your daughter's wedding? Hey, that's great. Anyway, I need you to kill a guy.
November 23, 2025 at 3:49 AM
Is today your daughter's wedding? Hey, that's great. Anyway, I need you to kill a guy.
I'm up for friends with benefits if one of the "benefits" is a loving, caring relationship. But not a dealbreaker.
November 23, 2025 at 2:22 AM
I'm up for friends with benefits if one of the "benefits" is a loving, caring relationship. But not a dealbreaker.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
Amazing incorrect lyrics on the karaoke machine yesterday
November 22, 2025 at 9:15 PM
Amazing incorrect lyrics on the karaoke machine yesterday
“Thee to a summer's day, shall I compare?”—Yoda, courting
November 22, 2025 at 6:08 PM
“Thee to a summer's day, shall I compare?”—Yoda, courting
Reposted by Kip Conlon
but what do you do with your napkin rings the rest of the year don’t answer that
November 22, 2025 at 3:51 PM
but what do you do with your napkin rings the rest of the year don’t answer that
Reposted by Kip Conlon
the stress of having to fill out and return a pdf
November 22, 2025 at 3:23 PM
the stress of having to fill out and return a pdf
Landlord finally got back to me. Poltergeist guy is coming Monday.
November 22, 2025 at 7:19 AM
Landlord finally got back to me. Poltergeist guy is coming Monday.
I like Men At Work, but they should have played up the Australia thing more.
November 22, 2025 at 12:37 AM
I like Men At Work, but they should have played up the Australia thing more.
With the rise of Doo-wop came a huge opportunity for dudes with super high or low voices alike.
November 22, 2025 at 12:32 AM
With the rise of Doo-wop came a huge opportunity for dudes with super high or low voices alike.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
Donald Trump raving about his new friend Zorro Montana
November 21, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Donald Trump raving about his new friend Zorro Montana
Amateur magician lives up to his title.
November 21, 2025 at 3:38 AM
Amateur magician lives up to his title.
Reposted by Kip Conlon
Kinda nervous about household smart devices. What if the bathroom scale tells the fridge to lock me out?
November 20, 2025 at 11:56 AM
Kinda nervous about household smart devices. What if the bathroom scale tells the fridge to lock me out?
Reposted by Kip Conlon
You do not need AI to "punch up" your email. Just send it and move on with your life, Dostoevsky.
November 20, 2025 at 12:31 PM
You do not need AI to "punch up" your email. Just send it and move on with your life, Dostoevsky.
Asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to marry his daughter. We hugged, he called me “son.” Now to run the idea by Sarah.
November 20, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Asked my girlfriend's dad for permission to marry his daughter. We hugged, he called me “son.” Now to run the idea by Sarah.
Choose a lane, whale sharks.
November 20, 2025 at 4:39 AM
Choose a lane, whale sharks.