Uffdafuckingda
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uffdada.bsky.social
Uffdafuckingda
@uffdada.bsky.social
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If you ever want a joke ruined with facts, post it on social media.
Reposted by Uffdafuckingda
It was a dark and stormy night.
I like dark stormy nights..
January 14, 2026 at 5:52 PM
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Life is like a bunch of turd buckets.
January 14, 2026 at 6:19 PM
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#LochEriboll #Scotland
October 2017
When the sun hit the loch through dark clouds
January 14, 2026 at 5:51 PM
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I just wanna go to a family restaurant where they set out cracker baskets with prepackaged breadsticks, and include mixed fruit jelly in their jelly caddy.
January 14, 2026 at 3:55 PM
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My new therapy pitch for men:

"Bro, you 𝘨𝘰𝘵 to check this shit out, dude. It's like, this fucking person who's all like serious and shit sits and listens to all the wild shit you wanna say. And they don't even judge, bro. And they like help you figure out what it all means, bro. It's fucking wild."
January 14, 2026 at 3:55 PM
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Asking a ninth software agent how I'm supposed to bill for what the eight other software agents are doing.
January 14, 2026 at 5:59 PM
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concerned that everything lately is a purposeful distraction from something important and i’m pretty sure it wasn’t cheese
January 14, 2026 at 4:00 PM
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I want to live in a tiny mushroom house, drinking out of hollowed out acorns, and carving up roast berry to share with my forest creature friends.
a bunch of red mushrooms with white spots on them in a dark forest
Alt: a bunch of red mushrooms with white spots on them in a dark forest while a glowing blue fox, scampers across.
media.tenor.com
January 14, 2026 at 5:08 PM
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I’m hungry but I want someone to pick all the best bites and put them in my mouth while I do other things.
I’m too precious to feed myself. 😭
January 14, 2026 at 4:11 PM
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*pours a drink

It's 10:45am somewhere...
January 14, 2026 at 4:48 PM
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My fucking sky last night...these moments are the fucking reason we live
January 14, 2026 at 3:48 PM
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Interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Me: sitting where you’re sitting

Interviewer: where will I be?

Me: idk, maybe you’ll be president

Interviewer: wow, president. I like the way you think. You’re hired!
January 14, 2026 at 5:05 PM
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Why has no one fed me yet? I will light this trash can full of labubu’s on fire. Don’t test me.
January 14, 2026 at 4:52 PM
Anytime my outdoor leds lights start flickering and flashing I no longer think it’s a fault… it’s now Demogorgons.
January 14, 2026 at 6:32 PM
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How stupid do you think people are?!?

*looks around

nevermind
January 14, 2026 at 5:25 PM
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Behold my feminine rage!

If the leaf blower man would just ram his stupid leaf blower up his useless, non-leaf blowing butt, that’d be great. There are no fucking leaves, and EVERYBODY FUCKING KNOWS IT!
a picture of a raccoon with its mouth open and the words aa aa aa aa aa
Alt: a picture of an angry raccoon with its mouth open and the words aa aa aa aa aa
media.tenor.com
January 14, 2026 at 5:40 PM
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I see 'Epstein Controversy' is trending.

'Controversy' seems like really, really, really the wrong word.
January 14, 2026 at 6:19 PM
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Didn’t you read my bio? It says foul mouthed and slightly deviant. What did you expect?
January 14, 2026 at 6:20 PM
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Good morning Skeethearts ☕️☀️🩷
January 14, 2026 at 3:59 PM
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The world is NOT ending. But Verizon is down for many.
January 14, 2026 at 5:57 PM
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i washed my butthole and thought of you, please responnd
January 14, 2026 at 5:27 PM
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hot dog in chili crisp? HOT DOG IN CHILI CRISP!?
January 14, 2026 at 5:39 PM
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Democrats really wanna bring a QR code to a gun fight
I am introducing the Quick Recognition (QR) Act, which requires ICE and CBP officers to wear uniforms featuring QR codes. When scanned, the code would generate a digital ID displaying the officer’s name, badge number, and law enforcement agency.

ICE should be unmasked both physically and digitally.
January 14, 2026 at 5:35 PM
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Serious post. In my opinion, I believe that the three things social media should be about are Education, Edification, and Entertainment.

BlueSky has got this in spades. I love that I’m not inundated by “I know you are but what am I,” every time I make a silly joke. That shit is exhausting. 😪
January 14, 2026 at 5:48 PM
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even the guy who invented QR codes is mad about the idea
January 14, 2026 at 5:57 PM