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Jake_Vig

@jakevig.bsky.social

57K followers 9.7K following 18K posts

Playing like a champion. Just my stuff: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:4biy4v5nhe6h2wh25oveas64/feed/aaanqkdaizoek

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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · Feb 13

My card

Image of a person holding a business card that says try not to fall in love with me

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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 8m

I don't think we have any other choice

Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 8m

I think that's why they probably won't do it

Why risk it?

Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 11m

They should make a prequel to "The Godfather Part II"

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Reposted by Jake_Vig

trickyNOtreat 🎃 @trickykat.bsky.social · 6h

not gonna post good until the rest of you do the fucking same

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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 1h

Everyone knows that the classic scientific method is saying something that is wildly stupid and then trying to find proof for it.

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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 2h

Thank you, and good night!

Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 2h

We should never have let up with how unbelievably weird these motherfuckers are

Justin Baragona @justinbaragona.bsky.social · 3h

Besides linking Tylenol in pregnant women to autism, RFK Jr. now says circumcision is part of the reason why kids are autistic.

"Children who are circumcised early have double the rate of autism, and it's highly likely because they're given Tylenol. None of this is positive..."

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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 2h

At the end of the day, all I really want to do is run around the countryside upgrading my weapon, armor, and attributes. Maybe occasionally killing a monster. But that's about it.

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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 2h

Remember, if someone likes something that you don't happen to like, it means that they are attacking you and taking something important away from you, so you have to make sure to tear down the thing that they like. There really is no other option, like letting them enjoy what they like.

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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 3h

You ain't gettin the Nobel Prize, bru. Have another Diet Coke and drain your ankles.

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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 3h

“the girlfriend of one of the founders of antifa”

Reposted by Jake_Vig

Tuppence Pennywise The Clown @fabulucy.bsky.social · 6h

Bring back putting a phone to your ear and speaking into the mouthpiece to save everyone else on this train hearing your boring monotone friend telling you about trying to find a car parking space.

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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 3h

We have achieved several levels of success here

Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 4h

My primary way of getting around is traipsing.

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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 4h

Trick on how to always win at “rock, paper, scissors”: No matter what the other person chooses, sleep with their high school crush.

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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 4h

I've collected "001" tickets from every major deli counter in the world. No waiting in line for corned beef for this guy.

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Reposted by Jake_Vig

Steve Suckington @stevesuckington.bsky.social · 15d

WARDEN: and for your last meal?

ME: everlasting gobstopper

WARDEN: son of a

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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 7h

NYC bagels really do make other bagels taste like pathetic garbage. So what if they're $80 a half-dozen.

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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 8h

Knowing when to stop is the least used talent.

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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 8h

Tough but fair

Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 8h

You can't be an anti-cancel culture comedian and get paid by the "cancel means we dismember you for what you wrote that we didn't like" regime. It's pretty simple really.

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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 8h

Between throwing outrageous parties and paying heavenly bills, I keep pretty busy.

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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 18h

Still pretty shaky since Y2K

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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 20h

You most certainly can

Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 20h

Great points, you really do have to be a student of history in the genre