Jake_Vig
@jakevig.bsky.social
Playing like a champion.
Just my stuff:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:4biy4v5nhe6h2wh25oveas64/feed/aaanqkdaizoek
Just my stuff:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:4biy4v5nhe6h2wh25oveas64/feed/aaanqkdaizoek
Pinned
Reposted by Jake_Vig
Ode to Pies, here we go
November 26, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Ode to Pies, here we go
Every year, about 60 people in the USA are seriously injured attempting to deep fry a turkey.
Those are rookie numbers.
Those are rookie numbers.
November 26, 2025 at 1:55 AM
Every year, about 60 people in the USA are seriously injured attempting to deep fry a turkey.
Those are rookie numbers.
Those are rookie numbers.
I turned my head for two seconds and we accidentally invade Mexico.
November 26, 2025 at 1:50 AM
I turned my head for two seconds and we accidentally invade Mexico.
If we are doing pie takes (and we are), the only acceptable pies are apple, peach, and blueberry. Cobblers of any of these are preferred.
Pumpkin pie is rust-colored slop.
Key lime pie is like if you ate weak-ass cheesecake while looking at a photo of a lime.
Pumpkin pie is rust-colored slop.
Key lime pie is like if you ate weak-ass cheesecake while looking at a photo of a lime.
Ok this take is unhinged BUT I have my own version of this, which is that I actually hate pumpkin pie.
Apple pie is bad. This is not really debatable. So is key lime pie, while we’re on the topic. Pecan pie is the 🐐 tho.
November 25, 2025 at 10:22 PM
If we are doing pie takes (and we are), the only acceptable pies are apple, peach, and blueberry. Cobblers of any of these are preferred.
Pumpkin pie is rust-colored slop.
Key lime pie is like if you ate weak-ass cheesecake while looking at a photo of a lime.
Pumpkin pie is rust-colored slop.
Key lime pie is like if you ate weak-ass cheesecake while looking at a photo of a lime.
Hottest Holiday Toys
- AI powered magic markers that will only allow you to draw other people's art, but really shitty
- AI powered baseball that throws and catches itself
- AI powered AI
- AI powered magic markers that will only allow you to draw other people's art, but really shitty
- AI powered baseball that throws and catches itself
- AI powered AI
November 25, 2025 at 10:18 PM
Hottest Holiday Toys
- AI powered magic markers that will only allow you to draw other people's art, but really shitty
- AI powered baseball that throws and catches itself
- AI powered AI
- AI powered magic markers that will only allow you to draw other people's art, but really shitty
- AI powered baseball that throws and catches itself
- AI powered AI
Reposted by Jake_Vig
Imagine finding out immigrants aren’t the reason for everything that’s wrong with your life after all and you’re just a piece of shit
November 25, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Imagine finding out immigrants aren’t the reason for everything that’s wrong with your life after all and you’re just a piece of shit
White House Criming Cheat Sheet
Committing crimes (if by White House or GOP): Turns out, NOT a crime, also pardonable for a price
Telling people not to commit crimes (if by Dems): Surprisingly, an unforgivable crime
Committing crimes (if by White House or GOP): Turns out, NOT a crime, also pardonable for a price
Telling people not to commit crimes (if by Dems): Surprisingly, an unforgivable crime
November 25, 2025 at 6:38 PM
White House Criming Cheat Sheet
Committing crimes (if by White House or GOP): Turns out, NOT a crime, also pardonable for a price
Telling people not to commit crimes (if by Dems): Surprisingly, an unforgivable crime
Committing crimes (if by White House or GOP): Turns out, NOT a crime, also pardonable for a price
Telling people not to commit crimes (if by Dems): Surprisingly, an unforgivable crime
Ummmm... what are you even trying to sell me?
You know what, I don't even care. I'll take it.
You know what, I don't even care. I'll take it.
November 25, 2025 at 5:39 PM
Ummmm... what are you even trying to sell me?
You know what, I don't even care. I'll take it.
You know what, I don't even care. I'll take it.
Reposted by Jake_Vig
getting an earlier start to the day means there’s more time to focus on vengeance
November 25, 2025 at 10:34 AM
getting an earlier start to the day means there’s more time to focus on vengeance
Top 5 "Star Wars" Movies, Definitive List:
5. "A New Coma"
4. "The Wisdom of Space Muppet"
3. "Revenge of the Return"
2. "Space Bikini"
1. "I Am Your Father"
5. "A New Coma"
4. "The Wisdom of Space Muppet"
3. "Revenge of the Return"
2. "Space Bikini"
1. "I Am Your Father"
November 25, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Top 5 "Star Wars" Movies, Definitive List:
5. "A New Coma"
4. "The Wisdom of Space Muppet"
3. "Revenge of the Return"
2. "Space Bikini"
1. "I Am Your Father"
5. "A New Coma"
4. "The Wisdom of Space Muppet"
3. "Revenge of the Return"
2. "Space Bikini"
1. "I Am Your Father"
TEXT: I thought you said to meet at the statue of the topless woman riding a massive rooster
TEXT: Correct, I’m here
TEXT: I’m here too
TEXT: I don’t see you. Is the woman holding a giant fork?
TEXT: No
TEXT: You’re in the wrong place
TEXT: Correct, I’m here
TEXT: I’m here too
TEXT: I don’t see you. Is the woman holding a giant fork?
TEXT: No
TEXT: You’re in the wrong place
November 25, 2025 at 2:32 PM
TEXT: I thought you said to meet at the statue of the topless woman riding a massive rooster
TEXT: Correct, I’m here
TEXT: I’m here too
TEXT: I don’t see you. Is the woman holding a giant fork?
TEXT: No
TEXT: You’re in the wrong place
TEXT: Correct, I’m here
TEXT: I’m here too
TEXT: I don’t see you. Is the woman holding a giant fork?
TEXT: No
TEXT: You’re in the wrong place
Top Zillion Little Things That Make Me Furious Even Though I Know They Are Meaningless But I Can’t Let It Go
November 25, 2025 at 2:29 PM
Top Zillion Little Things That Make Me Furious Even Though I Know They Are Meaningless But I Can’t Let It Go
Biden said "c'mon man" once and a month of articles about the deterioration of civil discourse in politics followed.
November 25, 2025 at 2:22 PM
Biden said "c'mon man" once and a month of articles about the deterioration of civil discourse in politics followed.
Reposted by Jake_Vig
Would a repost fucking kill you, Charlie Brown?
November 25, 2025 at 1:53 PM
Would a repost fucking kill you, Charlie Brown?
Reposted by Jake_Vig
No one at the rap battle will wait for me to type my prompts
November 25, 2025 at 12:24 PM
No one at the rap battle will wait for me to type my prompts
Reposted by Jake_Vig
"So, we're all in agreement: this meeting could have been an email."
November 24, 2025 at 12:17 PM
"So, we're all in agreement: this meeting could have been an email."
Reposted by Jake_Vig
Tech bros really can't understand why we're hostile to technology that a) is frequently confidently wrong and b) threatens to ruin our already terrible lives
November 24, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Tech bros really can't understand why we're hostile to technology that a) is frequently confidently wrong and b) threatens to ruin our already terrible lives
Reposted by Jake_Vig
Twitter accounts are based in Russia. BlueSky accounts are based in homes with, frankly, too many books, plants, obsolete cables, and pieces of rustic pottery, that could do with a bit of a tidying up, to be honest.
November 23, 2025 at 8:29 PM
Twitter accounts are based in Russia. BlueSky accounts are based in homes with, frankly, too many books, plants, obsolete cables, and pieces of rustic pottery, that could do with a bit of a tidying up, to be honest.
Reposted by Jake_Vig
Reposted by Jake_Vig
Reposted by Jake_Vig
i saw Jesus Christ appear on a tortilla last night, he said he was working out some new stuff for a Netflix special and they made everybody put their phones in a bag
November 22, 2025 at 6:17 PM
i saw Jesus Christ appear on a tortilla last night, he said he was working out some new stuff for a Netflix special and they made everybody put their phones in a bag