Jake_Vig
@jakevig.bsky.social
Playing like a champion.
Just my stuff:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:4biy4v5nhe6h2wh25oveas64/feed/aaanqkdaizoek
Just my stuff:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:4biy4v5nhe6h2wh25oveas64/feed/aaanqkdaizoek
Pinned
When I'm meeting new people, I have a friend introduce me ahead of time as "co-creator" of some very popular thing, but also say that I hate to talk about it so please don't even bring it up.
"He is one of the co-creators of American Idol, but DO NOT mention it."
"He is one of the co-creators of American Idol, but DO NOT mention it."
February 3, 2026 at 11:53 PM
When I'm meeting new people, I have a friend introduce me ahead of time as "co-creator" of some very popular thing, but also say that I hate to talk about it so please don't even bring it up.
"He is one of the co-creators of American Idol, but DO NOT mention it."
"He is one of the co-creators of American Idol, but DO NOT mention it."
It is all there in the news, in the Epstein files, everywhere you look.
And there will never be consequences for the wealthy and powerful.
And there will never be consequences for the wealthy and powerful.
I feel the best way to hold people accountable is to let them get away with everything without any consequences.
February 3, 2026 at 11:37 PM
It is all there in the news, in the Epstein files, everywhere you look.
And there will never be consequences for the wealthy and powerful.
And there will never be consequences for the wealthy and powerful.
"No, you're thinking of my cousin Edward."
- Gus Spoonhands
- Gus Spoonhands
February 3, 2026 at 11:29 PM
"No, you're thinking of my cousin Edward."
- Gus Spoonhands
- Gus Spoonhands
Fired from our rap group for overly explained obscure references:
🎶Yo, I bring the spark, like 9th century King Bagsecg of Denmark, check his Wikipedia entry at w-w-w-e-n-dot-wikipedia-dot-org-front slash-wiki-front slash-list-underscore-of-underscore-of-monarchs-underscore-of-Denmark, yeah son
🎶Yo, I bring the spark, like 9th century King Bagsecg of Denmark, check his Wikipedia entry at w-w-w-e-n-dot-wikipedia-dot-org-front slash-wiki-front slash-list-underscore-of-underscore-of-monarchs-underscore-of-Denmark, yeah son
February 3, 2026 at 8:00 PM
Fired from our rap group for overly explained obscure references:
🎶Yo, I bring the spark, like 9th century King Bagsecg of Denmark, check his Wikipedia entry at w-w-w-e-n-dot-wikipedia-dot-org-front slash-wiki-front slash-list-underscore-of-underscore-of-monarchs-underscore-of-Denmark, yeah son
🎶Yo, I bring the spark, like 9th century King Bagsecg of Denmark, check his Wikipedia entry at w-w-w-e-n-dot-wikipedia-dot-org-front slash-wiki-front slash-list-underscore-of-underscore-of-monarchs-underscore-of-Denmark, yeah son
I guess Mike Johnson missed law school the day they taught all of the laws.
February 3, 2026 at 4:58 PM
I guess Mike Johnson missed law school the day they taught all of the laws.
Reposted by Jake_Vig
Found a couple of technical plot holes in "Weird Science."
February 3, 2026 at 2:16 PM
Found a couple of technical plot holes in "Weird Science."
You can do anything you put your mind to, but if it takes any effort whatsoever don't bother.
February 3, 2026 at 2:15 PM
You can do anything you put your mind to, but if it takes any effort whatsoever don't bother.
We are numb to the horribleness of horrible people
February 3, 2026 at 3:33 AM
We are numb to the horribleness of horrible people
I just visited a ranch. It tasted nothing like the dressing.
February 2, 2026 at 8:32 PM
I just visited a ranch. It tasted nothing like the dressing.
Reposted by Jake_Vig
Punxsutawney Phil predicted humanity would annihilate itself through tribalism and environmental indifference
February 2, 2026 at 2:03 PM
Punxsutawney Phil predicted humanity would annihilate itself through tribalism and environmental indifference
If you know the reference "SMALL seasoned curlies!" then we are already best friends.
February 2, 2026 at 7:42 PM
If you know the reference "SMALL seasoned curlies!" then we are already best friends.
Our groundhog-based weather science is not going to earn any additional respect from the aliens observing us.
February 2, 2026 at 3:38 PM
Our groundhog-based weather science is not going to earn any additional respect from the aliens observing us.
"You know who else saw his shadow thereby predicting six more weeks of winter? Well, he was but a humble carpenter from near the Sea of Galilee..."
February 2, 2026 at 3:37 PM
"You know who else saw his shadow thereby predicting six more weeks of winter? Well, he was but a humble carpenter from near the Sea of Galilee..."
Well, it took a lot of hard work, patience, time, blood, sweat and tears, but I'm pretty much in the exact same place.
February 2, 2026 at 1:53 PM
Well, it took a lot of hard work, patience, time, blood, sweat and tears, but I'm pretty much in the exact same place.
For a badass, I sure do use the term "samesies" a lot
February 2, 2026 at 1:50 PM
For a badass, I sure do use the term "samesies" a lot
[After 11th cup of coffee]
Can't for the life of me figure out why I'm so jittery
Can't for the life of me figure out why I'm so jittery
February 2, 2026 at 4:21 AM
[After 11th cup of coffee]
Can't for the life of me figure out why I'm so jittery
Can't for the life of me figure out why I'm so jittery
STYLIST: I have an idea.
CHAPPELL ROAN: Go ahead.
STYLIST: You know your nipples?
CHAPPELL ROAN: I'm listening.
CHAPPELL ROAN: Go ahead.
STYLIST: You know your nipples?
CHAPPELL ROAN: I'm listening.
February 2, 2026 at 4:12 AM
STYLIST: I have an idea.
CHAPPELL ROAN: Go ahead.
STYLIST: You know your nipples?
CHAPPELL ROAN: I'm listening.
CHAPPELL ROAN: Go ahead.
STYLIST: You know your nipples?
CHAPPELL ROAN: I'm listening.
White Men Can't Email
February 1, 2026 at 9:45 PM
White Men Can't Email
I fear Crocheting Bluesky more than any other group. They are vicious.
February 1, 2026 at 8:53 PM
I fear Crocheting Bluesky more than any other group. They are vicious.
Reposted by Jake_Vig
Careful, there—that’s a load-bearing defense mechanism.
December 23, 2024 at 4:44 AM
Careful, there—that’s a load-bearing defense mechanism.
Reposted by Jake_Vig
Just think about the amazing Epstein scoops the new CBS Evening News contributors will have just by interviewing each other.
February 1, 2026 at 7:34 PM
Just think about the amazing Epstein scoops the new CBS Evening News contributors will have just by interviewing each other.
Carlos Alcaraz is not only incredibly talented, he loves his job as much as any athlete I've seen.
February 1, 2026 at 5:08 PM
Carlos Alcaraz is not only incredibly talented, he loves his job as much as any athlete I've seen.
Buckle up for "they can't let the midterms happen"
February 1, 2026 at 4:13 AM
Buckle up for "they can't let the midterms happen"
Movie idea:
"Groundhog Day" meets "Edge of Tomorrow"
"Groundhog Day" meets "Edge of Tomorrow"
February 1, 2026 at 2:13 AM
Movie idea:
"Groundhog Day" meets "Edge of Tomorrow"
"Groundhog Day" meets "Edge of Tomorrow"