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CynicalTherapist

@cynicaltherapist.bsky.social

4.2K followers 2.2K following 3.4K posts

LMFT-LADAC Witch, Addictions Expert, Not your therapist. Both traumatized and trauma informed. https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3brg3tkarfmhgddu4pmgjbkq/feed/aaapaaog6d5h4

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 13d

Trying to live a life just unsettling enough to warrant a second autopsy.

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 11h

Yes I dangled a modifier, but I did it for you.

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Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 5h

Sagittarius: Today’s planetary configuration resembles a middle finger but it’s probably nothing.

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 4h

The phlebotomist is going to be so stoked!

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 4h

I bought the best watch ever and it is waterproof. So yeah, You could say I dominated nerd spring break.

CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 4h

Gross.

CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 6h

Not from my personal choice to have a watch so I'm not on my phone?

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 9h

muting people irl with a hammer

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 6h

Explains my want for lollipops

CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 6h

Ooh. Banker's tan. So chic.

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💀Tombkick💀 @doomkick.com · Jun 3

Fourth Date Idea: You tell me this isn't working. We hug one last time. You then back over me repeatedly with your 2015 Kia Sportage

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 7h

'Farmer tans' and 'red necks' are commonly understood but this tan line from wearing a watch has no folksy moniker?

It's just another disappointment.

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 7h

Just weeks into fall and I'm already so pale you can see my heart beating.

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slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 7h

i blame male loneliness on the invention of 12-ft skeletons. how are we supposed to compete with that

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Michelle @michelleroy78.bsky.social · 8h

I'm getting stronger with age. I can now lift $100 worth of groceries with one hand.

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Jack Boot @jackboot.bsky.social · 21h

I just say, "Hot dog." The "diggity" is implied.

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 19h

People say mucking foron like it's not how you harvest some extremely rare element from a swamp

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ꜱ ᴛ ᴀ ʀ ʙ ʟ ᴏ ᴏ ᴅ @yurei.bsky.social · 20h

How well you treat others and how you react to their idiosyncrasies is the only true gauge to how hot you are. Physical traits are highly temporary and subject to change, environment and aging; they're a completely unreliable metric for judging how long a relationship will last.

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 21h

I only need two more nose rings to deeply upset guys like kid rock? Sucks to reach the summit so early.

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 1d

Dweeb is nuanced.

CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 1d

Bringing back Dweeb, but as a compliment.

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 1d

I get why polyamory is so popular in California. It takes 3 incomes to survive and 4 to have nice things.

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Jason Adams @jamnpp.bsky.social · 1d

Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world,... I feel like I can't take it. And my heart is just going to cave in.

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 1d

From miller's outpost?

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 1d

The *good* spit masks?

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 1d

We've profiled you based on your actual profile and it reads disconnectedly as an erotic thriller of the highest intelligence, I might add hilarious. If you ever commit a crime I'll be the first to put red herring in bio, let's alt away together

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