Shade 5
@shade5.bsky.social
Pinned
Shade 5
@shade5.bsky.social
· Dec 14
me: how about a little nutmeg?
meg:
meg:
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selling my cemetery plot, i'm just not getting as much use out of it these days as i expected
January 30, 2026 at 5:43 AM
selling my cemetery plot, i'm just not getting as much use out of it these days as i expected
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if you saw what i did there, no you didn't
January 28, 2026 at 4:17 AM
if you saw what i did there, no you didn't
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*seductively recedes into the nothingness
January 31, 2026 at 1:05 AM
*seductively recedes into the nothingness
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Women love it when you compliment their mind. For example, “hey baby! I bet that pre frontal cortex looks banging in jeans!”
January 31, 2026 at 9:36 PM
Women love it when you compliment their mind. For example, “hey baby! I bet that pre frontal cortex looks banging in jeans!”
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Not everybody was kung fu fighting. I saw a little thumb wrestling, too.
January 30, 2026 at 12:28 PM
Not everybody was kung fu fighting. I saw a little thumb wrestling, too.
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im going to need to listen
to some music about this
to some music about this
February 1, 2026 at 7:54 AM
im going to need to listen
to some music about this
to some music about this
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*deletes YOUR post
January 31, 2026 at 1:38 PM
*deletes YOUR post
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your crush wants you to drink water
February 1, 2026 at 6:11 AM
your crush wants you to drink water
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I think what we really need around here is another wave of murder clowns
August 14, 2025 at 11:59 PM
I think what we really need around here is another wave of murder clowns
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the biggest “wait what” I’ve ever exclaimed
February 1, 2026 at 3:16 AM
the biggest “wait what” I’ve ever exclaimed
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he died doing what he loved… teaching bears to high five
February 1, 2026 at 5:50 AM
he died doing what he loved… teaching bears to high five
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take some vitamin D you sun deficient piece of shit
February 1, 2026 at 7:58 AM
take some vitamin D you sun deficient piece of shit
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January 31, 2026 at 7:52 PM
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Has anyone called Bovino a Nazi leprechaun yet?
January 29, 2026 at 2:04 AM
Has anyone called Bovino a Nazi leprechaun yet?
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I really wish SCTV was streaming 😔
a woman in a black sequined jumpsuit is walking through a foggy forest .
ALT: a woman in a black sequined jumpsuit is walking through a foggy forest .
media.tenor.com
January 30, 2026 at 6:38 PM
I really wish SCTV was streaming 😔
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So it now appears the safest place to be is in the epstein files and at a screening of melania
February 1, 2026 at 12:13 PM
So it now appears the safest place to be is in the epstein files and at a screening of melania
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People don’t show up with boomboxes like they used to.
January 29, 2026 at 5:32 PM
People don’t show up with boomboxes like they used to.
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I know that secret third thing and Im not sharing it.
January 29, 2026 at 8:00 PM
I know that secret third thing and Im not sharing it.
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Think it’s time to buy that private island for just me & my cats. Maybe a couple of you guys.
January 30, 2026 at 4:27 AM
Think it’s time to buy that private island for just me & my cats. Maybe a couple of you guys.
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Nobody is as good as me at ignoring a phone when it rings.
January 30, 2026 at 1:01 PM
Nobody is as good as me at ignoring a phone when it rings.
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We should have a minor inconvenience rewards card.
January 31, 2026 at 1:12 AM
We should have a minor inconvenience rewards card.
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Telling me who’s gonna be there isn’t gonna make me wanna go more…
February 1, 2026 at 12:31 PM
Telling me who’s gonna be there isn’t gonna make me wanna go more…
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carbs are like that naughty friend who calls after you’ve gotten your life together
February 1, 2026 at 3:24 AM
carbs are like that naughty friend who calls after you’ve gotten your life together
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You: [checks driveway]
You: [locks doors]
You: [checks house to make sure you're alone]
You: [opens a bottle of wine]
Me: [rolls out from under couch] WHAT WE CLASSY MUTHAFUCKAS CELEBRATIN’
You: [locks doors]
You: [checks house to make sure you're alone]
You: [opens a bottle of wine]
Me: [rolls out from under couch] WHAT WE CLASSY MUTHAFUCKAS CELEBRATIN’
February 1, 2026 at 2:02 AM
You: [checks driveway]
You: [locks doors]
You: [checks house to make sure you're alone]
You: [opens a bottle of wine]
Me: [rolls out from under couch] WHAT WE CLASSY MUTHAFUCKAS CELEBRATIN’
You: [locks doors]
You: [checks house to make sure you're alone]
You: [opens a bottle of wine]
Me: [rolls out from under couch] WHAT WE CLASSY MUTHAFUCKAS CELEBRATIN’
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Idk man, blissful ignorance seems kinda cool
January 31, 2026 at 9:28 PM
Idk man, blissful ignorance seems kinda cool