Steve Suckington
@stevesuckington.bsky.social
Stealer of lighters
Just my garbage:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3w5fhqj3gbndznf6ic3pfn6m/feed/aaaeov2vryvuq
most liked garbage:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3w5fhqj3gbndznf6ic3pfn6m/feed/aaabvdckmxp42
Just my garbage:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3w5fhqj3gbndznf6ic3pfn6m/feed/aaaeov2vryvuq
most liked garbage:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3w5fhqj3gbndznf6ic3pfn6m/feed/aaabvdckmxp42
Pinned
jesus christ just tell us if it’s maybelline
Reposted by Steve Suckington
No one at the rap battle will wait for me to type my prompts
November 25, 2025 at 12:24 PM
No one at the rap battle will wait for me to type my prompts
me: i have this recurring nightmare where Steven Tyler opens his mouth and swallows a microphone whole
therapist: i think that’s our time
therapist: i think that’s our time
November 25, 2025 at 6:21 AM
me: i have this recurring nightmare where Steven Tyler opens his mouth and swallows a microphone whole
therapist: i think that’s our time
therapist: i think that’s our time
what do you think is the Red Hot Chili Peppers favorite state?
November 25, 2025 at 6:06 AM
what do you think is the Red Hot Chili Peppers favorite state?
Reposted by Steve Suckington
[Dick Cheney's final breath] Tell my family I loved...war crimes
November 4, 2025 at 1:14 PM
[Dick Cheney's final breath] Tell my family I loved...war crimes
laying my jacket down on a puddle so my date can walk over it but then i put it back on afterwards and i can tell she’s creeped out
November 25, 2025 at 5:09 AM
laying my jacket down on a puddle so my date can walk over it but then i put it back on afterwards and i can tell she’s creeped out
Reposted by Steve Suckington
wish i could be cool and mysterious but unfortunately i can't shut the fuck up
March 11, 2024 at 7:12 PM
wish i could be cool and mysterious but unfortunately i can't shut the fuck up
Reposted by Steve Suckington
Me: I want a panic room inside a panic room in case I panic in the panic room.
Architect: You aren’t zoned for that.
Me: *panics*
Architect: You aren’t zoned for that.
Me: *panics*
November 24, 2025 at 1:55 AM
Me: I want a panic room inside a panic room in case I panic in the panic room.
Architect: You aren’t zoned for that.
Me: *panics*
Architect: You aren’t zoned for that.
Me: *panics*
[being waterboarded]
what am i gonna make for dinner
what am i gonna make for dinner
November 25, 2025 at 4:15 AM
[being waterboarded]
what am i gonna make for dinner
what am i gonna make for dinner
Reposted by Steve Suckington
i have something to say
November 25, 2025 at 1:18 AM
i have something to say
Reposted by Steve Suckington
I can't believe I'm losing followers just because my posts are "bad" and people find me "unpleasant to interact with" this must be because of a mysterious algorithm
November 24, 2025 at 5:38 PM
I can't believe I'm losing followers just because my posts are "bad" and people find me "unpleasant to interact with" this must be because of a mysterious algorithm
Reposted by Steve Suckington
Tech bros really can't understand why we're hostile to technology that a) is frequently confidently wrong and b) threatens to ruin our already terrible lives
November 24, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Tech bros really can't understand why we're hostile to technology that a) is frequently confidently wrong and b) threatens to ruin our already terrible lives
Reposted by Steve Suckington
Go ahead, put me on your stupid lists
November 22, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Go ahead, put me on your stupid lists
Reposted by Steve Suckington
[freddy krueger enters my dream and it’s just me pogo sticking around on a giant dildo]
Freddy: what the..
Freddy: what the..
September 7, 2025 at 3:51 AM
[freddy krueger enters my dream and it’s just me pogo sticking around on a giant dildo]
Freddy: what the..
Freddy: what the..
Reposted by Steve Suckington
[Pillsbury marketing meeting 1965]
Weird Carl: ok so the doughboy, what if we tickled him?
Weird Carl: ok so the doughboy, what if we tickled him?
October 24, 2025 at 4:12 AM
[Pillsbury marketing meeting 1965]
Weird Carl: ok so the doughboy, what if we tickled him?
Weird Carl: ok so the doughboy, what if we tickled him?
Reposted by Steve Suckington
“why did you give that homeless guy money? He’s just gonna spend it on drugs”
If he can buy drugs for $2 my fuckin hats off to him Terry
If he can buy drugs for $2 my fuckin hats off to him Terry
January 26, 2025 at 7:14 AM
“why did you give that homeless guy money? He’s just gonna spend it on drugs”
If he can buy drugs for $2 my fuckin hats off to him Terry
If he can buy drugs for $2 my fuckin hats off to him Terry
Reposted by Steve Suckington
the fucking gall of Alvin to name his band ‘Alvin and the chipmunks’. As if he’s not a fucking chipmunk too
August 5, 2025 at 2:43 AM
the fucking gall of Alvin to name his band ‘Alvin and the chipmunks’. As if he’s not a fucking chipmunk too
ME: skip school and we’ll go to the movies
REBELLIOUS TEEN: fuck you dad i want to learn
REBELLIOUS TEEN: fuck you dad i want to learn
November 20, 2025 at 6:19 AM
ME: skip school and we’ll go to the movies
REBELLIOUS TEEN: fuck you dad i want to learn
REBELLIOUS TEEN: fuck you dad i want to learn
Reposted by Steve Suckington
thinking about getting into smiting and other god-related activities
November 19, 2025 at 4:52 PM
thinking about getting into smiting and other god-related activities
Reposted by Steve Suckington
Back to the drawing board on the "live animal merry-go-round."
November 18, 2025 at 9:59 PM
Back to the drawing board on the "live animal merry-go-round."
even as a little boy i always dreamt of having bad knees
November 20, 2025 at 3:33 AM
even as a little boy i always dreamt of having bad knees
"Have some respect. This is a funeral"
*slowly removes giant sombrero revealing smaller yet still pretty big sombrero*
*slowly removes giant sombrero revealing smaller yet still pretty big sombrero*
November 19, 2025 at 6:48 AM
"Have some respect. This is a funeral"
*slowly removes giant sombrero revealing smaller yet still pretty big sombrero*
*slowly removes giant sombrero revealing smaller yet still pretty big sombrero*
Reposted by Steve Suckington
Hey look, Grandma! You made the cover of "Didn't Make Me Any Cookies Weekly" again. "What good is she to anyone?" it says.
June 20, 2025 at 2:10 AM
Hey look, Grandma! You made the cover of "Didn't Make Me Any Cookies Weekly" again. "What good is she to anyone?" it says.
Reposted by Steve Suckington
Flight Attendant: No animals on board
Me: He’s my therapy parrot
Parrot: Back off, she needs me. Which is her mother's fault
Me: He’s my therapy parrot
Parrot: Back off, she needs me. Which is her mother's fault
November 18, 2025 at 12:28 AM
Flight Attendant: No animals on board
Me: He’s my therapy parrot
Parrot: Back off, she needs me. Which is her mother's fault
Me: He’s my therapy parrot
Parrot: Back off, she needs me. Which is her mother's fault
Reposted by Steve Suckington
It's not my fault your nana's bad at karate
November 19, 2025 at 6:31 AM
It's not my fault your nana's bad at karate
"Welcome to the jungle we got fun and games"
Do you have twister?
"We got everything you want"
Sooo... is that a yes on twister?
Do you have twister?
"We got everything you want"
Sooo... is that a yes on twister?
November 19, 2025 at 6:31 AM
"Welcome to the jungle we got fun and games"
Do you have twister?
"We got everything you want"
Sooo... is that a yes on twister?
Do you have twister?
"We got everything you want"
Sooo... is that a yes on twister?