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The Amytyville Horror

@msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social

18K followers 520 following 13K posts

melancholic. bad poet. obscene, perverse, awkward little weirdo. she/her skeets: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaademkmaiuwk bangers: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:qpaecp6vknbnc77svofj4dvg/feed/aaaed4kso7mnw

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The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · Jul 10

“hey little girl is your daddy home?” bruce springsteen asks me

i don’t answer because that’s a fucken weird thing to say to a 41yo woman eating corn on the cob over the sink

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The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 8h

😉

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Seamus O'Flaugherty @seamussaid.bsky.social · 10h

the thing you gotta remember about guys over 6'2" is that they have definitely pissed in a sink and they will again

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The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 8h

i promise i taste really good

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alboo @captainacab.airbud.website · 10h

just me and the homies out at the strip club, all having a boner at the exact same time

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The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 8h

buncha creepy uncles really do got yer nose

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Frances "Are You Scared Yet" Meh @francesmeh.reviews · 9h

imagine giving someone syphilis before penicillin you'd have to be like sorry that creampie made your nose fall off baby

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 18h

You're beautiful when you're angry at that other guy.

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Fun @funkelly.bsky.social · 9h

sounds like someone doesn’t want to see me pole vault

Thread- I said not to brag but im probably really good at pole vaulting

Then some Addict cakes angry old bat said “it’s harder than it looks,” and I said “no it’s not.”

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The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 10h

not in public frances

The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 10h

ok but promise you’ll let me get extra gooey before smooshing me between two crackers

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The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · Mar 16

positivity people: did you know you can *choose* joy?

me: bitch, i am choosing not to poop on your car rn

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The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · May 2

no thanks heaven i don’t want more life at the end of my life

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The Amytyville Horror @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · Aug 13

i’m a modern woman i only drink from the most microplasticked penises

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 1d

Burying some 12-foot skeletons in my garden just to fuck with future archaeologists.

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Los 🥑 @los-los.bsky.social · 22h

bsky feature that tells drivers when on an on ramp to speed the fuck up cuz you’re about to get on a freeway

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The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 11h

Don’t worry, you guys. The people who are making all the bad things happen insist that the bad things they’re making happen aren’t happening.

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 13h

No, you cannot have my number. For then you might call my number.

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Reverie 💀🕯️ @augustreverie.bsky.social · 16h

*cute little cough to knock my heart back into rhythm*

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Reverie 💀🕯️ @augustreverie.bsky.social · 7d

Boy, if we were seahorses, I would get you *so pregnant*

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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 2d

whenever in doubt, always hip thrust

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Frances "Are You Scared Yet" Meh @francesmeh.reviews · 1d

[posting the most incoherent and bizarrely aggressive drivel]: what's the matter don't you know what jokes are

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Frances "Are You Scared Yet" Meh @francesmeh.reviews · 1d

my fallback plan if this place fails is to lead a fulfilling life instead of posting

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headless horseDan @etbeeegood.bsky.social · Nov 12

I’d know pretty quick whether I was a ghost or not by simply jacking off

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lalalyds @lalalyds.bsky.social · 1d

Moshing to the aol dial-up sound

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grilled cheese 🧀 @grilldcheese.bsky.social · 7d

*tucks your hair behind your ear with my big toe*

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