Shitposts In Tiaras
@shitpostsintiaras.bsky.social
Fancy trophy account. When you see one of these collectable tiara posts, click on the original post inside and repost it. That's how they get their royalties.
Pinned
If you ever nominate something and nothing happens then quote posts and comments have been disabled and we all agreed to just quietly walk away with the money
I am not phibious at all so this is newt to me 🏆👑 Congratulations @los-los.bsky.social from @trickykat.bsky.social
thought about starting a salamander habitat but axolotl work
January 17, 2026 at 1:43 PM
I am not phibious at all so this is newt to me 🏆👑 Congratulations @los-los.bsky.social from @trickykat.bsky.social
HE WAS A FARTER AND A BUZZED ONE 🏆👑 CONGRATULATIONS @granttanaka.bsky.social FROM @prettyvulgar.bsky.social
[my funeral]
Priest: Grant was a father & a husband
Guy In Back: WHAT
Priest: He was a father & a husband
Guy In Back: LOUDER
Priest: HE WAS A FATHER & A HUSBAND
Guy: WHO FARTED ON DONNY OSMOND?
Priest: Grant was a father & a husband
Guy In Back: WHAT
Priest: He was a father & a husband
Guy In Back: LOUDER
Priest: HE WAS A FATHER & A HUSBAND
Guy: WHO FARTED ON DONNY OSMOND?
January 17, 2026 at 4:41 AM
HE WAS A FARTER AND A BUZZED ONE 🏆👑 CONGRATULATIONS @granttanaka.bsky.social FROM @prettyvulgar.bsky.social
"More like sexagon amirite" doesn't quite work here 🏆👑 Congratulations @damnitjanet.bsky.social from @runswindows95.bsky.social
Laying in bed fantasising about being a hexagon cos I need more sides to sleep on
January 17, 2026 at 4:34 AM
"More like sexagon amirite" doesn't quite work here 🏆👑 Congratulations @damnitjanet.bsky.social from @runswindows95.bsky.social
So it's all the fucking wood then, that's how much 🏆👑 Congratulations @ygrene.bsky.social from @jollyrobber.bsky.social 🏴☠️
woodchuck: (seeing some unchucked wood) what the fuck is this
January 17, 2026 at 4:15 AM
So it's all the fucking wood then, that's how much 🏆👑 Congratulations @ygrene.bsky.social from @jollyrobber.bsky.social 🏴☠️
The emperor's new free shavocadoo 🏆👑 Congratulations @kaiserbillhelm.bsky.social from @jimstewart.bsky.social
January 16, 2026 at 3:55 PM
The emperor's new free shavocadoo 🏆👑 Congratulations @kaiserbillhelm.bsky.social from @jimstewart.bsky.social
If you're not cold then they're not cold and you don't even have to bring them inside 🏆👑 Congratulations @banish-all-hope.bsky.social from @jollyrobber.bsky.social 🏴☠️
No, I'm not cold.
Yes, they're always like that.
Yes, they're always like that.
January 16, 2026 at 2:36 AM
If you're not cold then they're not cold and you don't even have to bring them inside 🏆👑 Congratulations @banish-all-hope.bsky.social from @jollyrobber.bsky.social 🏴☠️
By admitting it publicly you give up your right to claim self-defarts 🏆👑 Congratulations @jimstewart.bsky.social from @runswindows95.bsky.social
I farted so loudly last night it was reported on Ring Neighbors as gunshots.
January 15, 2026 at 11:44 PM
By admitting it publicly you give up your right to claim self-defarts 🏆👑 Congratulations @jimstewart.bsky.social from @runswindows95.bsky.social
Got any old nice days just laying around the house? They could be worth as much as a million shitty days by now 🏆👑 Congratulations @daddyjew.bsky.social from @sophiafhc.bsky.social
Me: have a nice day
Customer: they stopped making those but thank you
Customer: they stopped making those but thank you
January 15, 2026 at 8:34 PM
Got any old nice days just laying around the house? They could be worth as much as a million shitty days by now 🏆👑 Congratulations @daddyjew.bsky.social from @sophiafhc.bsky.social
Pre-moisturization is never a smooth problem to fix 🏆👑 Congratulations @ironlilacc.bsky.social from @angrychango.bsky.social
Pumping this fucking bottle of lotion lasted longer than my ex
January 15, 2026 at 4:14 PM
Pre-moisturization is never a smooth problem to fix 🏆👑 Congratulations @ironlilacc.bsky.social from @angrychango.bsky.social
I'm just gonna say it. Noise catceling headphones 🏆👑 Congratulations @charloh.online from @prettyvulgar.bsky.social
adopting a kitten and naming her Nature because lemme tell you, she really abhors the vacuum
January 15, 2026 at 1:29 PM
I'm just gonna say it. Noise catceling headphones 🏆👑 Congratulations @charloh.online from @prettyvulgar.bsky.social
It does sound like they use Mad Libs to write ChatGPT🏆👑 Congratulations @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social from @ghostofelizabeth.bsky.social
"11 pulsating pot pies reveal their thoughts on Friends as a work of art."
January 14, 2026 at 5:51 PM
It does sound like they use Mad Libs to write ChatGPT🏆👑 Congratulations @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social from @ghostofelizabeth.bsky.social
Aw, newlyhalfs are so cute 🏆👑 Congratulations @runoldman.bsky.social from @gypsymoon1969.bsky.social
Marriage: To have and to hold.
Divorce: To hold onto half.
Divorce: To hold onto half.
January 14, 2026 at 5:28 PM
Aw, newlyhalfs are so cute 🏆👑 Congratulations @runoldman.bsky.social from @gypsymoon1969.bsky.social
Not all heroes get your cape jokes 🏆👑 Congratulations @kmillz.lol from @jollyrobber.bsky.social 🏴☠️
*reposting things i don’t understand in hopes of my friends skeets reaching more of their target audience*
January 14, 2026 at 4:43 AM
Not all heroes get your cape jokes 🏆👑 Congratulations @kmillz.lol from @jollyrobber.bsky.social 🏴☠️
Phil Collins writing these down as possible titles for his follow up to Hello I Must Be Going 🏆👑 Congratulations @linanneblack.bsky.social from @capnwatsisname.bsky.social
Exit lines I expect I'll be using in 2026:
1. I simply must go, l left my squirrel army unattended.
2. Oh how charming! Unfortunately, I'm already fully enchanted.
3. Goodness, is that the time? Is time still even a function of reality?
4. Yeah, I think we're done here, prick biscuit.
1. I simply must go, l left my squirrel army unattended.
2. Oh how charming! Unfortunately, I'm already fully enchanted.
3. Goodness, is that the time? Is time still even a function of reality?
4. Yeah, I think we're done here, prick biscuit.
January 14, 2026 at 4:40 AM
Phil Collins writing these down as possible titles for his follow up to Hello I Must Be Going 🏆👑 Congratulations @linanneblack.bsky.social from @capnwatsisname.bsky.social
The plot really starts to slip in season 2, but it's hilarious 🍌🏆👑 Congratulations @runoldman.bsky.social from @brickmahoney.bsky.social
On average, I spend about $150 a year to watch bananas turn brown.
January 14, 2026 at 3:47 AM
The plot really starts to slip in season 2, but it's hilarious 🍌🏆👑 Congratulations @runoldman.bsky.social from @brickmahoney.bsky.social
Jean Paul Sartre when you walk into Walmart 🏆👑 Congratulations @deeks549.bsky.social from @ashhull.bsky.social
I put the hell in hello
January 13, 2026 at 10:24 PM
Jean Paul Sartre when you walk into Walmart 🏆👑 Congratulations @deeks549.bsky.social from @ashhull.bsky.social
If you go to a party it's only polite to put whatever they give you on your nipples: barrettes, tupperware, nametags, appetizers, don't be an asshole 🏆👑 Congratulations @imwintersmom.bsky.social from @jimstewart.bsky.social
i got invited to a bralette and barrette party. but these barrettes are hurting my nipples and my hair is a lie. and it was for pets.
January 13, 2026 at 10:22 PM
If you go to a party it's only polite to put whatever they give you on your nipples: barrettes, tupperware, nametags, appetizers, don't be an asshole 🏆👑 Congratulations @imwintersmom.bsky.social from @jimstewart.bsky.social
Studies show they're using you for the carpool lane 🏆👑 Congratulations @im-all-id.me from @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social
I'm not alone. I have forever chemicals
January 13, 2026 at 6:20 PM
Studies show they're using you for the carpool lane 🏆👑 Congratulations @im-all-id.me from @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social
At least you won't have to worry about beating the Stay Puft Daddy Marshmallow Man 🏆👑 Congratulations @kaiserbillhelm.bsky.social from @los-los.bsky.social
When I die I want to haunt rap battles so I can be called Ghost Buster Rhymes
January 12, 2026 at 8:33 PM
At least you won't have to worry about beating the Stay Puft Daddy Marshmallow Man 🏆👑 Congratulations @kaiserbillhelm.bsky.social from @los-los.bsky.social
Yeah, "studying" 🏆👑 Congratulations @infinitefinite.bsky.social from @jollyrobber.bsky.social 🏴☠️
January 12, 2026 at 4:25 AM
Yeah, "studying" 🏆👑 Congratulations @infinitefinite.bsky.social from @jollyrobber.bsky.social 🏴☠️
There's owning a home and then there's pwning a home 🏆👑 Congratulations @sadbuthydrated.bsky.social from @lizzlepants.bsky.social
I just spent $21 on a sandwich because I have accepted home ownership is out of my reach.
January 12, 2026 at 12:42 AM
There's owning a home and then there's pwning a home 🏆👑 Congratulations @sadbuthydrated.bsky.social from @lizzlepants.bsky.social
Just a short playful walk between holy days 🏆👑 Congratulations @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social from @los-los.bsky.social
sundays are the perineum of the week
January 11, 2026 at 9:49 PM
Just a short playful walk between holy days 🏆👑 Congratulations @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social from @los-los.bsky.social
Your rodsmith name is the last thing you used as a dildo plus how you make dildos, mine is Dildo Maker 🏆👑 Congratulations @durtmchurtt.bsky.social from @jollyrobber.bsky.social 🏴☠️
Rod Smith would be the perfect name for somebody who makes dildos.
January 11, 2026 at 4:19 AM
Your rodsmith name is the last thing you used as a dildo plus how you make dildos, mine is Dildo Maker 🏆👑 Congratulations @durtmchurtt.bsky.social from @jollyrobber.bsky.social 🏴☠️
I don't like to get political but everything should be cornless and dogs should have bones 🏆👑 Congratulations @carnitas.bsky.social from @imwintersmom.bsky.social
cornless bonedogs
January 11, 2026 at 3:54 AM
I don't like to get political but everything should be cornless and dogs should have bones 🏆👑 Congratulations @carnitas.bsky.social from @imwintersmom.bsky.social
In my house this is a courtship ritual 🏆👑 Congratulations @tellumsiege.bsky.social from @jimstewart.bsky.social
I have to stop watching pro wrestling with my dog. Now when I tell her to heel she hits me over the back with a steel chair and pisses on me.
January 10, 2026 at 10:14 PM
In my house this is a courtship ritual 🏆👑 Congratulations @tellumsiege.bsky.social from @jimstewart.bsky.social