Cru
banner
carnitas.bsky.social
Cru
@carnitas.bsky.social
Chaotic Sleepy

America’s Weird Neighbor

📍a bog perhaps
Pinned
My first testimonial
I can't stand you
doing my stevie nicks goat voice until you impregnate or murder me
January 11, 2026 at 5:34 PM
online dating, summarized
January 11, 2026 at 5:31 PM
Bed time is 8 man
January 11, 2026 at 5:16 PM
I’m absolutely fine if the Macklemore joke doesn’t take off, just saying
January 11, 2026 at 5:11 PM
walk up in the club like
“what up. i have made a grave mistake
i should not be here”
January 11, 2026 at 5:10 PM
why are they so afraid of a 5 loko
January 11, 2026 at 4:32 PM
like bitch i had to soak these babies, no Mormon, germinate then plant
January 11, 2026 at 4:32 PM
Reposted by Cru
"I don't know what's happening here"

Me, while:
-watching sports
-parallel parking
-trying something new in bed
January 11, 2026 at 3:14 PM
Reposted by Cru
Hey babe your Fuck Ice rally or mine?
January 11, 2026 at 3:30 PM
no i will not be putting a link to my good skeets in my profile, you wade through my carefully selected reposts or you hit the little dots button, i will not do the work for you
January 11, 2026 at 3:22 PM
gas station pill for less boners would probably help a lot
January 11, 2026 at 3:21 PM
Reposted by Cru
i'd love to hear alternate definitions of secret police from "heavily armed masked officers that refuse to provide their name or badge number"
January 11, 2026 at 3:14 PM
i do not match energy. you can be angry all you want. that’s not my anger. that’s all you, boo. 🥰
January 11, 2026 at 3:13 PM
Reposted by Cru
January 11, 2026 at 3:07 PM
I will pay any amount
January 11, 2026 at 3:08 PM
Reposted by Cru
Crying isn't cathartic when it's relentless.
January 11, 2026 at 12:49 PM
Reposted by Cru
More like mental hellth amirite lol
January 11, 2026 at 7:13 AM
got two jacaranda seeds to sprout, cru for president
January 11, 2026 at 3:04 PM
Reposted by Cru
All the other scientists are yelling at me because I’m wearing the Doomsday Clock like Flavor Flav
December 12, 2024 at 3:36 PM
Reposted by Cru
Your honor my client loves crime
January 6, 2026 at 4:29 PM
Reposted by Cru
I’ll never bow to peer pressure. Unless you guys want me to?
January 10, 2026 at 5:00 PM
Reposted by Cru
January 11, 2026 at 2:15 AM
who ordered the sky cocaine
January 11, 2026 at 2:19 PM
Reposted by Cru
haha yeah babe i’m so spontaneous [combusts]
January 11, 2026 at 2:18 PM