[Sic] Burns
@sicburns2.bsky.social
Either drunken Scottish poet or bored American Midwesterner, U-pick.
Do these skeets make my brain look fat?
Do these skeets make my brain look fat?
Pinned
[Sic] Burns
@sicburns2.bsky.social
· Feb 19
I’m typing stuff in here but nothing’s changing out there.
I better pick up the pace
I better pick up the pace
Charles Ingalls had to venture out in the wild prairie to hunt wild game to feed his family I have to venture to the liquor store early enough to buy all varieties of limited edition goose island Bourbon County Stout — we are the same
November 28, 2025 at 12:31 PM
Charles Ingalls had to venture out in the wild prairie to hunt wild game to feed his family I have to venture to the liquor store early enough to buy all varieties of limited edition goose island Bourbon County Stout — we are the same
About to start throwing down with this punk behind the counter at Speedway because he’s charging me full price for beef jerky does this place not know that it’s Black Friday
November 28, 2025 at 12:23 PM
About to start throwing down with this punk behind the counter at Speedway because he’s charging me full price for beef jerky does this place not know that it’s Black Friday
Only 27 shopping days until all those people are back in your living room
November 28, 2025 at 12:14 PM
Only 27 shopping days until all those people are back in your living room
I’m a peaceful guy but if you get between me and that 50% off air fryer when they open these doors at 6 you’ll be getting my Dolce and Gabbana tread print on your forehead
November 28, 2025 at 12:05 PM
I’m a peaceful guy but if you get between me and that 50% off air fryer when they open these doors at 6 you’ll be getting my Dolce and Gabbana tread print on your forehead
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
A Very Brady Murder-Suicide
November 28, 2025 at 10:53 AM
A Very Brady Murder-Suicide
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
Told my son life isn’t fair. Then I pushed him off the swing to prove it.
November 28, 2025 at 11:40 AM
Told my son life isn’t fair. Then I pushed him off the swing to prove it.
Reverse medalgirl so we can get Hegseth’s attention long enough to tell him he’s a feckless twat
November 28, 2025 at 8:20 AM
Reverse medalgirl so we can get Hegseth’s attention long enough to tell him he’s a feckless twat
Ooh I’ve been out-whiplashed. OK how about this…
Hall and Oates
Mister Rogers
Bo Diddley
Mary Chapin Carpenter
Peter Allen and the Rockettes
Hall and Oates
Mister Rogers
Bo Diddley
Mary Chapin Carpenter
Peter Allen and the Rockettes
November 28, 2025 at 3:02 AM
Ooh I’ve been out-whiplashed. OK how about this…
Hall and Oates
Mister Rogers
Bo Diddley
Mary Chapin Carpenter
Peter Allen and the Rockettes
Hall and Oates
Mister Rogers
Bo Diddley
Mary Chapin Carpenter
Peter Allen and the Rockettes
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
people who leave family gatherings happy are totally unrelatable to me.
November 28, 2025 at 2:01 AM
people who leave family gatherings happy are totally unrelatable to me.
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you’ve seen:
Ray Charles
Motley Crue
Van Morrison
Maggie Rogers
Local H
Ray Charles
Motley Crue
Van Morrison
Maggie Rogers
Local H
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you’ve seen:
Tool
Ministry
Rage Against The Machine
They Might Be Giants
Frente!
Tool
Ministry
Rage Against The Machine
They Might Be Giants
Frente!
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you’ve seen
Dismemberment Plan (12x)
Jon Spencer Blues Explosion (2x)
Fantomas
Kool & the Gang
Tenacious D
Dismemberment Plan (12x)
Jon Spencer Blues Explosion (2x)
Fantomas
Kool & the Gang
Tenacious D
November 28, 2025 at 2:25 AM
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you’ve seen:
Ray Charles
Motley Crue
Van Morrison
Maggie Rogers
Local H
Ray Charles
Motley Crue
Van Morrison
Maggie Rogers
Local H
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
Its a bidet. It's a drinking fountain. It's the hose outside!
November 28, 2025 at 1:50 AM
Its a bidet. It's a drinking fountain. It's the hose outside!
If you’re a Springsteen fan and have Apple+, please join me in my annual Thanksgiving ritual of watching “Letter to You” and sipping something smoky before I have to talk to people. The tears are a bonus.
November 27, 2025 at 5:46 PM
If you’re a Springsteen fan and have Apple+, please join me in my annual Thanksgiving ritual of watching “Letter to You” and sipping something smoky before I have to talk to people. The tears are a bonus.
Ok my lovely amazing moots unless a certain festering human blowhole lays down for his dirt nap today I’m 100 percent politics free for the holiday — carry on however you need of course but I’ll be mutin’ ya ✌️✌️💙
November 27, 2025 at 5:41 PM
Ok my lovely amazing moots unless a certain festering human blowhole lays down for his dirt nap today I’m 100 percent politics free for the holiday — carry on however you need of course but I’ll be mutin’ ya ✌️✌️💙
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
We can do this the easy way, or we can do it the poison-tipped blowdart way
November 27, 2025 at 5:24 PM
We can do this the easy way, or we can do it the poison-tipped blowdart way
Reposted by [Sic] Burns
finished my Turkey. What’s for Christmas?
November 27, 2025 at 5:26 PM
finished my Turkey. What’s for Christmas?
Inglorious Basterds is a Thanksgiving movie Nana down in front
November 27, 2025 at 4:19 PM
Inglorious Basterds is a Thanksgiving movie Nana down in front
We need to start a Handsgiving because I’m a handful come on people get it trending
November 27, 2025 at 3:34 PM
We need to start a Handsgiving because I’m a handful come on people get it trending
OK somebody tackle Jewel and grab her magic youth beads what the fuck
November 27, 2025 at 3:21 PM
OK somebody tackle Jewel and grab her magic youth beads what the fuck
Come on Macy’s cowards roll out the ICE float
November 27, 2025 at 3:08 PM
Come on Macy’s cowards roll out the ICE float
By the way I gave my writers and production team the day off to spend with their families so it’s just me spewing this nonsense today
November 27, 2025 at 3:07 PM
By the way I gave my writers and production team the day off to spend with their families so it’s just me spewing this nonsense today
I swear I’ve seen this same Macy’s parade before what the hell
November 27, 2025 at 3:05 PM
I swear I’ve seen this same Macy’s parade before what the hell
Tombstone is a Thanksgiving movie aunt Cathy
November 27, 2025 at 1:20 PM
Tombstone is a Thanksgiving movie aunt Cathy
Putting the turkey in the oven now so that it’s ready in that critical half-hour between the coffee buzz and the bourbon haze
November 27, 2025 at 1:15 PM
Putting the turkey in the oven now so that it’s ready in that critical half-hour between the coffee buzz and the bourbon haze
As I do every year, today I’ll take time to empathize with the native peoples of this land by wondering who invited all of these annoying assholes to my house anyway
November 27, 2025 at 1:01 PM
As I do every year, today I’ll take time to empathize with the native peoples of this land by wondering who invited all of these annoying assholes to my house anyway
Working on my annual Thanksgiving poem to read at the table today what rhymes with ingrates
November 27, 2025 at 12:54 PM
Working on my annual Thanksgiving poem to read at the table today what rhymes with ingrates