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[Sic] Burns

@sicburns2.bsky.social

4.9K followers 1.6K following 22K posts

Either drunken Scottish poet or bored American Midwesterner, U-pick. Do these skeets make my brain look fat?

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[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · Feb 19

I’m typing stuff in here but nothing’s changing out there.
I better pick up the pace

Reposted by [Sic] Burns

William Shakespeare @shakespeare.lol · 8h

It is a tale
Told by an idiot

Reposted by [Sic] Burns

Jenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 7h

Beware, someone could be watching you at any time. Tracking your every move. Not me though. I’m too lazy.

[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 15h

I’m recommending repeated viewings of the Pitch Perfect movies

[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 16h

I’m still kicking around these parts trying to stay outta trouble 😉

[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 16h

Hang on I have to pull my fainting couch out of the storage facility!

Reposted by [Sic] Burns

Bill Corbett @billcorbett.bsky.social · 1d

Hopefully this’ll change soon, but I’m not finding October very spooktacular yet.

[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 16h

Aw gee whiz! 🥰

[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 17h

Served up on a silver plaid-er for you

[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 17h

Shhhhh don’t let the dead whale guy hear that

[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 17h

And you know my skeets have a mind of their own and will be shared no matter what I say 😁

[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 17h

That’s true — you’ll never develop good sin immunity if you never expose yourself to some minor sinning

[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 17h

OMG Now that’s one hell of a quick football yanking. Time for CNN to put its elbows up on the brick wall with Linus and own their miserable failings

[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 17h

That’s how they get ya!

[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 17h

Charlie Brown: This time Lucy’s not going to pull that ball away!

CNN: Let’s form a panel to stroke the genius of this ceasefire agreement

[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 17h

Is this how Dad humor started

Snowden St. @snowden.st · May 14

Yeah, this was in Dallas in the late 90s, but we had 4 armed men come in with real unloaded guns, and take a few of us aside. Said they were here to kill believers, and asked if we were believers. After we all said "Yes", they unmasked themselves as dads from church.

[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 17h

I would’ve killed to be able to do that in 8th grade

Reposted by [Sic] Burns

SpatialKimtamine @kimmalien.bsky.social · 18h

Farted out a lung

[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 17h

I’d migrate over there but the discourse is half-baked

Reposted by [Sic] Burns

trickyNOtreat 🎃 @trickykat.bsky.social · 21h

not bsky not mastodon but a secret third thing (cake)

Reposted by [Sic] Burns

FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 19h

[having 'the talk' with my teenage son] don't EVER call me bro

Reposted by [Sic] Burns

LovelyDeep @midnightviolets.bsky.social · 17h

I burn bridges because I can swim.

[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 17h

So you don’t agree that he deserves to win a prize for being a piece of shit? I’m confused

[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 17h

You saw the “Piece of Shit” part right? Because I’m calling him a piece of shit

[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 19h

Sounds great in theory but look out it’s often a pile of neon-colored sour insects and flamin hot everything else

Reposted by [Sic] Burns

Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 20h

If you want to search a vengeful ghost you need a warrant signed by a grudge but seriously, all the business you have collected so far isn't unfinished enough to be admissable