Marl
@marlebean.bsky.social
If you innocently act like you don't know, people will explain dirty words to you and it's hilarious.
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7ehz6ygwahh2y3lgk7dq3xs2/feed/aaacgqxvtud72
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7ehz6ygwahh2y3lgk7dq3xs2/feed/aaacgqxvtud72
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Marl
@marlebean.bsky.social
· Feb 4
*Looks in mirror*
I hope everyone I meet today is visually impaired.
I hope everyone I meet today is visually impaired.
Reposted by Marl
[basting the turkey]
Everything reminds me of him
Everything reminds me of him
November 25, 2025 at 2:42 PM
[basting the turkey]
Everything reminds me of him
Everything reminds me of him
Reposted by Marl
Google Maps: object on road ahead
Me: uh, yeah, they're called cars, jeez
Me: uh, yeah, they're called cars, jeez
November 24, 2025 at 11:58 PM
Google Maps: object on road ahead
Me: uh, yeah, they're called cars, jeez
Me: uh, yeah, they're called cars, jeez
Reposted by Marl
Some nights I throw all of my coats on the bed in the guest room so it looks like I’m having a big party.
November 25, 2025 at 12:32 AM
Some nights I throw all of my coats on the bed in the guest room so it looks like I’m having a big party.
Reposted by Marl
(me, who never even leaves the house) i could be a space pirate
November 25, 2025 at 1:10 AM
(me, who never even leaves the house) i could be a space pirate
Reposted by Marl
The football should give the players a little shock to defend itself
November 23, 2025 at 10:36 PM
The football should give the players a little shock to defend itself
Reposted by Marl
The test subjects in the beta project today were labelled "testees" and my inner 13 year old absolutely frolicked
November 24, 2025 at 9:58 PM
The test subjects in the beta project today were labelled "testees" and my inner 13 year old absolutely frolicked
Reposted by Marl
it’s all downhill once you get bumped up from the kid’s table at thanksgiving
November 24, 2025 at 2:53 PM
it’s all downhill once you get bumped up from the kid’s table at thanksgiving
Reposted by Marl
“Great, now I have to pee.”
November 24, 2025 at 6:07 PM
“Great, now I have to pee.”
Reposted by Marl
*Foo Fighters song comes on the car radio*
Her: I can’t believe they’re playing this on the oldies station.
Me: This is a classic rock station.
Her: Same thing.
Me: *stops car* Get out.
Her: I can’t believe they’re playing this on the oldies station.
Me: This is a classic rock station.
Her: Same thing.
Me: *stops car* Get out.
November 24, 2025 at 11:36 PM
*Foo Fighters song comes on the car radio*
Her: I can’t believe they’re playing this on the oldies station.
Me: This is a classic rock station.
Her: Same thing.
Me: *stops car* Get out.
Her: I can’t believe they’re playing this on the oldies station.
Me: This is a classic rock station.
Her: Same thing.
Me: *stops car* Get out.
Reposted by Marl
having a wood chipper would be fun
November 23, 2025 at 3:32 PM
having a wood chipper would be fun
Reposted by Marl
I’m great at flirting but only with the Costco lady handing out probiotic samples and only for two lines
November 25, 2025 at 1:38 AM
I’m great at flirting but only with the Costco lady handing out probiotic samples and only for two lines
Reposted by Marl
If I was a witch, I'd curse you to wear tight jeans to Thanksgiving dinner.
November 27, 2024 at 2:50 AM
If I was a witch, I'd curse you to wear tight jeans to Thanksgiving dinner.
Reposted by Marl
Oh you love Thanksgiving?
Name every disease the settlers gave the natives.
Name every disease the settlers gave the natives.
November 27, 2024 at 3:44 PM
Oh you love Thanksgiving?
Name every disease the settlers gave the natives.
Name every disease the settlers gave the natives.
Reposted by Marl
why does the most awkward person in every sitcom seem to be based on someone like me
November 22, 2025 at 1:38 PM
why does the most awkward person in every sitcom seem to be based on someone like me
Reposted by Marl
Woke up 2 hours before my alarm and couldn't get back to sleep so I get it serial killers
November 19, 2025 at 11:04 AM
Woke up 2 hours before my alarm and couldn't get back to sleep so I get it serial killers
Reposted by Marl
If a woman looks sad, tell her, "You'd be pretty if you smiled more" and you won't see her looking sad anymore because you will be dead.
November 17, 2025 at 11:21 PM
If a woman looks sad, tell her, "You'd be pretty if you smiled more" and you won't see her looking sad anymore because you will be dead.
Reposted by Marl
Where did you get that avi taken? The dmv?
October 13, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Where did you get that avi taken? The dmv?
Reposted by Marl
This time of year when you rage against the machine chances are that machine is a neighbor's noisy leaf blower.
November 19, 2025 at 3:31 PM
This time of year when you rage against the machine chances are that machine is a neighbor's noisy leaf blower.
Reposted by Marl
$5 to whoever finds the pouch of little magnets I bought the other day
November 15, 2025 at 12:39 AM
$5 to whoever finds the pouch of little magnets I bought the other day
Reposted by Marl
All I'm saying is the second guy to bungee jump was honest about his weight.
November 20, 2025 at 10:14 PM
All I'm saying is the second guy to bungee jump was honest about his weight.
Reposted by Marl
Imagine being able to find something in the first drawer you try.
November 20, 2025 at 10:22 PM
Imagine being able to find something in the first drawer you try.
Reposted by Marl
string cheese is just cheese hair, hair that is now inside you, it’s a part of you
November 20, 2025 at 11:42 PM
string cheese is just cheese hair, hair that is now inside you, it’s a part of you
Reposted by Marl
*gets insulted* wow wait till I google what that means.
November 21, 2025 at 12:02 AM
*gets insulted* wow wait till I google what that means.
Reposted by Marl
So what exactly happens when you reach the 19th hour and you're wearing an eighteen hour bra?
November 21, 2025 at 12:52 AM
So what exactly happens when you reach the 19th hour and you're wearing an eighteen hour bra?
Reposted by Marl
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s assault with intent to cause bodily harm.
November 21, 2025 at 12:57 AM
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s assault with intent to cause bodily harm.