Tits McDick
@titsmcdick.bsky.social
only the slightest whiff of mental illness. she/her 🏳️🌈
Pinned
Tits McDick
@titsmcdick.bsky.social
· Aug 2
This season of America really sucks.
Reposted by Tits McDick
It is physically and mentally impossible to picture Morgan Freeman as a third grader.
January 26, 2026 at 2:35 PM
It is physically and mentally impossible to picture Morgan Freeman as a third grader.
Reposted by Tits McDick
(boss pulling me aside) I need you to stop saying Lucky whenever anyone calls out sick
January 26, 2026 at 4:40 PM
(boss pulling me aside) I need you to stop saying Lucky whenever anyone calls out sick
Reposted by Tits McDick
They’re fucking with the wrong people.
January 26, 2026 at 5:44 AM
They’re fucking with the wrong people.
I keep hoping I’m going to wake up in bed next to Suzanne Pleshette and this will all have been a bad dream.
January 26, 2026 at 1:36 PM
I keep hoping I’m going to wake up in bed next to Suzanne Pleshette and this will all have been a bad dream.
Reposted by Tits McDick
One time I got caught stealing from a K-Mart and the manager made me suck his dick so I started shoplifting there every day.
January 26, 2026 at 12:45 PM
One time I got caught stealing from a K-Mart and the manager made me suck his dick so I started shoplifting there every day.
Getting a word in edgewise is a lot easier than getting a word out of edgewise.
January 26, 2026 at 12:04 PM
Getting a word in edgewise is a lot easier than getting a word out of edgewise.
Reposted by Tits McDick
I feel pretty good as long as I avoid thinking about anything
January 26, 2026 at 4:57 AM
I feel pretty good as long as I avoid thinking about anything
Reposted by Tits McDick
everyone needs a forehead kiss and chocolate chip cookie
January 26, 2026 at 3:00 AM
everyone needs a forehead kiss and chocolate chip cookie
I have pills for every occasion.
January 26, 2026 at 2:26 AM
I have pills for every occasion.
Reposted by Tits McDick
The best kinds of football games are the ones where nobody moves the ball in a blizzard and 75% of the commentary is the guys saying “these conditions”
January 25, 2026 at 10:46 PM
The best kinds of football games are the ones where nobody moves the ball in a blizzard and 75% of the commentary is the guys saying “these conditions”
Reposted by Tits McDick
Hugh McFuckin
United States, Census, 1840
United States, Census, 1840
January 24, 2026 at 3:27 PM
Hugh McFuckin
United States, Census, 1840
United States, Census, 1840
Reposted by Tits McDick
You’re a dick if you order pizza delivery in a snowstorm
January 25, 2026 at 7:42 PM
You’re a dick if you order pizza delivery in a snowstorm
Reposted by Tits McDick
America is nearing its expiration date. It's starting to smell.
January 25, 2026 at 7:42 PM
America is nearing its expiration date. It's starting to smell.
Reposted by Tits McDick
Alex Jeffrey Pretti was an ICU nurse at a VA hospital. His life, through his profession, was dedicated to serving his community and our country.
As so many have now seen on video, his final act before he was killed by federal agents was doing everything in his power to protect his community.
As so many have now seen on video, his final act before he was killed by federal agents was doing everything in his power to protect his community.
January 24, 2026 at 11:18 PM
Alex Jeffrey Pretti was an ICU nurse at a VA hospital. His life, through his profession, was dedicated to serving his community and our country.
As so many have now seen on video, his final act before he was killed by federal agents was doing everything in his power to protect his community.
As so many have now seen on video, his final act before he was killed by federal agents was doing everything in his power to protect his community.
Reposted by Tits McDick
No you can’t pet my dog. that guy knows all of my secrets.
January 24, 2026 at 11:10 PM
No you can’t pet my dog. that guy knows all of my secrets.
Reposted by Tits McDick
You: It can’t happen to me.
The state: we looked into this white guy we killed and we do feel a need to bring up these parking tickets
The state: we looked into this white guy we killed and we do feel a need to bring up these parking tickets
January 24, 2026 at 7:25 PM
You: It can’t happen to me.
The state: we looked into this white guy we killed and we do feel a need to bring up these parking tickets
The state: we looked into this white guy we killed and we do feel a need to bring up these parking tickets
Reposted by Tits McDick
Somebody tell this country I got my own problems, I can’t attend it’s fucking funeral right now.
January 24, 2026 at 9:26 PM
Somebody tell this country I got my own problems, I can’t attend it’s fucking funeral right now.
Reposted by Tits McDick
people are always asking me professor kiosk why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near and I say to them fools that’s classified no one will ever know the secrets of my cockatoo army
January 24, 2026 at 9:20 AM
people are always asking me professor kiosk why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near and I say to them fools that’s classified no one will ever know the secrets of my cockatoo army
Reposted by Tits McDick
not voting for anyone who isn’t in the streets after this
January 24, 2026 at 4:47 PM
not voting for anyone who isn’t in the streets after this
Reposted by Tits McDick
getting real tired of answering to government violence with marches and petitions
January 24, 2026 at 9:59 PM
getting real tired of answering to government violence with marches and petitions
Reposted by Tits McDick
my dashboard hula girl thinks your fuzzy dice are sexy
January 24, 2026 at 3:41 PM
my dashboard hula girl thinks your fuzzy dice are sexy
I hope I’m having a good hair day when it’s my turn for ICE to murder me.
January 24, 2026 at 9:58 PM
I hope I’m having a good hair day when it’s my turn for ICE to murder me.
Reposted by Tits McDick
There are so many people in this country quietly going about their days doing brilliant and compassionate and beautiful things that will never be documented and I need to remind myself of that today
January 24, 2026 at 9:34 PM
There are so many people in this country quietly going about their days doing brilliant and compassionate and beautiful things that will never be documented and I need to remind myself of that today