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Tits McDick

@titsmcdick.bsky.social

3.6K followers 930 following 1.7K posts

only the slightest whiff of mental illness. she/her 🏳️‍🌈

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Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · Aug 2

This season of America really sucks.

43 170 1.2K

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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 12h

Be the reason they start searching bags for googly eyes at the entrance to your local zoo.

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d.ly @dly.bsky.social · 10h

the only thing that will help is Alexander Skarsgård filling me like an eclair

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Иate @n8tid.bsky.social · Jul 16

They had to invent pain almost immediately after inventing fire because too many men were "just testing it out"

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Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 6h

I’m always eating cock-shaped food. You think that means something?

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Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 6h

Bon appetite!

a group of people are working on a silver car

ALT: a group of people are working on a silver car

media.tenor.com

Reposted by Tits McDick

GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 1d

Dopamine unto others, as you would have others dopamine unto you.

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 9h

Women really be like “I’m sorry for what I said when you made me feel like an unlovable piece of shit”

1 13 72

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Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️ @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 8h

client wants this report “yesterday”

anybody remember where I parked the time machine

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Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 6h

I think it’s funny when people are rude to me and then act surprised when they wake up in the trunk of my car.

2 16 42

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ash @ashhull.bsky.social · 7h

Might just start replying to my own posts you're lame.

3 23 56

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teq @quilling.dev · 8h

my stalkers are starting to feel bad for me

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spleenly @spleenly.bsky.social · 11h

I just hope you see a little bit of yourself in my posts and scream.

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Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 17h

I never said I hated you. I just wondered aloud if it was too late for your mother to get an abortion.

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Los 🥑 @los-los.bsky.social · 1d

I only hand out black licorice for Halloween. This may be the year I won’t have to get up from the couch

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strawbaby jam @strawbbfields4ever.bsky.social · 1d

always remember who was there for you at your lowest. thank you cigarettes

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James Damron @runswindows95.bsky.social · 1d

Missouri might be "The Show Me State", but they're very strict about public nudity.

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Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · Jun 8

I don’t usually get political, but let’s face it…ICE is a terrorist organization.

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Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 1d

I don’t mean to brag, but people can tell by looking at me that I’m not doing well financially.

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Melanie D’Arrigo @darrigomelanie.bsky.social · 1d

I feel like this photo of masked, armed men pepper spraying a pastor protecting his community is going to be a defining picture of this moment in America for a long, long time.

1.7K 21K 55K

Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 1d

Casper, the lactose intolerant ghost.

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Murderously Matt 🎃 @momentarilymatt.bsky.social · May 26

Me: Alexa, fix me.

Alexa: I'm sorry, you are a desicated husk of something that once resembled a human being. You can only be fixed by renewing your Amazon Prime subscription. Would you like me to renew your subscription? Make a gurgling sound if you agree to our new terms and conditions.

20 51

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 2d

We’ve located our two adorably disorderly drunks.

The bait worked.

Two quote skeets stating ‘This is about me,’ to the same original post of Drunk and disorderly, but in an adorable way (which was written in typically brilliant fashion, by one of the greatest minds ever to grace the dumpster behind the 7-Eleven).

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Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 1d

Eat like no one is watching.

*devours a slab of bacon*

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Tits McDick @titsmcdick.bsky.social · 1d

The Children of the Corn are old enough to be the Retirees of the Corn.

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Jack Boot @jackboot.bsky.social · 2d

If you're performing standup for ghosts and the audience starts shouting, "Boo! Boooo!" don't panic. You're killing.

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