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Forrest Plump

@nahyoudoit.bsky.social

17K followers 1.3K following 8.6K posts

Empty inside, full-figured outside ⓘ this user is a jerk new: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:gyuvrzxt4plzvqybm7wx3ruj/feed/aaamud5ttv42u bangerz: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:gyuvrzxt4plzvqybm7wx3ruj/feed/aaahlwql5hajy

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 1d

Did it hurt?

When you ordered Chinese for yourself but they included 3 forks and fortune cookies?

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 13m

@shitpostsintiaras.bsky.social

Reposted by Forrest Plump

trickyNOtreat 🎃 @trickykat.bsky.social · 2d

three skeets in a row without a banger is a poster's strikeout

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Reposted by Forrest Plump

Los 🥑 @los-los.bsky.social · 1d

[making another hole in my belt]

You are beautiful, no matter what they saaay

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Reposted by Forrest Plump

grilled cheese 🧀 @grilldcheese.bsky.social · 1d

38 years ago Bono claimed he can't live with or without you, and yet...

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Reposted by Forrest Plump

Phantom Deeks 🫶 @deeks549.bsky.social · 1d

I think we should see other avi's

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 1h

Maybe. I’ve been trying hard to do things differently but the me today isn’t the same as me yesterday

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 1h

Women really be like “I’m sorry for what I said when you made me feel like an unlovable piece of shit”

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Reposted by Forrest Plump

Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 14d

you’re never more than 10 feet away from someone texting “lol” with a completely expressionless face

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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 7d

Dr: You need to quit drinking
me: like on weekends
Dr: No, everyday
me: weekdays
Dr: Everyday
me: what days
Dr: Every
me: please be more specific

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 1h

I don’t know. I don’t really care. I’m not looking to be accurate. I’m just looking for a fast-forward button.

Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 2h

Who Am I Kidding: a memoir

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Reposted by Forrest Plump

Kellaweena 🎃 @kellalena.bsky.social · 2h

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, [in my best Karen Carpenter voice] “We’ve only just begun”

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 2h

*jumps up on a table at the morgue* give me a double

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 2h

JUDGE: are you both sure there’s nothing that could save your marriage?

ME: your honor, he asked me “what has 9 arms and sucks?”

JUDGE: so what was the answer?

ME: Def Leppard

JUDGE: jfc what an asshole I declare this marriage dissolved

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 16h

It’s my pleasure, truly

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 16h

Ohhhhh I’m a slut for shrimp chips/prawn crackers

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 16h

HOLY SHIT 😆😆😆
THE GUFF I FAWED

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Reposted by Forrest Plump

Nichole Hiltz @nicholehiltz.bsky.social · 16h

Me: He has a wife

My therapist Forrest Plump, PhD: You should put the head of a dead horse in his car.

Me:
Put his wife in his car
~ Me as a therapist
@crapaport.bsky.social

Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 19h

*hands over a rock* here. Throw this through their window. It’ll help.

- me, as a therapist