Uncle Duke
@uncleduke1969.bsky.social
Does this look infected?
Just My Nonsense:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2cz6x3e7thlqjc5cxa2hnbsn/feed/aaab3yqtmpox2
My Least Worst:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2cz6x3e7thlqjc5cxa2hnbsn/feed/aaadpxkw36ag6
Just My Nonsense:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2cz6x3e7thlqjc5cxa2hnbsn/feed/aaab3yqtmpox2
My Least Worst:
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:2cz6x3e7thlqjc5cxa2hnbsn/feed/aaadpxkw36ag6
Pinned
Years ago, I worked for a company that sold sandwiches in airports. I once got a complaint email that someone’s chicken cordon bleu sandwich was missing the chicken. I replied that “cordon bleu” was French for “not there,” and I have not felt that level of job satisfaction since.
December 16, 2025 at 1:37 AM
Years ago, I worked for a company that sold sandwiches in airports. I once got a complaint email that someone’s chicken cordon bleu sandwich was missing the chicken. I replied that “cordon bleu” was French for “not there,” and I have not felt that level of job satisfaction since.
Reposted by Uncle Duke
My English professor knocked my grade because he says I use a/an improperly. What a nasshole.
December 15, 2025 at 2:45 PM
My English professor knocked my grade because he says I use a/an improperly. What a nasshole.
Reposted by Uncle Duke
There are many things I like about winter, the holiday lights and cosy fires, hot cocoa and making snow angels, but my favourite of all is how I can see my breath escaping my lips.
It lets me I know I’m not dead yet.
It lets me I know I’m not dead yet.
December 15, 2025 at 2:51 PM
There are many things I like about winter, the holiday lights and cosy fires, hot cocoa and making snow angels, but my favourite of all is how I can see my breath escaping my lips.
It lets me I know I’m not dead yet.
It lets me I know I’m not dead yet.
Reposted by Uncle Duke
I'm afraid I'll never understand string theory or people.
December 15, 2025 at 7:16 PM
I'm afraid I'll never understand string theory or people.
Reposted by Uncle Duke
Phlegm is a gross word, right? Anyway, that'll dab right off sorry
December 15, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Phlegm is a gross word, right? Anyway, that'll dab right off sorry
Reposted by Uncle Duke
I’m going to surprise my wife with a gym membership for Christmas. This is a good plan with no possible downside.
December 15, 2025 at 11:49 PM
I’m going to surprise my wife with a gym membership for Christmas. This is a good plan with no possible downside.
“Whatcha lookin’ at, Morris?”
“Not a fucking thing, Walter.”
“Not a fucking thing, Walter.”
December 15, 2025 at 1:58 PM
“Whatcha lookin’ at, Morris?”
“Not a fucking thing, Walter.”
“Not a fucking thing, Walter.”
Reposted by Uncle Duke
My wife handed me a clean towel and asked me to “put it in its place.” So, I looked at it and said, “Don’t forget that you’re only a towel,” and I was reminded yet again of just how lucky this woman was to be married to me.
December 14, 2025 at 2:07 PM
My wife handed me a clean towel and asked me to “put it in its place.” So, I looked at it and said, “Don’t forget that you’re only a towel,” and I was reminded yet again of just how lucky this woman was to be married to me.
Reposted by Uncle Duke
“Bambi? Yeah, I know Bambi. Great guy. Fuckin’ shame what happened to his mom. Crap, I’m sorry. You can bleep that out, right?”
December 14, 2025 at 4:20 PM
“Bambi? Yeah, I know Bambi. Great guy. Fuckin’ shame what happened to his mom. Crap, I’m sorry. You can bleep that out, right?”
Reposted by Uncle Duke
The joy one feels whilst eating the penultimate pancake, knowing that there is yet another to come, is balanced in equal measure by the despair at the realization that there is but one more remaining.
December 14, 2025 at 11:32 PM
The joy one feels whilst eating the penultimate pancake, knowing that there is yet another to come, is balanced in equal measure by the despair at the realization that there is but one more remaining.
Reposted by Uncle Duke
In some directions walking backwards is not only unencouraged but smiled upon. I do it as a way to undo things, and to get wound. Like crazy eyes to do it all again
December 15, 2025 at 5:46 AM
In some directions walking backwards is not only unencouraged but smiled upon. I do it as a way to undo things, and to get wound. Like crazy eyes to do it all again
Reposted by Uncle Duke
[on the phone] oh yes enough chopsticks for four people
*winks at the cats*
*winks at the cats*
December 15, 2025 at 5:23 AM
[on the phone] oh yes enough chopsticks for four people
*winks at the cats*
*winks at the cats*
Reposted by Uncle Duke
Asked mom if she’d seen The Fantastic 4 and she said “Oh yes, Ringo was my favorite.”
December 14, 2025 at 2:54 PM
Asked mom if she’d seen The Fantastic 4 and she said “Oh yes, Ringo was my favorite.”
Reposted by Uncle Duke
honestly sometimes i wish the plot would thin a little
December 14, 2025 at 3:01 AM
honestly sometimes i wish the plot would thin a little
Reposted by Uncle Duke
Paul Simon’s “Late in the Evening” is my favorite song about things that happen long after I’m in bed.
December 14, 2025 at 2:42 PM
Paul Simon’s “Late in the Evening” is my favorite song about things that happen long after I’m in bed.
Reposted by Uncle Duke
"Good evening."
"That's where you're wrong."
"That's where you're wrong."
December 14, 2025 at 7:36 PM
"Good evening."
"That's where you're wrong."
"That's where you're wrong."
Reposted by Uncle Duke
This day in history. 1098. Crusaders captured Maarat Syria cannibalizing the residents because why go abroad if you're not going to try new things.
December 15, 2023 at 10:26 AM
This day in history. 1098. Crusaders captured Maarat Syria cannibalizing the residents because why go abroad if you're not going to try new things.
Reposted by Uncle Duke
Please. I’m not a hypocrite. It’s just that my prior convictions became so inconvenient. You understand.
August 26, 2025 at 8:12 AM
Please. I’m not a hypocrite. It’s just that my prior convictions became so inconvenient. You understand.
The joy one feels whilst eating the penultimate pancake, knowing that there is yet another to come, is balanced in equal measure by the despair at the realization that there is but one more remaining.
December 14, 2025 at 11:32 PM
The joy one feels whilst eating the penultimate pancake, knowing that there is yet another to come, is balanced in equal measure by the despair at the realization that there is but one more remaining.
“Bambi? Yeah, I know Bambi. Great guy. Fuckin’ shame what happened to his mom. Crap, I’m sorry. You can bleep that out, right?”
December 14, 2025 at 4:20 PM
“Bambi? Yeah, I know Bambi. Great guy. Fuckin’ shame what happened to his mom. Crap, I’m sorry. You can bleep that out, right?”
My wife handed me a clean towel and asked me to “put it in its place.” So, I looked at it and said, “Don’t forget that you’re only a towel,” and I was reminded yet again of just how lucky this woman was to be married to me.
December 14, 2025 at 2:07 PM
My wife handed me a clean towel and asked me to “put it in its place.” So, I looked at it and said, “Don’t forget that you’re only a towel,” and I was reminded yet again of just how lucky this woman was to be married to me.
Reposted by Uncle Duke
“Have you brought the list?”
“I have, O Great One.”
“Has it been checked twice?”
“Of course, sir”
“Excellent.”
“Do you require anything further?”
“Bring me an elf, I’m famished.”
“I have, O Great One.”
“Has it been checked twice?”
“Of course, sir”
“Excellent.”
“Do you require anything further?”
“Bring me an elf, I’m famished.”
December 13, 2025 at 2:09 PM
“Have you brought the list?”
“I have, O Great One.”
“Has it been checked twice?”
“Of course, sir”
“Excellent.”
“Do you require anything further?”
“Bring me an elf, I’m famished.”
“I have, O Great One.”
“Has it been checked twice?”
“Of course, sir”
“Excellent.”
“Do you require anything further?”
“Bring me an elf, I’m famished.”
Reposted by Uncle Duke
♫ He shouldn’t have run
♫ He shouldn’t have tried
♫ They found coke in the sleigh
♫ And an old forty-five
♫ Santa Claus is going downtown
♫ He shouldn’t have tried
♫ They found coke in the sleigh
♫ And an old forty-five
♫ Santa Claus is going downtown
December 13, 2025 at 4:25 PM
♫ He shouldn’t have run
♫ He shouldn’t have tried
♫ They found coke in the sleigh
♫ And an old forty-five
♫ Santa Claus is going downtown
♫ He shouldn’t have tried
♫ They found coke in the sleigh
♫ And an old forty-five
♫ Santa Claus is going downtown
Reposted by Uncle Duke
sometimes I think about stores and the fragrance they put in the air that has been proven to make us want to buy things and then I forget how to breathe but anyway happy holidays to you too
December 13, 2025 at 2:40 PM
sometimes I think about stores and the fragrance they put in the air that has been proven to make us want to buy things and then I forget how to breathe but anyway happy holidays to you too
Reposted by Uncle Duke
This little light of mine, I need to change the bulb.
December 13, 2025 at 3:50 AM
This little light of mine, I need to change the bulb.