Jack Boot
@jackboot.bsky.social
Some rando. I shall occasionally be reposting my old crap from the other place. If that's gauche, sue me. I only have so many thoughts.
My thingy-doos: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:x7c6xlcylaorwzbms2xlzjpf/feed/aaacjsujdyxeu
My thingy-doos: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:x7c6xlcylaorwzbms2xlzjpf/feed/aaacjsujdyxeu
Pinned
Jack Boot
@jackboot.bsky.social
· Dec 28
I love living on a cul-de-sac. It's so French. When I see Bobby on the other side of the cul-de-sac sitting on the edge of his front yard trampoline, cleaning his ears with his car keys, well, I feel like a citizen of the world.
Reposted by Jack Boot
It should cost money to send people videos that are longer than 30 seconds
January 9, 2026 at 4:51 PM
It should cost money to send people videos that are longer than 30 seconds
Reposted by Jack Boot
I hope the other gentleman, who was also using a cane while we crossed the street, didn't think we were in a race. However, I also hope he knows I won.
January 9, 2026 at 5:59 PM
I hope the other gentleman, who was also using a cane while we crossed the street, didn't think we were in a race. However, I also hope he knows I won.
Reposted by Jack Boot
When I’m gone? People don’t remember me now.
December 29, 2025 at 9:10 PM
When I’m gone? People don’t remember me now.
Reposted by Jack Boot
Look, I’m no economist, nor do I play one on TV. More things I’m not and don’t play on TV as they develop.
December 30, 2025 at 2:58 PM
Look, I’m no economist, nor do I play one on TV. More things I’m not and don’t play on TV as they develop.
Reposted by Jack Boot
If face-lifts give you that lean-and-startled look, Ozempic-face suggests you've seen the full eldritch horror.
January 2, 2026 at 7:57 AM
If face-lifts give you that lean-and-startled look, Ozempic-face suggests you've seen the full eldritch horror.
Reposted by Jack Boot
After work I do not walk to my car, I slink in the parking garage and descend to its depths, never overground estimate me
January 2, 2026 at 9:53 PM
After work I do not walk to my car, I slink in the parking garage and descend to its depths, never overground estimate me
Reposted by Jack Boot
Teach your child to swim, as someday they might be required to post through their tears.
January 5, 2026 at 1:30 AM
Teach your child to swim, as someday they might be required to post through their tears.
Childhood memories that seemed normal at the time but now... WTF? If you were a kid in the 70s or 80s, did your school cafeteria melt Red Hots cinnamon candies into your applesauce?
January 8, 2026 at 1:06 AM
Childhood memories that seemed normal at the time but now... WTF? If you were a kid in the 70s or 80s, did your school cafeteria melt Red Hots cinnamon candies into your applesauce?
Dairy Cow: What the hell is that noise? It never stops! Who is ringing that f*cking bell?!
January 6, 2026 at 7:10 PM
Dairy Cow: What the hell is that noise? It never stops! Who is ringing that f*cking bell?!
Reposted by Jack Boot
She said, "Your skin is your biggest organ."
I said with a wink, "Well, maybe YOUR skin is your biggest organ."
Anyway, she's been in the ladies' room for like an hour and I'm starving.
I said with a wink, "Well, maybe YOUR skin is your biggest organ."
Anyway, she's been in the ladies' room for like an hour and I'm starving.
November 2, 2025 at 12:54 AM
She said, "Your skin is your biggest organ."
I said with a wink, "Well, maybe YOUR skin is your biggest organ."
Anyway, she's been in the ladies' room for like an hour and I'm starving.
I said with a wink, "Well, maybe YOUR skin is your biggest organ."
Anyway, she's been in the ladies' room for like an hour and I'm starving.
Reposted by Jack Boot
I don't usually complain about the way people decorate their cubicles, Tina, but you should know, my entire family was killed by a dachshund.
November 20, 2023 at 5:26 AM
I don't usually complain about the way people decorate their cubicles, Tina, but you should know, my entire family was killed by a dachshund.
Reposted by Jack Boot
I'm not a liar. I have an English degree. I'm an unreliable narrator.
November 26, 2024 at 5:29 AM
I'm not a liar. I have an English degree. I'm an unreliable narrator.
Reposted by Jack Boot
I love living on a cul-de-sac. It's so French. When I see Bobby on the other side of the cul-de-sac sitting on the edge of his front yard trampoline, cleaning his ears with his car keys, well, I feel like a citizen of the world.
December 28, 2024 at 11:17 PM
I love living on a cul-de-sac. It's so French. When I see Bobby on the other side of the cul-de-sac sitting on the edge of his front yard trampoline, cleaning his ears with his car keys, well, I feel like a citizen of the world.
I tell young men, "You're not ready to be in a relationship with a woman. You need practice. Get a cat."
January 5, 2026 at 8:16 PM
I tell young men, "You're not ready to be in a relationship with a woman. You need practice. Get a cat."
Reposted by Jack Boot
THIS TIMELINE WAS NOT MEANT TO BE AN INSTRUCTION MANUAL, YOU ABSOLUTE BUFFOONS.
January 3, 2026 at 11:23 PM
THIS TIMELINE WAS NOT MEANT TO BE AN INSTRUCTION MANUAL, YOU ABSOLUTE BUFFOONS.
Reposted by Jack Boot
We just finished a year, do we really have to start a new one?
January 1, 2026 at 2:37 AM
We just finished a year, do we really have to start a new one?
Reposted by Jack Boot
"Kites tied to the arms of the gesturing at everything!" I cry lightly as I leap to battle the air between the roof and the sideyard
January 3, 2026 at 7:33 PM
"Kites tied to the arms of the gesturing at everything!" I cry lightly as I leap to battle the air between the roof and the sideyard
Reposted by Jack Boot
Even though she says she doesn't mind, it's always a bit embarrassing when your partner walks in when you're in a bathtub full of refried beans
December 13, 2025 at 10:59 PM
Even though she says she doesn't mind, it's always a bit embarrassing when your partner walks in when you're in a bathtub full of refried beans
Reposted by Jack Boot
Why are stupid people also the loudest
December 28, 2025 at 2:41 AM
Why are stupid people also the loudest
Reposted by Jack Boot
Maybe think of me whenever you see an asterisk.
November 24, 2025 at 2:46 AM
Maybe think of me whenever you see an asterisk.
Reposted by Jack Boot
doctor: do you wake at night to pee?
me: what's the alternative?
me: what's the alternative?
December 13, 2025 at 5:24 AM
doctor: do you wake at night to pee?
me: what's the alternative?
me: what's the alternative?
Reposted by Jack Boot
When I look at my kids, I think, enjoy your eyebrows.
December 24, 2025 at 4:20 AM
When I look at my kids, I think, enjoy your eyebrows.
I don't want to walk down YOUR memory lane; I want to walk down MY memory lane. Yours is boring. My god, how did you stand it?
January 4, 2026 at 4:46 AM
I don't want to walk down YOUR memory lane; I want to walk down MY memory lane. Yours is boring. My god, how did you stand it?
Reposted by Jack Boot
It's 2026 and I am still writing checks.
January 1, 2026 at 6:02 PM
It's 2026 and I am still writing checks.
Reposted by Jack Boot
Math is easy; aftermath is hard
August 11, 2025 at 11:34 PM
Math is easy; aftermath is hard