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Midge

@midge.bsky.social

10K followers 860 following 920 posts

Relentless architect of my own hell https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ekcbouwwcir2eexututpjpp5/feed/aaaouhaovrikw

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Midge @midge.bsky.social · Jul 1

Stages of life:
1. Birth
2. You gotta be fucking kidding me
3. Death

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Midge @midge.bsky.social · 11h

People over 40 watching birds at the bird feeder

Picture of a crowd going wild with enthusiasm

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Midge @midge.bsky.social · 2h

Beautiful!

Midge @midge.bsky.social · 11h

People over 40 watching birds at the bird feeder

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midnightviolets.bsky.social @midnightviolets.bsky.social · 1d

why are there threesomes only for sex, why can’t I join in a couples argument if I want to

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born miserable @bornmiserable.bsky.social · 1d

STEPHEN MILLER: mark my words. terrorists will not reduce our great nation to ashes. we are ready, swords unsheathed, staring evil directly in the face as we reclaim what is rightfully ours

[camera cuts to man dressed as Dino from the Flintstones spanking a giant teddy bear with a rainbow dildo]

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Stace Fiction @girlawhirl.bsky.social · 3d

I haven’t been the same since I found out that owning your own home was the adult equivalent to being grounded.

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 1d

“Supercuts?”
“How’d ya know?”

A person sits on a fence holding a container of food, looking back at a dark-colored alpaca. They and the alpaca sport similar haircuts.

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Candy Elliott @sixfootcandy.bsky.social · Aug 20

My signature move is writing “please see attached” and then confidently hitting send with absolutely nothing attached.

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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · Aug 21

I always knew I would end up on my own like Carrie Bradshaw, single in heels

My husband: Hey, I am not dead yet!

Me: Oh, that reminds me, I got you a Peloton

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mom mom mom mom mom @momsoverhere.bsky.social · 25d

My kid buys a toy vending machine and exclaims “it doesn’t take any money!” and then mutters “that’s not a very good business model.”

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One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom.bsky.social · 21d

‘Mommy look, a bone! Just like we have in our bodies.’

-my 4 year old eating fried chicken and dangerously close to connecting some dots.

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Nate's Myth @natesmith.dev · 21d

Cranada. like Canada but a little more tart.

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Adam @adamgreat.bsky.social · 21d

american democracy right now

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mom mom mom mom mom @momsoverhere.bsky.social · 16d

I warned my son that he could not say “I’m bored” during Rosh Hashanah services today. About ten minutes in, he leaned on my shoulder and whispers “I’m un-entertained”

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 11d

It's beautiful watching a teen remember who they were before a phone. Like a wet, newborn foal stumbling into the living room-knock kneed and bumbling.