Midge
@midge.bsky.social
Relentless architect of my own hell
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ekcbouwwcir2eexututpjpp5/feed/aaaouhaovrikw
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ekcbouwwcir2eexututpjpp5/feed/aaaouhaovrikw
Pinned
Midge
@midge.bsky.social
· Jul 1
Stages of life:
1. Birth
2. You gotta be fucking kidding me
3. Death
1. Birth
2. You gotta be fucking kidding me
3. Death
Reposted by Midge
it’s all downhill once you get bumped up from the kid’s table at thanksgiving
November 24, 2025 at 2:53 PM
it’s all downhill once you get bumped up from the kid’s table at thanksgiving
it’s all downhill once you get bumped up from the kid’s table at thanksgiving
November 24, 2025 at 2:53 PM
it’s all downhill once you get bumped up from the kid’s table at thanksgiving
Reposted by Midge
PAVLOV: thank you for watching my dog! did they drool a lot?
SCHRÖDINGER: yes and no
SCHRÖDINGER: yes and no
November 21, 2025 at 9:14 PM
PAVLOV: thank you for watching my dog! did they drool a lot?
SCHRÖDINGER: yes and no
SCHRÖDINGER: yes and no
Reposted by Midge
When calligraphers get mad they send strongly lettered words
November 24, 2025 at 5:31 AM
When calligraphers get mad they send strongly lettered words
Reposted by Midge
Having just been through the desert carrying a guy with no name, it felt good to get out of the rain.
November 24, 2025 at 2:17 PM
Having just been through the desert carrying a guy with no name, it felt good to get out of the rain.
Reposted by Midge
"girls have it so easy. just make an OF and show ur titties"
- guy who has no idea what marketing is and how much effort it takes even when you're pretty
- guy who has no idea what marketing is and how much effort it takes even when you're pretty
November 23, 2025 at 4:37 PM
"girls have it so easy. just make an OF and show ur titties"
- guy who has no idea what marketing is and how much effort it takes even when you're pretty
- guy who has no idea what marketing is and how much effort it takes even when you're pretty
Reposted by Midge
my dad about to tell a funny story that isn’t nearly as funny as he thinks it is
November 23, 2025 at 10:44 PM
my dad about to tell a funny story that isn’t nearly as funny as he thinks it is
Reposted by Midge
My friend just fuckin showed up with a corncob pipe & that’s when it hit me that we are all in our 40s which means we get one new accessory slot
November 23, 2025 at 9:11 PM
My friend just fuckin showed up with a corncob pipe & that’s when it hit me that we are all in our 40s which means we get one new accessory slot
Reposted by Midge
“we need to be nicer to men” bro they didn’t let women have their own credit cards til 50 years ago
November 23, 2025 at 10:39 PM
“we need to be nicer to men” bro they didn’t let women have their own credit cards til 50 years ago
Reposted by Midge
What in the festive fuck
November 18, 2025 at 12:49 AM
What in the festive fuck
Reposted by Midge
Just leave the door open, nothing matters anymore
November 10, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Just leave the door open, nothing matters anymore
Reposted by Midge
There should be a lot more hairstyles for dogs
November 21, 2025 at 6:32 PM
There should be a lot more hairstyles for dogs
Reposted by Midge
Doctor: you’re going to feel some pressure, ready?
Me: yes
Doctor: your parents are prouder of your sister than you
Me: yes
Doctor: your parents are prouder of your sister than you
November 21, 2025 at 3:08 PM
Doctor: you’re going to feel some pressure, ready?
Me: yes
Doctor: your parents are prouder of your sister than you
Me: yes
Doctor: your parents are prouder of your sister than you
Doctor: you’re going to feel some pressure, ready?
Me: yes
Doctor: your parents are prouder of your sister than you
Me: yes
Doctor: your parents are prouder of your sister than you
November 21, 2025 at 3:08 PM
Doctor: you’re going to feel some pressure, ready?
Me: yes
Doctor: your parents are prouder of your sister than you
Me: yes
Doctor: your parents are prouder of your sister than you
Reposted by Midge
Before I got married, I never realized you could sneeze like an asshole
November 20, 2025 at 3:49 AM
Before I got married, I never realized you could sneeze like an asshole
Reposted by Midge
“How much do you weigh? Ever cheated on your significant other? How much money do you make?”
-Way Too Personal Pan Pizza
-Way Too Personal Pan Pizza
November 18, 2025 at 7:51 PM
“How much do you weigh? Ever cheated on your significant other? How much money do you make?”
-Way Too Personal Pan Pizza
-Way Too Personal Pan Pizza
Reposted by Midge
No one in this ball pit is taking me seriously.
November 18, 2025 at 7:14 PM
No one in this ball pit is taking me seriously.
Reposted by Midge
An advent calendar but with street drugs
December 2, 2023 at 12:47 AM
An advent calendar but with street drugs
Reposted by Midge
me: I thought said to keep your hands to yourself
son: I did
me: then why is your sister crying?
son: I kicked her
son: I did
me: then why is your sister crying?
son: I kicked her
November 18, 2025 at 10:00 PM
me: I thought said to keep your hands to yourself
son: I did
me: then why is your sister crying?
son: I kicked her
son: I did
me: then why is your sister crying?
son: I kicked her
Reposted by Midge
There have always been trans people.
There will always be trans people.
The only "trans agenda" is to live authentically.
Removing trans rights, banning trans people from sports, taking away care for trans people puts you on the wrong side of history.
Trans rights are human rights 🩵💗🤍
There will always be trans people.
The only "trans agenda" is to live authentically.
Removing trans rights, banning trans people from sports, taking away care for trans people puts you on the wrong side of history.
Trans rights are human rights 🩵💗🤍
September 21, 2025 at 4:41 AM
There have always been trans people.
There will always be trans people.
The only "trans agenda" is to live authentically.
Removing trans rights, banning trans people from sports, taking away care for trans people puts you on the wrong side of history.
Trans rights are human rights 🩵💗🤍
There will always be trans people.
The only "trans agenda" is to live authentically.
Removing trans rights, banning trans people from sports, taking away care for trans people puts you on the wrong side of history.
Trans rights are human rights 🩵💗🤍
Reposted by Midge
When one of you deactivates I imagine you being taken off stage with one of those big canes
November 15, 2025 at 2:39 PM
When one of you deactivates I imagine you being taken off stage with one of those big canes
Reposted by Midge
“Men only want one thing.”
Not true. There’s like three things.
Not true. There’s like three things.
November 19, 2025 at 1:39 AM
“Men only want one thing.”
Not true. There’s like three things.
Not true. There’s like three things.
Reposted by Midge
I wonder how many people die each year as a result of lifeguards running in slow motion
December 2, 2024 at 12:45 AM
I wonder how many people die each year as a result of lifeguards running in slow motion
Reposted by Midge
If sexuality was a choice, then explain heterosexual women
November 19, 2025 at 3:12 AM
If sexuality was a choice, then explain heterosexual women
Reposted by Midge
Palm trees are beautiful but you wouldn’t want one on your team in a rap battle, they're absolutely useless at throwing shade.
December 18, 2024 at 7:44 PM
Palm trees are beautiful but you wouldn’t want one on your team in a rap battle, they're absolutely useless at throwing shade.