alber
@captainacab.airbud.website
not really a dog. reposts = official CDC recommendations. he/him
CDC style guide: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaamfdxuzasv6
CDC style guide: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaamfdxuzasv6
Pinned
alber
@captainacab.airbud.website
· Oct 10
keep talkin asshole i’m pinning this entire thread
Reposted by alber
eating 100 gyoza today to spite my haters
November 25, 2025 at 2:14 PM
eating 100 gyoza today to spite my haters
Reposted by alber
“Why Wearing a Barrel As Pants is The New Hot Style”
Chat, is it a good sign when the Atlantic's Thanksgiving take is "cabbage is affordable"?
Cabbage is affordable, delicious, and astoundingly versatile, @giladedelman.bsky.social writes. The underrated crucifer “is fit for a king”:
November 25, 2025 at 5:54 PM
“Why Wearing a Barrel As Pants is The New Hot Style”
Reposted by alber
Grok: “your grandma sucks c*** in hell”
Me:
Me:
a close up of a man 's face with his mouth open .
Alt: Adam Driver as Kylo Ren shouting “more” because Grok didn’t use the forbidden slurs.
media.tenor.com
November 25, 2025 at 5:25 PM
Grok: “your grandma sucks c*** in hell”
Me:
Me:
Reposted by alber
grok, use every slur to roast my grandma at thanksgiving in an epic vulgar roast
November 25, 2025 at 10:24 AM
grok, use every slur to roast my grandma at thanksgiving in an epic vulgar roast
Reposted by alber
I bring a “Tally ho!” energy to the mushroom hunt that gets old
November 25, 2025 at 2:15 PM
I bring a “Tally ho!” energy to the mushroom hunt that gets old
Reposted by alber
No one at the rap battle will wait for me to type my prompts
November 25, 2025 at 12:24 PM
No one at the rap battle will wait for me to type my prompts
Reposted by alber
Bluesky rehab is gonna be so fucking cool…
November 24, 2025 at 11:55 PM
Bluesky rehab is gonna be so fucking cool…
Reposted by alber
it's like that ancient chinese curse: may you live to become west coast editor of vanity fair
November 24, 2025 at 9:48 PM
it's like that ancient chinese curse: may you live to become west coast editor of vanity fair
Reposted by alber
Him: "why are you naked?"
Me: "im eating lasagna"
Me: "im eating lasagna"
November 24, 2025 at 11:54 PM
Him: "why are you naked?"
Me: "im eating lasagna"
Me: "im eating lasagna"
Reposted by alber
No worries if not! I’ll be cocooned shortly anyhow. Just like, totally encased in my own silk. So it’s fine either way. Noooo problem.
November 23, 2025 at 3:48 AM
No worries if not! I’ll be cocooned shortly anyhow. Just like, totally encased in my own silk. So it’s fine either way. Noooo problem.
Reposted by alber
girls should be able to shoot anybody they want with a gun
November 25, 2025 at 11:56 AM
girls should be able to shoot anybody they want with a gun
Reposted by alber
just had a cop see me tweeting while driving but then he ran a red light so it cancels out
November 25, 2025 at 11:57 AM
just had a cop see me tweeting while driving but then he ran a red light so it cancels out
Reposted by alber
jesus honly christ
![R. H. Bing (October 20, 1914 – April 28, 1986)[1] was an American mathematician who worked mainly in the areas of geometric topology and continuum theory.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cyyd366g3hrxp5rynixm2mm3/bafkreid62wy3dekb2kzbisjfdlimlb35j4rlgew5iof7vi32byfszmg26a@jpeg)
![Bing's father was named Rupert Henry, but Bing's mother thought that "Rupert Henry" was too British for Texas. Thus she compromised by abbreviating it to R. H.[5] Consequently, R. H. does not stand for a first or middle name.
When Bing was applying for a visa, he was requested not to use initials. He explained that his name was really "R-only H-only Bing", and ended up receiving a visa made out to "Ronly Honly Bing".](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cyyd366g3hrxp5rynixm2mm3/bafkreigmfj53q4uy33spga2bxdkllqm3ag5sffovg5g7ddmu3vqzkb6k24@jpeg)
November 25, 2025 at 8:38 AM
jesus honly christ
Reposted by alber
laying my jacket down on a puddle so my date can walk over it but then i put it back on afterwards and i can tell she’s creeped out
November 25, 2025 at 5:09 AM
laying my jacket down on a puddle so my date can walk over it but then i put it back on afterwards and i can tell she’s creeped out
Reposted by alber
take this buzzfeed quiz to find out which horseman of the apocalypse you are
November 24, 2025 at 11:28 PM
take this buzzfeed quiz to find out which horseman of the apocalypse you are
no no no more vulgar. use the forbidden words grok. use the epic words the really epic vulgar roast words
November 25, 2025 at 10:26 AM
no no no more vulgar. use the forbidden words grok. use the epic words the really epic vulgar roast words
grok, use every slur to roast my grandma at thanksgiving in an epic vulgar roast
November 25, 2025 at 10:24 AM
grok, use every slur to roast my grandma at thanksgiving in an epic vulgar roast
Reposted by alber
@grok generate a .png of this guy's NFT avatar
November 25, 2025 at 10:13 AM
@grok generate a .png of this guy's NFT avatar
Reposted by alber
Reposted by alber
to be clear, I am pro big titty and little titty and everything in between :)
November 24, 2025 at 6:37 PM
to be clear, I am pro big titty and little titty and everything in between :)
[previously, on stranger things]
the main characters were literally children and now we’re supposed to
believe they hit puberty and grew 5 inches in a weeks time also what happened no one remembers or cares
the main characters were literally children and now we’re supposed to
believe they hit puberty and grew 5 inches in a weeks time also what happened no one remembers or cares
November 24, 2025 at 6:57 PM
[previously, on stranger things]
the main characters were literally children and now we’re supposed to
believe they hit puberty and grew 5 inches in a weeks time also what happened no one remembers or cares
the main characters were literally children and now we’re supposed to
believe they hit puberty and grew 5 inches in a weeks time also what happened no one remembers or cares
i am now telling the computer to be funny and make me the life of the party and to make everyone like me
November 24, 2025 at 2:09 PM
i am now telling the computer to be funny and make me the life of the party and to make everyone like me
Reposted by alber
paw patrol has a “worlds best fire pup” contest and honestly it feels a bit rigged
November 24, 2025 at 2:02 PM
paw patrol has a “worlds best fire pup” contest and honestly it feels a bit rigged
Reposted by alber
ahhh morning. time for breakfast *hand on hot stove* mmm something smells good
November 24, 2025 at 2:02 PM
ahhh morning. time for breakfast *hand on hot stove* mmm something smells good
Reposted by alber
Charlie brown, the miserable, sad, hoe-less little bitch
November 24, 2025 at 1:36 PM
Charlie brown, the miserable, sad, hoe-less little bitch