alber
@captainacab.airbud.website
not really a dog. reposts = official CDC recommendations. he/him
CDC style guide: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaamfdxuzasv6
CDC style guide: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaamfdxuzasv6
Pinned
alber
@captainacab.airbud.website
· Oct 10
keep talkin asshole i’m pinning this entire thread
Reposted by alber
Sure, yes, I COULD suck a golf ball through a garden hose. But why? To what end? For what purpose???
March 11, 2024 at 1:00 AM
Sure, yes, I COULD suck a golf ball through a garden hose. But why? To what end? For what purpose???
ethiopia burgerchef
January 10, 2026 at 9:14 PM
ethiopia burgerchef
Reposted by alber
anyone wanna smoke clove cigarettes in the Walgreens parking lot?
January 9, 2026 at 4:52 AM
anyone wanna smoke clove cigarettes in the Walgreens parking lot?
Reposted by alber
not sure how you can expect to have any credibility if your response to murder by federal agents is arresting protestors and telling them the police are on their side. the democrats like to think their role is to be a heat sink for liberal and leftist anger but eventually that's gonna stop working
January 10, 2026 at 7:19 PM
not sure how you can expect to have any credibility if your response to murder by federal agents is arresting protestors and telling them the police are on their side. the democrats like to think their role is to be a heat sink for liberal and leftist anger but eventually that's gonna stop working
in america you get arrested for protesting murder… hehe no, the murderers don’t get arrested silly
January 10, 2026 at 7:57 PM
in america you get arrested for protesting murder… hehe no, the murderers don’t get arrested silly
Reposted by alber
do you guys hear that bell tolling? wonder who it’s for. it’s so loud lmao
January 10, 2026 at 3:30 PM
do you guys hear that bell tolling? wonder who it’s for. it’s so loud lmao
Reposted by alber
calling my therapist for an emergency session because I had a sex dream about Aziz Ansari
January 9, 2026 at 7:12 PM
calling my therapist for an emergency session because I had a sex dream about Aziz Ansari
Reposted by alber
okay, i’ll bite… what’s weed and what’s being high like?
January 10, 2026 at 1:38 AM
okay, i’ll bite… what’s weed and what’s being high like?
the only time curt cignetti ever smiled the entire game is when he talked about “cracking open a beer”
January 10, 2026 at 4:11 AM
the only time curt cignetti ever smiled the entire game is when he talked about “cracking open a beer”
Reposted by alber
perusing the ancient artifacts
January 10, 2026 at 1:14 AM
perusing the ancient artifacts
Reposted by alber
Please stop painting realistic pictures of tunnels. The coyotes are getting hurt.
January 7, 2026 at 3:05 PM
Please stop painting realistic pictures of tunnels. The coyotes are getting hurt.
Reposted by alber
Donkeys can run just minutes after being born. Sorry we lost track of them all.
January 9, 2026 at 2:53 PM
Donkeys can run just minutes after being born. Sorry we lost track of them all.
Reposted by alber
My “Hey don’t kill people” brand is really breaking people’s brains it seems
You have a brand. Congratulations!
January 9, 2026 at 11:52 PM
My “Hey don’t kill people” brand is really breaking people’s brains it seems
Reposted by alber
running clock second half?
January 10, 2026 at 1:59 AM
running clock second half?
Reposted by alber
sorry, sir, we unfortunately had to reject your application to ICE. when our questionnaire screener asked if you had ever seen or found the clitoris, you answered “yes, of course” but what we were looking for “what in the hell is that?” no seriously, what in the hell is that?
January 10, 2026 at 12:55 AM
sorry, sir, we unfortunately had to reject your application to ICE. when our questionnaire screener asked if you had ever seen or found the clitoris, you answered “yes, of course” but what we were looking for “what in the hell is that?” no seriously, what in the hell is that?
do they have a “skunk rule” in the college football playoff?
January 10, 2026 at 2:01 AM
do they have a “skunk rule” in the college football playoff?
Reposted by alber
And fuckin’ berduck. That thing made me wanna gouge my eyes out.
January 10, 2026 at 1:47 AM
And fuckin’ berduck. That thing made me wanna gouge my eyes out.
Reposted by alber
a lot of you have no clue i’m like the 12th most prolific poster on linkedin
November 18, 2024 at 3:01 AM
a lot of you have no clue i’m like the 12th most prolific poster on linkedin
Reposted by alber
this is the first thing I saw opening the app and it dealt psychic damage
January 10, 2026 at 1:15 AM
this is the first thing I saw opening the app and it dealt psychic damage
perusing the ancient artifacts
January 10, 2026 at 1:14 AM
perusing the ancient artifacts
sorry, sir, we unfortunately had to reject your application to ICE. when our questionnaire screener asked if you had ever seen or found the clitoris, you answered “yes, of course” but what we were looking for “what in the hell is that?” no seriously, what in the hell is that?
January 10, 2026 at 12:55 AM
sorry, sir, we unfortunately had to reject your application to ICE. when our questionnaire screener asked if you had ever seen or found the clitoris, you answered “yes, of course” but what we were looking for “what in the hell is that?” no seriously, what in the hell is that?
Reposted by alber
Reposted by alber
broke: workplace huddles with important strategic updates
woke: workplace cuddles with relaxing reciprocal backrubs
woke: workplace cuddles with relaxing reciprocal backrubs
January 9, 2026 at 6:15 PM
broke: workplace huddles with important strategic updates
woke: workplace cuddles with relaxing reciprocal backrubs
woke: workplace cuddles with relaxing reciprocal backrubs
Reposted by alber
sleeper agent activation phrase
January 9, 2026 at 5:54 PM
sleeper agent activation phrase
a set of fortunate coincidences
January 9, 2026 at 5:08 PM
a set of fortunate coincidences