alber
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captainacab.airbud.website
alber
@captainacab.airbud.website
not really a dog. reposts = official CDC recommendations. he/him

CDC style guide: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaamfdxuzasv6
Pinned
keep talkin asshole i’m pinning this entire thread
Reposted by alber
40% of Bluesky have been contestants on Jeopardy making us a very smart website but all of them came in third so its not like that impressive
January 9, 2026 at 3:25 AM
Reposted by alber
One thing I would do in Jeopardy is I’d really shine during the ending where everyone huddles up to chat like they’re all friends as the credits roll, but I would use that time to air my grievances
January 9, 2026 at 4:06 AM
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“wanna feel old?” sure brother, i would love to just feel something, anything
January 9, 2026 at 12:47 AM
lane kiffin is in hell
January 9, 2026 at 4:05 AM
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dogs who look too human. like there’s a guy trapped in there
January 9, 2026 at 3:12 AM
DOINK
January 9, 2026 at 3:21 AM
the prophecy
January 9, 2026 at 3:02 AM
Reposted by alber
don't love calling someone a "pussy" when they display cowardice, fear, and weakness, but got damn if ICE isn't made up of 100% pure, grass-fed pussies

riot gear, pepper spray, and guns and y'all STILL afraid of us? what???
January 9, 2026 at 2:01 AM
Reposted by alber
Topo Chico really was like, “what if hydration hurt though???”
October 19, 2024 at 8:32 PM
“wanna feel old?” sure brother, i would love to just feel something, anything
January 9, 2026 at 12:47 AM
Reposted by alber
look at us. hating ice together.
January 9, 2026 at 12:41 AM
[lowering my sniper rifle] oh haha for a second there i thought you were laughing and finding joy. close call,
January 9, 2026 at 12:43 AM
Reposted by alber
reporting indicates that donald trump pooped himself with such force that his puffy ankles folded like cheap cushions as he tumbled head over heels down a flight of steps, spraying diarrhea in great arcs across the wall. his condition is unknown
please be cautious about spreading any news that hasn't been verified
January 8, 2026 at 11:58 PM
we’ve reached the point where it really could happen at any minute. we need to stay vigilant, stay ready, and most importantly, stay online
January 8, 2026 at 11:55 PM
Reposted by alber
Thanks for putting Comedian after your name so I know.
January 8, 2026 at 6:18 PM
Reposted by alber
I just spent 5 mins staring at the gym skylight, which is slightly opaque, trying to figure out what kind of tiny animal was crawling over them only to realize I was seeing the reflection of people below it walking
January 8, 2026 at 10:51 PM
Reposted by alber
If any of these people grew a conscience they’d have to kill themselves for the destruction they’ve caused, so I can see why it’d be appealing not to
January 8, 2026 at 7:57 PM
more like jonathan dross lmao gottem 🤣🤣🤣
January 8, 2026 at 11:23 PM
Reposted by alber
half of new accounts today:

@letskillfederalagents.imnot.acop:

🔅0 Followers 15K Following

"follow me back for great protesting advice. let's post pictures of crimes together!"
January 8, 2026 at 9:33 PM
Reposted by alber
🕯️ 🕯️
🕯️ 🕯️
🕯️ it 🕯️
🕯️ 🕯️
🕯️ 🕯️
August 30, 2025 at 12:32 AM
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replying “ai slop” to all my boss’s emails
January 8, 2026 at 6:26 PM
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the democratic party’s entire political strategy:
January 4, 2026 at 10:54 PM
replying “ai slop” to all my boss’s emails
January 8, 2026 at 6:26 PM
Reposted by alber
January 8, 2026 at 12:08 AM
Reposted by alber
January 8, 2026 at 12:00 AM