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midge.bsky.social
Midge
@midge.bsky.social
10K followers 860 following 920 posts
Relentless architect of my own hell https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ekcbouwwcir2eexututpjpp5/feed/aaaouhaovrikw
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midge.bsky.social
Midge @midge.bsky.social · Jul 1
Stages of life:
1. Birth
2. You gotta be fucking kidding me
3. Death
15 440 1.6K
midge.bsky.social
Midge @midge.bsky.social · 2h
Me too!
midge.bsky.social
Midge @midge.bsky.social · 2h
That’s fair
midge.bsky.social
Midge @midge.bsky.social · 4h
Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU
4 11 48
Reposted by Midge
midge.bsky.social
Midge @midge.bsky.social · 15h
Rider down, I repeat rider down
Photo of a broom that lies riderless in the road
5 57 230
midge.bsky.social
Midge @midge.bsky.social · 15h
Rider down, I repeat rider down
Photo of a broom that lies riderless in the road
5 57 230
Reposted by Midge
midge.bsky.social
Midge @midge.bsky.social · 2d
them: protect your family’s financial future

me: *gently places Splenda packets and Kohl’s coupons in safe deposit box*
5 23 98
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professorkiosk.wtf
🅱️oofessor Killosk 🔪👻 @professorkiosk.wtf · 5d
it was the best of times it was the worcestershire of times
10 38 98
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durtmchurtt.bsky.social
Little Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social · 6d
HER: I’m a genealogist.

ME: that’s crazy, I just finished watching Aladdin.
3 58 300
Reposted by Midge
hellomanders.bsky.social
Amanda @hellomanders.bsky.social · 6d
listen, I worked really hard for this panic attack. the least I can do is see it through.
4 36 120
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brickmahoney.bsky.social
Brick's 𝕳𝖆𝖚𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖉 House 🍁🎃 @brickmahoney.bsky.social · 7d
I just quit a book three pages in when I reached a second misspelling because I expect books to be smarter than me goddammit
17 68 260
Reposted by Midge
marlebean.bsky.social
Marloween @marlebean.bsky.social · 5d
Got fingerprinted for my new job!
They were so nice; the police were even there escorting me. So sweet
3 16 110
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uncleduke1969.bsky.social
Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 7d
no way i’m falling for this a third time
Sign reads “Parking for BJ’s in rear of building.”
27 150 770
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marlebean.bsky.social
Marloween @marlebean.bsky.social · 4d
Working at the bank is:
10% bank transactions
87% helping clients reset their password
40% typing numbers without looking
24% accuracy
8 23 160
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theciscokidder.bsky.social
Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 4d
Welcome to your 50's, here's a starter pack.
A picture of a 3-pack of Pepto Bismol sitting on a table and in front of it is 3 pairs of reading glasses.
28 67 290
Reposted by Midge
mrsfitz.bsky.social
MrsFitz @mrsfitz.bsky.social · Aug 28
The piquant flavor of a breakfast Sauvignon Blanc.
28 75
Reposted by Midge
havishaf.bsky.social
S🌟tella @havishaf.bsky.social · 2d
Oh, you had second thoughts? I'm on season 5 of overthinking and currently hosting a conference with my anxiety.
5 65 160
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identityxcrisis.bsky.social
sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı @identityxcrisis.bsky.social · 25d
Late bloomers? So you mean, like, nighttime underwear?
2 36 110
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stabke.bsky.social
stabke @stabke.bsky.social · 2d
I asked the best way to cook brussel sprouts and I’m getting roasted in the comments
9 55 180
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brickmahoney.bsky.social
Brick's 𝕳𝖆𝖚𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖉 House 🍁🎃 @brickmahoney.bsky.social · 1d
Me: (exists)

Wasp: I have opinions about that
4 64 240
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dadback.bsky.social
I've got a dad back @dadback.bsky.social · 5d
French dudes be like Breaux
1 15 39
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johnlyon.bsky.social
John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 15d
My cat got into the booth with me while I was testing my teleportation device and now there’s cat hair all over my genes.
4 40 98
Reposted by Midge
andrewjweinstein.com
Andrew Weinstein @andrewjweinstein.com · 2d
It really is staggering to see so many people willing to abandon our 249 year experiment in democracy for an increasingly unstable criminally convicted reality show charlatan.
640 4K 16K
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im-all-id.me
andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 2d
Friend: I found your doppelganger

*shows you picture of the worst looking person you've ever seen in your life*
33 170 1.1K
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granttanaka.bsky.social
Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 2d
[giving treats to dog]
thank you for not being people
1 150 450
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sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 2d
if bsky tanks i guess i’ll go back to saying stupid, weird, uncomfortable things to various cashiers and waitstaff
37 160 840