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mrsfitz.bsky.social
MrsFitz
@mrsfitz.bsky.social
1.4K followers 610 following 270 posts
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:oc6tr5qvwwhtehgp4rrlik7z/feed/aaao6dnwwd3rw
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mrsfitz.bsky.social
MrsFitz @mrsfitz.bsky.social · Jan 20
Sorry I said your boyfriend looks like Baron Harkonnen. It was childish & wrong. He's floating right behind me, isn't he?
7 190 570
Reposted by MrsFitz
jimmerthatisall.bsky.social
Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 1d
I don’t talk to myself when I’m alone because I read the room.
35 140
Reposted by MrsFitz
sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 1d
*powdered sugar poofing from my mouth* i don’t know who ate your donuts
17 74 310
Reposted by MrsFitz
sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 1d
i’m sorry i watched your toddler for an hour and now she won’t stop singing landslide
9 48 220
Reposted by MrsFitz
granttanaka.bsky.social
Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 1d
they say that exercise helps depression, but how did accidentally sharting on a treadmill help exactly
6 73 220
Reposted by MrsFitz
unfitz.bsky.social
𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 1d
I’m obsessed with grizzlies, bear in mind.
2 41 170
Reposted by MrsFitz
doomkick.com
💀Tombkick💀 @doomkick.com · 1d
Police Detective: The jig is up!
Me: *stops dancing in tears*
6 47 160
Reposted by MrsFitz
saltymactavish.bsky.social
Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 1d
Me and the pup, lying in the grass and looking up at the clouds, musing on life’s vicissitudes while that peppy Ozempic song plays
4 30 81
Reposted by MrsFitz
dly.bsky.social
d.ly @dly.bsky.social · 1d
I think it's very cool that we're able to make each other laugh
17 170 890
Reposted by MrsFitz
daddyjew.bsky.social
DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 1d
my job doesn’t pay me enough to think about work outside of work
1 26 74
Reposted by MrsFitz
ayankdownunder.bsky.social
GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 1d
Now kids, don’t touch daddy’s time machine while he’s away visiting his 12 other families.
10 30
Reposted by MrsFitz
sicburns2.bsky.social
[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 1d
Ah fuck it I’m making pumpkin martinis and putting in my kids’ old VHS tape of Barney’s Halloween Party
8 18 100
Reposted by MrsFitz
stuforreal.bsky.social
stuforreal.bsky.social @stuforreal.bsky.social · 3d
You need to look in to your heart you piece of shit
1 28 73
Reposted by MrsFitz
theciscokidder.bsky.social
Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 2d
"Better the devil you know than the devil you don't," is the secret to a long marriage.
12 62 190
Reposted by MrsFitz
buddhatree.bsky.social
Algonquin K Farquhar II @buddhatree.bsky.social · 1d
I'm too old for another platform. If everyone leaves I'll just stay here and rage bait the resisters.
1 15 61
Reposted by MrsFitz
oneyebogey.bsky.social
Bogey @oneyebogey.bsky.social · 1d
The Bluesky is torn asunder to reveal a gaping maw.
6 43 110
Reposted by MrsFitz
viktorwinetrout.bsky.social
Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 1d
If Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban can't make it, what hope is there for me and the black monolith that knows all things
17 91 590
Reposted by MrsFitz
sofarrsogud.bsky.social
FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 1d
*quietly beatboxing while the judge delivers my sentence
5 62 180
Reposted by MrsFitz
wakeupangry.bsky.social
Jack @wakeupangry.bsky.social · 1d
Why buy the human when you can get the blood for free?

- gross vampires probably
1 18 45
Reposted by MrsFitz
radionichole.bsky.social
NickNackPaddyWhack @radionichole.bsky.social · 4d
It is very windy on the deck but my tomatoes are hanging on for dear life. Oh wait maybe that’s me.
1 12 28
Reposted by MrsFitz
sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social
sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 3d
it’s awfully quiet on here i guess that’s bc everything is terrible
7 42 150
Reposted by MrsFitz
jopawiz.bsky.social
Spooky Panda @jopawiz.bsky.social · 3d
I don't hate. Mostly I just rue and lament... 🐼😔😔
1 6 16
Reposted by MrsFitz
theregoesrichie.bsky.social
richie @theregoesrichie.bsky.social · 4d
yeah but have you eaten ravioli about it
2 19 38
Reposted by MrsFitz
dopeshow.bsky.social
captcha @dopeshow.bsky.social · 4d
Me, defeated: Have you seen my shoes?

My wife: I put them in the shoe closet by the front door..

Me: OMFG WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT??!
2 12 30
Reposted by MrsFitz
robertelectricity.bsky.social
Robert Electricity @robertelectricity.bsky.social · 4d
It's October! Merry Christmas, y'all!
1 2
Reposted by MrsFitz
grommit56.bsky.social
Paul @grommit56.bsky.social · 4d
Life is short. Take the cannoli.
3 47 140