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WitchyBlob @blobstar.bsky.social · 1h

I always keep a banana in my pocket and nuts too. That's just smart snacking. But, yes, I am also happy to see you.

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Gary Muppet @garymuppet.bsky.social · 59m

The interview with that NPR reporter is today. Unfortunately, Gary’s foot easily fits in his mouth due to his Muppet-sized proportions.

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Eric Replatformed @21stcenturyeric.bsky.social · 56m

One of the perks about working from home is that the timing is very flexible for my weekly shower.

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WitchyBlob @blobstar.bsky.social · 2h

My mind labyrinth needs arrows guiding me to the checkout and exit like an Ikea. Plus, a stop for coffee and meatballs in the middle.

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WitchyBlob @blobstar.bsky.social · 2h

New sneaker squeaks on a hardwood floor. Not sneaky at all.

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 2h

If you see an old guy in a flat cap headed to the woods while carrying an axe, a pick, and a shovel, he’s either going to make charcoal or settle a score. Either way, doff your cap

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WitchyBlob @blobstar.bsky.social · 5h

Why can't hot flashes be quick sightings of attractive superheroes instead of sudden sweating and mood swings

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 4h

When Charlie Brown sulked for 40 years upon receiving only rocks in his pillowcase, I felt that

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Carole Boo @caroleu.bsky.social · 3h

Closing my eyes and wishing really hard doesn’t cook breakfast.
(Autocorrect just offered the word “Dammit”)
Dammit.

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 2h

Imaginary conversations will actually unprepare you for nobody else being there

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NickNackPaddyWhack @radionichole.bsky.social · 6h

Had to text my out of town husband to see if it was recycling week. Its the most incompetent I’ve felt in a while. I do the cooking, ok?

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Axer Jenkins @axerjenkins.bsky.social · 16h

It's taken a long time to crawl out of this sky scraper. I'm starting to think it was part of an old energy crisis project that was taken over by ghouls and behemoths. Somehow it gets worse towards the bottom floor, but luckily I was born scraping the sky

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Mary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 15h

They have Halloween lint rollers. You know how the kids love lint rollers.

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Mary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 14h

I wasn’t only friends with her bc of her snoopy snow cone maker, but it didn’t hurt.

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 13h

What you can only imagine does not pay for reality. That's what I always wrote on the memo line of all my checks, because back then it was time to stop saying I can only imagine to foolish dreams with tales of cashing blank stares at any bank wall

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PAM! @pamtoo.bsky.social · 11h

Who gets up at 2:30 to make coffee and eat leftover chicken?

(back-up singers, softly, but with confidence)

PAM!

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Tiki Moon🌙 @tikimoon.bsky.social · 22h

Oh, honey, I can disassociate with the best of them. Check out this stare into space. It’s the best you’ve ever seen, right?

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WitchyBlob @blobstar.bsky.social · 21h

I bought the bulk size bag of chocolate chips at Costco to share. Here, take one and pass it around.

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Bean N. Curling @beancurling.bsky.social · 17h

After a long day, I sure as FUCK don't need an animated turtle telling me about the risk of kidney failure.

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NickNackPaddyWhack @radionichole.bsky.social · 16h

Wow gorgeous!

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Darrell 🇨🇦 @darrellhere62.bsky.social · 17h

Sunset to the left of me
Moon to the right
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you

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NickNackPaddyWhack @radionichole.bsky.social · 16h

I used to take the classes with my grandma. It was also very cliquey! I’m there with you in spirit. :)

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murphmama.bsky.social @murphmama.bsky.social · 1d

We were poor, she was rich. She would come over and eat all our bologna because she loved it, and they didn't buy food like that at her house. I could never tell her no, that would have been shameful, but I would get in trouble later for letting the neighbor kids eat our food.

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Axer Jenkins @axerjenkins.bsky.social · 1d

The big man himself needed me to restrain a golem that was blocking the main neural pathway. It was too big and clunky to be brought down so I just had to lure it around with some funny dances and fig bars

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 1d

What if we're all Hallmark cards of some secret experiment to love each other but our hearts have too many occasions and categories so we're just like here please take this homemade coupon for a CIA

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