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DaddyJew

@daddyjew.bsky.social

11K followers 650 following 3.9K posts

Bangers https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:nhz43btfuzkkgj2hwvhvc2jr/feed/aaal2ybjpxkkq Mash https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:nhz43btfuzkkgj2hwvhvc2jr/feed/aaal2qxgwlhfc Fresh Tots https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:nhz43btfuzkkgj2hwvhvc2jr/feed/aaajknw6kxutk

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · Jan 16

Dentist: have you been flossing?

[flashback to me picking steak out of my teeth with a potato chip the night before]

Me: religiously

DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 2h

I hope that whatever dinosaur app you find, gives you the peace that you need

Reposted by DaddyJew

ash @ashhull.bsky.social · 2h

Right! Same.

DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 2h

*all evil doers being completely copacetic with one another * i’m sure that bodes well for civilization

Reposted by DaddyJew

Knew Nic @knewagirlnic.bsky.social · 2h

Do we have to?! *stomps feet*

Reposted by DaddyJew

midnightviolets.bsky.social @midnightviolets.bsky.social · 3h

Cracking up!

DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 2h

if someone stole my identity i’d be all like "haha, sucker"

DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 2h

have your enemy, within the enemy, call my enemy

DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 2h

the return on Nazi scalps just ain’t what it used to be

DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 2h

and now back to your regular shitposting

DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 2h

hurtful words uttered by someone you love are remembered forever

DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 2h

blocking them isn’t enough. i want them to forever be stuck behind a slow walker

Reposted by DaddyJew

DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 3d

i must be trippin, this elevator music slaps rn

Reposted by DaddyJew

Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 3h

Everyone can have a little crash out as a treat

DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 3h

i often wonder what kind of paint chips Picasso ate

Reposted by DaddyJew

Devi 🧙‍♀️✨ @deviwestside.bsky.social · 4h

Him: I want to see what you can do with those hands

Me: oh you’ll love this

*plays paper rock scissors*

Reposted by DaddyJew

DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · Sep 5

whenever i have a crush i feel like Lenny petting the rabbits

DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 3h

in my what in the actual fuck era

Reposted by DaddyJew

DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · Dec 28

Well well well if it isn't the guy whose lawn I woke up on

Reposted by DaddyJew

DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · Nov 21

Interviewer: what are your future plans?

Me: lunch

Interviewer: I meant long term plans

Me: what, like dinner?

Reposted by DaddyJew

Chames @overlooked237.bsky.social · 5h

*brings a grilled cheese to a knife fight so someone will cut it into triangles for me*

Reposted by DaddyJew

Luke Steuber @lukesteuber.com · 4h

Oh shit, ANTIFA is suiting up

From the sound of music. Seven children stand in a line inside a grand house, wearing identical light blue sailor-style uniforms with dark collars, neckties, and knee socks. They are arranged from tallest to shortest, standing at attention on a patterned rug with a staircase and ornate wall paneling behind them.

Reposted by DaddyJew

Delaney (Pum)King (She/Her/Whomst) @delaneyking.bsky.social · 4h

Laughing maniacally just doesn't seem to take the edge off anymore.

DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 3h

i fear i don’t have the knees to migrate to a new app

Reposted by DaddyJew

BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 4h

Honestly shocked no one has written a hit song about my butthole yet.

DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 3h

Oh they’ve written a song

a man in a red suit and tie adjusts his sunglasses in front of a blue curtain

Alt: the drummer in a red suit and tie adjusts his sunglasses in front of a blue curtain before performing “That Thing You Do” a fictional one hit wonder performed by the band The Wonders

media.tenor.com