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@midnightviolets.bsky.social

200 followers 100 following 200 posts

Kisses deep.

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midnightviolets.bsky.social @midnightviolets.bsky.social · 2d

when two people argue online, i believe whoever spells correctly

6 22 75

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Stace Fiction @girlawhirl.bsky.social · 2h

Olive oil not tasting like martinis is why I have trust issues.

1 11 21

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Sooz @cruisinsoozan.bsky.social · 52m

When that one coworker talks to you before you even clock in:

“Do anything fun last night?”
“Just your mom.”

3 12

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · Aug 13

*turning pockets inside out* i has no more skeets

1 19 41

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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 4h

It's sad how people expect change without actually changing anything. It's me, I'm people.

8 55 160

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debbspook @debbshock.blue · 1h

just shitposting through the apocalypse, like we do

10 29

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 1h

When Charlie Brown sulked for 40 years upon receiving only rocks in his pillowcase, I felt that

3 25 64

midnightviolets.bsky.social @midnightviolets.bsky.social · 2h

🏆

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Dark Wonder Jen 🦇 @galacticpotlady.bsky.social · Apr 26

A discovery of witches, but it’s just me doing yoga outside my crypt

3 22 43

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · Oct 11

I never finish anything. I have a black belt in partial arts.

24 240 800

midnightviolets.bsky.social @midnightviolets.bsky.social · 4h

water your dreams, not your doubts

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 7h

I'm as much to blame as you are, I said, because what's one more lie.

1 35 86

midnightviolets.bsky.social @midnightviolets.bsky.social · 4h

“what are your gym goals?”

me: going

4 19

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mindi @flawdbizkit.bsky.social · 5h

I would very much like blueberry pancakes and bite marks, please

3 17 53

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Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️ @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 19h

who wanna see the mastodon in my pants

6 21 46

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show me your kitties @frickinferal.bsky.social · 13h

I got my eyebrows tinted today if anyone’s down for some Bert and Ernie role play.

3 24 87

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Canadian Bacon @tashaneedshelp.bsky.social · 4d

I violated the hole in my Swiss cheese with a pickle.

I’d do it again.

5 12 54

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 14h

a double entendre? in this economy??

22 53

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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 12h

whenever in doubt, always hip thrust

3 29 70

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 14h

Just remember, you’re only one or two life decisions away from shopping for camper toilets on Amazon

3 28 100

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BrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 6d

I’m replacing cowbell with butthole.

3 15 50

midnightviolets.bsky.social @midnightviolets.bsky.social · 12h

Count me in babe.

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 13h

“Girl, he is not worth the bangs on your face”

- me, as a therapist

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 5d

I’m here to wax your Bermuda triangle.

6 23 62

midnightviolets.bsky.social @midnightviolets.bsky.social · 12h

why are there threesomes only for sex, why can’t I join in a couples argument if I want to

11 27 110

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La Spaghettissima @catlady.gay · 20h

Those fleeting magical moments found in good hugs

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