stabke
@stabke.bsky.social
Pinned
stabke
@stabke.bsky.social
· Jul 21
Listen. Life is short. Take the vacation. Eat the dessert. Dress like an elderly British woman to defy custody laws and see your kids. Get the guacamole yes I know it’s extra. Be extra.
Hello and welcome to Assumptions Club. I think we all know why we’re here.
November 25, 2025 at 1:41 AM
Hello and welcome to Assumptions Club. I think we all know why we’re here.
Reposted by stabke
There will always be a special place in my heart for my atrioventricular septum.
November 23, 2025 at 11:17 PM
There will always be a special place in my heart for my atrioventricular septum.
Reposted by stabke
my dad about to tell a funny story that isn’t nearly as funny as he thinks it is
November 23, 2025 at 10:44 PM
my dad about to tell a funny story that isn’t nearly as funny as he thinks it is
Reposted by stabke
[Emergency Room]
dr: I agree it’s unsightly but it’s only a rash
me: but it really hurts to sit on, doc
dr: just apply this lotion, if it’s still bad in a week see your own dr
m: but doctor—
dr: no your regular physician is fine, it doesn’t have to be an ass specialist
dr: I agree it’s unsightly but it’s only a rash
me: but it really hurts to sit on, doc
dr: just apply this lotion, if it’s still bad in a week see your own dr
m: but doctor—
dr: no your regular physician is fine, it doesn’t have to be an ass specialist
November 23, 2025 at 3:02 PM
[Emergency Room]
dr: I agree it’s unsightly but it’s only a rash
me: but it really hurts to sit on, doc
dr: just apply this lotion, if it’s still bad in a week see your own dr
m: but doctor—
dr: no your regular physician is fine, it doesn’t have to be an ass specialist
dr: I agree it’s unsightly but it’s only a rash
me: but it really hurts to sit on, doc
dr: just apply this lotion, if it’s still bad in a week see your own dr
m: but doctor—
dr: no your regular physician is fine, it doesn’t have to be an ass specialist
Reposted by stabke
Every year about this time, Leonard and Estelle went to go stay with her sister Carol in Toronto until the heat died down.
November 23, 2025 at 2:19 PM
Every year about this time, Leonard and Estelle went to go stay with her sister Carol in Toronto until the heat died down.
Reposted by stabke
Name's Brick. I have a 2:30. I believe He's expecting me
Satan's secretary: Oh yes - go right in! He'll be back in a moment. Bar's on the left
Satan's secretary: Oh yes - go right in! He'll be back in a moment. Bar's on the left
November 23, 2025 at 3:22 AM
Name's Brick. I have a 2:30. I believe He's expecting me
Satan's secretary: Oh yes - go right in! He'll be back in a moment. Bar's on the left
Satan's secretary: Oh yes - go right in! He'll be back in a moment. Bar's on the left
Reposted by stabke
Me and the cats all got needles today. Different things. None of us cried.
November 22, 2025 at 9:36 PM
Me and the cats all got needles today. Different things. None of us cried.
Reposted by stabke
Never be afraid to avoid new things.
November 22, 2025 at 10:05 PM
Never be afraid to avoid new things.
Reposted by stabke
Someone compliments you on your porcelain skin. How does it feel to be compared to a toilet?
November 22, 2025 at 5:13 PM
Someone compliments you on your porcelain skin. How does it feel to be compared to a toilet?
Reposted by stabke
Dawn had to keep reminding herself that this was just temporary, and she was only doing it to put herself through law school.
November 22, 2025 at 5:02 PM
Dawn had to keep reminding herself that this was just temporary, and she was only doing it to put herself through law school.
Reposted by stabke
"Lunchables" is a good name because it doesn't make any grandiose claims: "This is able to be eaten as lunch."
November 22, 2025 at 5:02 PM
"Lunchables" is a good name because it doesn't make any grandiose claims: "This is able to be eaten as lunch."
Reposted by stabke
The best way to avoid unnecessary arguments with your spouse is by not having one in the first place.
Tune in tomorrow for another secret the Illuminati don’t want you to know.
Tune in tomorrow for another secret the Illuminati don’t want you to know.
November 22, 2025 at 3:09 PM
The best way to avoid unnecessary arguments with your spouse is by not having one in the first place.
Tune in tomorrow for another secret the Illuminati don’t want you to know.
Tune in tomorrow for another secret the Illuminati don’t want you to know.
Reposted by stabke
"Get in!"
"But-"
"NOW."
"Okay..."
"Were you followed?"
"What?"
"WERE YOU FOLLOWED?"
"I don't think so."
"You have your passport?"
"I'm not sure."
"Never mind, open the glovebox."
"Alright. Hey, wha-"
"You know how to use that?"
"Frank, what-?"
"Better get used to calling me Jim."
"But-"
"NOW."
"Okay..."
"Were you followed?"
"What?"
"WERE YOU FOLLOWED?"
"I don't think so."
"You have your passport?"
"I'm not sure."
"Never mind, open the glovebox."
"Alright. Hey, wha-"
"You know how to use that?"
"Frank, what-?"
"Better get used to calling me Jim."
November 22, 2025 at 2:36 PM
"Get in!"
"But-"
"NOW."
"Okay..."
"Were you followed?"
"What?"
"WERE YOU FOLLOWED?"
"I don't think so."
"You have your passport?"
"I'm not sure."
"Never mind, open the glovebox."
"Alright. Hey, wha-"
"You know how to use that?"
"Frank, what-?"
"Better get used to calling me Jim."
"But-"
"NOW."
"Okay..."
"Were you followed?"
"What?"
"WERE YOU FOLLOWED?"
"I don't think so."
"You have your passport?"
"I'm not sure."
"Never mind, open the glovebox."
"Alright. Hey, wha-"
"You know how to use that?"
"Frank, what-?"
"Better get used to calling me Jim."
Reposted by stabke
Doctor: you’re going to feel some pressure, ready?
Me: yes
Doctor: your parents are prouder of your sister than you
Me: yes
Doctor: your parents are prouder of your sister than you
November 21, 2025 at 3:08 PM
Doctor: you’re going to feel some pressure, ready?
Me: yes
Doctor: your parents are prouder of your sister than you
Me: yes
Doctor: your parents are prouder of your sister than you
Reposted by stabke
I like Black Friday because today at the local grocery I picked up a dagwood sandwich and a bag of frozen shrimp for what I consider a pretty fair price
November 21, 2025 at 7:30 PM
I like Black Friday because today at the local grocery I picked up a dagwood sandwich and a bag of frozen shrimp for what I consider a pretty fair price
Reposted by stabke
It's sad that Brian the emu was ostrichsized by the other birds.
November 21, 2025 at 7:06 PM
It's sad that Brian the emu was ostrichsized by the other birds.
Reposted by stabke
“Now, I’ll pass things off to Jasper, who’s put together a PowerPoint for us. Jasper?”
“Thanks Jim, morning everyone.“
“Thanks Jim, morning everyone.“
November 21, 2025 at 5:28 PM
“Now, I’ll pass things off to Jasper, who’s put together a PowerPoint for us. Jasper?”
“Thanks Jim, morning everyone.“
“Thanks Jim, morning everyone.“
Reposted by stabke
me: *eating fresh mackerel* this must be what penguin tastes like
November 21, 2025 at 3:20 PM
me: *eating fresh mackerel* this must be what penguin tastes like
Reposted by stabke
Hal hadn’t survived three Thanksgivings by being stupid.
November 21, 2025 at 2:08 PM
Hal hadn’t survived three Thanksgivings by being stupid.
Rutgers just got more of a punishment for illegal touching than our president ever has
November 22, 2025 at 5:41 PM
Rutgers just got more of a punishment for illegal touching than our president ever has
If the president dies this month, there goes my No Nut November
November 20, 2025 at 12:35 AM
If the president dies this month, there goes my No Nut November
Reposted by stabke
[Alien vs. Predator fight]
Alien: I hardly ever see you.
Predator: You're too clingy.
Alien: I hardly ever see you.
Predator: You're too clingy.
November 20, 2025 at 12:19 AM
[Alien vs. Predator fight]
Alien: I hardly ever see you.
Predator: You're too clingy.
Alien: I hardly ever see you.
Predator: You're too clingy.
Reposted by stabke
Reposted by stabke
I would throw myself under a duvet for you.
November 19, 2025 at 6:11 PM
I would throw myself under a duvet for you.
Reposted by stabke
I just saw a shadow thrown by a cloud that was shaped like a penis, does that mean 6 more weeks of wiener?
November 19, 2025 at 2:32 PM
I just saw a shadow thrown by a cloud that was shaped like a penis, does that mean 6 more weeks of wiener?