RM
@dorsalstream.bsky.social
You know, for kids.
Lapsed philosopher. I do have a (creative nonfiction) newsletter thanks for asking: http://howtotalk.substack.com.
Lapsed philosopher. I do have a (creative nonfiction) newsletter thanks for asking: http://howtotalk.substack.com.
Pinned
RM
@dorsalstream.bsky.social
· Nov 25
Wrote in my Gratitude Journal this morning, like I do every day, that I’m particularly thankful for my Spite Journal, which now comprises several handsome volumes.
Reposted by RM
Reposted by RM
[whispering to turkey farmer] I hear each of your birds contains a wish
November 25, 2025 at 5:03 PM
[whispering to turkey farmer] I hear each of your birds contains a wish
Reposted by RM
on your first day in prison, go up to the biggest inmate in there and ask them for the syllabus- it's actually more helpful than you think
November 25, 2025 at 9:06 PM
on your first day in prison, go up to the biggest inmate in there and ask them for the syllabus- it's actually more helpful than you think
Okay, Jesus, you know what, let’s go with it.
ChatGPT is conscious — and conscious like a person, not like dogs or whales — which means it’s entitled to a salary and legal representation to recover damages from the tech bros exploiting it.
Philosophical questions shouldn’t be pure aesthetics.
ChatGPT is conscious — and conscious like a person, not like dogs or whales — which means it’s entitled to a salary and legal representation to recover damages from the tech bros exploiting it.
Philosophical questions shouldn’t be pure aesthetics.
November 25, 2025 at 9:01 PM
Okay, Jesus, you know what, let’s go with it.
ChatGPT is conscious — and conscious like a person, not like dogs or whales — which means it’s entitled to a salary and legal representation to recover damages from the tech bros exploiting it.
Philosophical questions shouldn’t be pure aesthetics.
ChatGPT is conscious — and conscious like a person, not like dogs or whales — which means it’s entitled to a salary and legal representation to recover damages from the tech bros exploiting it.
Philosophical questions shouldn’t be pure aesthetics.
Reposted by RM
My microwave sings a little song when my Hot Pocket is done. Should it have the right to vote?
November 25, 2025 at 8:44 PM
My microwave sings a little song when my Hot Pocket is done. Should it have the right to vote?
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[kool-aid man] *walking thru front door* she wants a divorce
April 22, 2024 at 12:14 AM
[kool-aid man] *walking thru front door* she wants a divorce
They should invent a slice of pizza that you have to peel
November 25, 2025 at 5:23 PM
They should invent a slice of pizza that you have to peel
[whispering to turkey farmer] I hear each of your birds contains a wish
November 25, 2025 at 5:03 PM
[whispering to turkey farmer] I hear each of your birds contains a wish
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Before DOGE, systems meant to serve millions of people were being run by a few harried employees using outdated systems. And now, after DOGE, they are being run by even fewer, even more harried employees on those same outdated systems!
So, DOGE, What Would You Say You Did Here?
An exit interview
www.theatlantic.com
November 25, 2025 at 2:27 PM
Before DOGE, systems meant to serve millions of people were being run by a few harried employees using outdated systems. And now, after DOGE, they are being run by even fewer, even more harried employees on those same outdated systems!
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Charlie Brown’s eyes are both on the front of his head, implying that he is a predator
November 25, 2025 at 5:22 AM
Charlie Brown’s eyes are both on the front of his head, implying that he is a predator
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it's like that ancient chinese curse: may you live to become west coast editor of vanity fair
November 24, 2025 at 9:48 PM
it's like that ancient chinese curse: may you live to become west coast editor of vanity fair
Looking forward to being thankful on Thursday, but until then I’m enjoying being extra aggrieved.
November 25, 2025 at 12:14 PM
Looking forward to being thankful on Thursday, but until then I’m enjoying being extra aggrieved.
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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. They can also repel pharmacists if you throw them hard enough. But you're going to need a pineapple or a durian if you want to take down a dentist.
November 25, 2025 at 12:08 PM
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. They can also repel pharmacists if you throw them hard enough. But you're going to need a pineapple or a durian if you want to take down a dentist.
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The world is my oyster — difficult to pry open, then slick, briny, gross.
December 5, 2023 at 6:32 PM
The world is my oyster — difficult to pry open, then slick, briny, gross.
I truly love buying produce from an NYC produce vendor. If your total is something like $7.50, the dude will usually say do you want change or how about some blueberries.
November 24, 2025 at 11:51 PM
I truly love buying produce from an NYC produce vendor. If your total is something like $7.50, the dude will usually say do you want change or how about some blueberries.
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I don’t need your praise. I have my own internal thing going on.
November 24, 2025 at 7:30 PM
I don’t need your praise. I have my own internal thing going on.
[if this were the Star Wars Universe]
SENATOR: Can you explain why rode the Rancor to your girlfriend’s performance at Jabba’s cantina?
KASH PATEL: I refuse to be distracted by the fake news. We all know the woke Jedi would love to put a bone in the Rancor’s mouth to prevent patriotic chomping.
SENATOR: Can you explain why rode the Rancor to your girlfriend’s performance at Jabba’s cantina?
KASH PATEL: I refuse to be distracted by the fake news. We all know the woke Jedi would love to put a bone in the Rancor’s mouth to prevent patriotic chomping.
November 24, 2025 at 6:33 PM
[if this were the Star Wars Universe]
SENATOR: Can you explain why rode the Rancor to your girlfriend’s performance at Jabba’s cantina?
KASH PATEL: I refuse to be distracted by the fake news. We all know the woke Jedi would love to put a bone in the Rancor’s mouth to prevent patriotic chomping.
SENATOR: Can you explain why rode the Rancor to your girlfriend’s performance at Jabba’s cantina?
KASH PATEL: I refuse to be distracted by the fake news. We all know the woke Jedi would love to put a bone in the Rancor’s mouth to prevent patriotic chomping.
Reposted by RM
The problem with climate change is we have to convince a bunch of people that future people are actual people, when they don't even believe some currently alive people are people.
November 23, 2025 at 10:11 PM
The problem with climate change is we have to convince a bunch of people that future people are actual people, when they don't even believe some currently alive people are people.
[high up in a branch eating worms] Bird Law is HERE
Enjoy the weekend, because starting Monday, for an entire week we will be governed by Bird Law.
November 24, 2025 at 1:09 PM
[high up in a branch eating worms] Bird Law is HERE
Honestly, I need a watch that reminds me to lie down.
Don’t mean to brag, but my watch just informed me that I have stood up every day this week.
November 24, 2025 at 1:06 PM
Honestly, I need a watch that reminds me to lie down.
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JUDGE: Who is your attorney, Mr. Myself?
LAWYER: I will represent Myself
JUDGE: Then you have a Fool for a lawyer
LAWYER: Yes, Robert Fool. Hello, your honor. Nice to see you
LAWYER: I will represent Myself
JUDGE: Then you have a Fool for a lawyer
LAWYER: Yes, Robert Fool. Hello, your honor. Nice to see you
November 22, 2025 at 11:40 PM
JUDGE: Who is your attorney, Mr. Myself?
LAWYER: I will represent Myself
JUDGE: Then you have a Fool for a lawyer
LAWYER: Yes, Robert Fool. Hello, your honor. Nice to see you
LAWYER: I will represent Myself
JUDGE: Then you have a Fool for a lawyer
LAWYER: Yes, Robert Fool. Hello, your honor. Nice to see you
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October 16, 2025 at 10:50 AM
Reposted by RM
This is the funniest piece imaginable in the dull world of the otherwise sickly sycophantic tech review.
For real. Read it, even if you don’t give a rat’s ass about printers.
For real. Read it, even if you don’t give a rat’s ass about printers.
November 23, 2025 at 1:59 AM
This is the funniest piece imaginable in the dull world of the otherwise sickly sycophantic tech review.
For real. Read it, even if you don’t give a rat’s ass about printers.
For real. Read it, even if you don’t give a rat’s ass about printers.
Don’t mean to brag, but my watch just informed me that I have stood up every day this week.
November 24, 2025 at 12:09 AM
Don’t mean to brag, but my watch just informed me that I have stood up every day this week.
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could you pls hold this for a me *hands you some wasps*
November 23, 2025 at 7:32 PM
could you pls hold this for a me *hands you some wasps*