mindflakes
mindflakes.bsky.social
mindflakes
@mindflakes.bsky.social
oh..... hello
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Almost done adding enough ferns and nutrient rich soil to the shower to imitate a rainforest environment
November 16, 2025 at 12:59 AM
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the creature growing in my loofah said “please, creator, make me a companion”
November 18, 2025 at 2:21 PM
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curling up next to a lantern in a little tin shack with rain beating on the roof
January 17, 2026 at 5:40 AM
It's nice how people leave those free dogs tied up outside shops for you to take home when you're feeling sad
January 20, 2026 at 8:18 PM
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i only have one pot i trust to cook rice good. the others will probably betray me
January 20, 2026 at 3:25 AM
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I have no patience for pomegranates. I don't have time to solve your fruit puzzle.
January 19, 2026 at 2:27 PM
Cars should have 6 different horns for the following scenarios:
- Look out
- Hello
- Sorry
- I like your bumper sticker
- Get out of the way I need to use the bathroom
- That guy in the blue hatchback looks like santa claus
January 20, 2026 at 12:24 PM
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i don’t think it’s appropriate that old people are my age
January 19, 2026 at 1:15 PM
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contrary to what you might think the name "toadstool" came first. and then they had to come up with a creature who would sit on such a mushroom. cue the perfect frog
January 19, 2026 at 5:32 AM
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asking my cats if they think they could get on board with a beautiful magical breakfast
January 18, 2026 at 4:57 PM
Everybody loves it when I put double-sided tape on my hands and feet and skitter about on the ceiling like a lizard
January 18, 2026 at 8:04 PM
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Early humans must have been so hungry before the invention of food
January 18, 2026 at 2:27 AM
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Shout out to everyone currently experiencing everything
January 18, 2026 at 4:01 AM
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I hate when you’re buying weapons-grade uranium and the guy is like “What are you gonna use it for?” None of your business
May 1, 2025 at 3:23 PM
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Seems unfair that you only get to use the bouncy slide to get off a plane when things have gone wrong. The bouncy slide should be a treat they give to the best passengers who did the flight correctly.
January 17, 2026 at 4:17 PM
I didn't even get an invite to my cat's coronation ceremony. After everything I did to facilitate her ascension.
January 17, 2026 at 6:39 PM
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I’m approaching forty years of age and have been starting to get those unfamiliar pangs, that feeling that I have to reach the south pole by sled
January 17, 2026 at 4:09 PM
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When a car beeps at another car and that car does a little beep back I know they’re mad at each other but it sounds like they’re friends
January 17, 2026 at 1:52 AM
Compressing 135 hot dogs into a very small but incredibly dense ball and eating it on the bus like an apple
January 17, 2026 at 5:53 PM
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One single pan-fried calorie on a bed of thinly sliced cabbage
January 16, 2026 at 8:00 PM
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It’s the height of citrus season*, so a perfect time to walk up to an enemy’s desk & place a blood orange on it, slice it swiftly in half with a kitchen knife, & then walk away.
January 16, 2026 at 4:06 PM
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Note: A previous version of this article referred to the subject in a disparaging tone. The author has since developed loving-kindness for all sentient beings and revised the article accordingly.
November 6, 2025 at 9:37 PM
My cats have made a habit of switching to german whenever I enter the room. Little do they know I've been learning german in anticipation of this very scenario. Not liking what I've heard so far
January 16, 2026 at 11:50 PM
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Any time I walk into someone's apartment or house for the first time, I freeze right after entering, get very serious, and finally say in a hushed voice "Something unspeakable happened here."
January 15, 2026 at 10:44 PM
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Before the rest of the diving team descend, I like to go down and rearrange the fish. I think the fish are very convincing when arranged this way, and quite pleasing to the eye. I'm hoping this will stir a love of nature in my colleagues, who often lambast me for having a tender heart
January 14, 2026 at 11:09 PM