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CynicalTherapist

@cynicaltherapist.bsky.social

4.2K followers 2.2K following 3.4K posts

LMFT-LADAC Witch, Addictions Expert, Not your therapist. Both traumatized and trauma informed. https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:3brg3tkarfmhgddu4pmgjbkq/feed/aaapaaog6d5h4

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 8d

Trying to live a life just unsettling enough to warrant a second autopsy.

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 6m

Thanks friend.

CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 6m

Ah. I see it now.

CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 1h

The farther away it gets the easier. I think the years are easier than the first 90. Fuck going back to that.

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 1h

a man in a tuxedo and bow tie is standing in a living room in front of a bed .

Alt: a man in a tuxedo and bow tie in a curtsy

media.tenor.com

CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 2h

Getting my yearly tattoo 🖤 crazy to have a bday that nobody celebrates but me.

Reposted by CynicalTherapist

weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 4h

Introducing Ketamucil™ - Metamucil with Ketamine

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Reposted by CynicalTherapist

lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 3h

microsoft product (begging, pleading): save this document to my documents?

me: save to desktop

microsoft (twitching, shaking) this jpeg. save to pictures?

me: save to desktop

microsoft (weeping, throwing up): this email attachment... downloads?

me: desktop

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 2h

🖤 keep coming back

CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 2h

a man is sitting in front of a bunch of barrels talking to another man .

Alt: a man is sitting, pointing with his thumb, saying: this guy gets it

media.tenor.com

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 2h

Thanks so much. It's not hard these days.

CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 3h

Thank you Pie!

CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 3h

Tysm. It's fucked up decade to be aware.

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 3h

🖤🤘

CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 3h

Try the veal. Tip your waitresses.

CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 3h

It's giving chess club

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 3h

Lol is now short for 'little old lady'. I've shortened it to an acronym to streamline the best knock knock joke on the planet.

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 3h

Imagine a vulcan gang. Lol.

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Reposted by CynicalTherapist

Kris Wernowsky @kriswernowsky.com · 3h

Stopping off to tell myself to learn a trade before bouncing all the way back to kill Baby Hitler.

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 3h

Thank youuuu

CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 3h

Thank you! (Vulcan 🖖 high five)

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 3h

Today I celebrate 13 years of sobriety. This might sound unlucky, but believe me, it's more spite than luck.

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Reposted by CynicalTherapist

Midge @midge.bsky.social · 6h

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU

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Reposted by CynicalTherapist

Isabel Zaw-Tun @izzyzaw.bsky.social · 18h

everybody’s jealous of me since I decided to get plastic surgery to have Cuttlefish skin. they‘re resentful because I camouflage myself as a brick wall or a gorseberry bush in order to steal their croissants off their plates at cafes. I’ve never felt so beautiful

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Eternal Samnation @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 15h

I unabashedly love that Michael Douglas married Catherine Zeta-Jones and all the Hollywood rags were like “this man NEEDS to be REVERED as a SEX ICON” and afterwards he chose his every subsequent role to respond “I am a WASHED UP POTHEAD ENGLISH TEACHER who likes to EAT SOUP on PARK BENCHES”

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Midge @midge.bsky.social · 18h

Rider down, I repeat rider down

Photo of a broom that lies riderless in the road

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