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Festering Dead Leaves Sam

@carrionsam.bsky.social

780 followers 1.1K following 5.6K posts

I'm perfect in every way, that's why people can't stand me

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Festering Dead Leaves Sam @carrionsam.bsky.social · May 30

Talk to me

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 12h

The only reason to fill your face with fillers is to ensure you have mayonnaise for later.

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LadyDEADtera32 🍁😷🌈💀 @ladylettera32.bsky.social · 12h

Sitting here patiently in my witch’s hat with my knitting and waiting for halloween to arrive

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Hannah Shelley, MLIS (Metadata, Lattes & Impostor Syndrome) @hannahshelley.bsky.social · 13h

Cleaning tip: to avoid getting overwhelmed, focus on decluttering just one room a week until you die

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Misty @anglobones.bsky.social · 16h

the day after I took my first dab

a typed sign that reads “sorry for the inconvenience but right now we is out of are”

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Jooli-AHH! Ghoulia 🎃🍂🔪 @jooliaghoulia.bsky.social · 13h

the day after I took my first dab

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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 22h

[Receiving Nobel Peace Prize]

Me: "I’m honored, Mr. Chairman.”

My Mom from the audience: "He wet the bed til he was 17!”

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Festering Dead Leaves Sam @carrionsam.bsky.social · 14h

If you see this, post an image you saved because it made you laugh

Festering Dead Leaves Sam @carrionsam.bsky.social · 14h

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

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Jason Adams @jamnpp.bsky.social · 20h

Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world,... I feel like I can't take it. And my heart is just going to cave in.

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Festering Dead Leaves Sam @carrionsam.bsky.social · 15h

Real

Festering Dead Leaves Sam @carrionsam.bsky.social · 15h

Whoa there, I'm not gonna cream for two sugars

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Festering Dead Leaves Sam @carrionsam.bsky.social · 15h

Do you take it black?

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Festering Dead Leaves Sam @carrionsam.bsky.social · 15h

I tried to learn Python but turns out I don't have the patience to code

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Festering Dead Leaves Sam @carrionsam.bsky.social · 15h

Our crocs here are just an affront to god and good taste

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Festering Dead Leaves Sam @carrionsam.bsky.social · 15h

Turns out the real self deprecation were the friends we made along the way <3

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Festering Dead Leaves Sam @carrionsam.bsky.social · 15h

You wish diarrhea on people while every three months, a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in northen Queensland?!?

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Festering Dead Leaves Sam @carrionsam.bsky.social · 15h

You should talk worse shit about yourself and tag him until he breaks

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Festering Dead Leaves Sam @carrionsam.bsky.social · 16h

Why is that on the bathroom counter? Oh, it was the nut holding my dick in place

The corner of my bathroom counter, with a hairpin, a nail cutter, a big tooth comb, and weirdly a big galvanized 19mm nut and washer

Festering Dead Leaves Sam @carrionsam.bsky.social · 16h

SING US A SONG YOU'RE THE PIANO MAN
SING US A SONG TONIGHT
WELL WE'RE ALL IN THE MOOD FOR A FELONY

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Festering Dead Leaves Sam @carrionsam.bsky.social · 18h

I'm going to go directly with the credit card company now

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Festering Dead Leaves Sam @carrionsam.bsky.social · 19h

"This cabinet is... incorrect. I am... mildly irritated. Moderately... irritated. I will go remove South Carolina" lives rent-free in my mind now

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Ivana Knapp @ivanaknapp.bsky.social · 21h

Take guns away from stalkers, assaulters and domestic abusers I guarantee you frequency of mass shootings will plummet

The Times & Sunday Times @thetimes.com · 21h

"Where were the warning signs, we ask about monsters like the Manchester killer. The answer is: in their domestic lives" | ✍️ Janice Turner

What Jihad al-Shamie’s three wives tell us about terror

Where were the warning signs, we ask about monsters like the Manchester killer. The answer is: in their domestic lives

www.thetimes.com

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murphmama.bsky.social @murphmama.bsky.social · 1d

Transmission.

Sculpture of a face surrounded by four hands with blue clouded sky.

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Festering Dead Leaves Sam @carrionsam.bsky.social · 19h

I'm very reassured

Festering Dead Leaves Sam @carrionsam.bsky.social · 19h

It turns out you can put words together any way you like, no one will stop you

Lord Rat Squirt @lordratsquirt.bsky.social · 20h

Honestly, dumpster butt plugs outperform new butt plugs. Pre-broken in, ripe, and ready to provide anal pleasure.

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