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Festering Dead Leaves Sam

@carrionsam.bsky.social

780 followers 1.1K following 5.6K posts

I'm perfect in every way, that's why people can't stand me

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Festering Dead Leaves Sam @carrionsam.bsky.social · May 30

Talk to me

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Festering Dead Leaves Sam @carrionsam.bsky.social · 3m

Well, for the last 6 months at least

Reposted by Festering Dead Leaves Sam

FromRightField @fromrightfield.bsky.social · 30m

As I’ve said, if Antifa was a real organization, it would be sending me unsolicited emails and texts asking for money.

Randi Mayem Singer @rmayemsinger.bsky.social · 43m

Weird how Antifa never asks me for money. Everyone else does, but Antifa is very quiet.

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Festering Dead Leaves Sam @carrionsam.bsky.social · 28m

I'm not dramatic I'm just chaste and pure. Virginal even.

(Forget the three daughters)

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Festering Dead Leaves Sam @carrionsam.bsky.social · 2h

😳

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Reposted by Festering Dead Leaves Sam

Sardonicus @sardonicus.eu · 4h

I've lost count of how many times I've had to say 'Cool it, you're meltin my bongos'

Comic panel of beatnicks.

LIKE IT'S OUT TO BE IN, AND IT'S SQUARE TO BE HIP, I MEAN DIG THE SCENE, A NAP ISN'T A NIP!

SAY IT AGAIN, BERNARD! THOSE TENDER SENTIMENTS DO WONDERS
FOR MY LIBIDO!

COOL IT, CHICK! YOU'RE MELTIN' MY BONGOS!

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Scare Blair @blairloudly.bsky.social · 4h

its fall that means layers i should visit my mom shes always good for some layers of guilt

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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · Sep 3

them: ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?!?!
me: no

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spooky enjoyer @ryotlgf.bsky.social · 4h

nice chumba you got there. be a shame if someone wumba’d it

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Festering Dead Leaves Sam @carrionsam.bsky.social · 4h

About to block you right now

Can't argue with dreams

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Festering Dead Leaves Sam @carrionsam.bsky.social · 5h

"Not recommended" (Boomers)

"Don't get a wife, start living through her every breath" (Gomez Addams)

Reposted by Festering Dead Leaves Sam

d.ly @dly.bsky.social · 17h

I should get a wife

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Festering Dead Leaves Sam @carrionsam.bsky.social · 5h

I did dream of someone climbing on me but I have no memories of who it was

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Jared Gonia @jaredgonia.bsky.social · 17h

Anyone have brain works good disease? I'm trying to catch it.

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Welcome to Night Vale @nightvaleradio.bsky.social · 6h

Ask your doctor how much they make. When they try not to answer, insist that you have to know "for medical reasons".

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Festering Dead Leaves Sam @carrionsam.bsky.social · 5h

Obviously so you can't tag them with praises about their sexual prowess, leading to too much attention from everyone on the app trying to get some

A tragedy, but to be expected

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Festering Dead Leaves Sam @carrionsam.bsky.social · 5h

Just like giving out potatoes, there is potential for making the most confusingly happy kids

Reposted by Festering Dead Leaves Sam

Mary @anniemumary.bsky.social · 18h

They have Halloween lint rollers. You know how the kids love lint rollers.

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Jared Gonia @jaredgonia.bsky.social · 19h

I can't post that thought, brain.

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Daisy @daisy91.bsky.social · 10h

Sorry I can’t come to your wedding. That’s the weekend I’ve scheduled to blow pet safe bubbles to my kitten.

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Skip, the Online Raccoon @badposter.lol · 10h

posting things like “i do not allow resist libs on my page” doesn’t work. they don’t look at your page. they mass follow through starter packs and feeds. they never see a single thing you post unless it goes viral in the discover feed. don’t bother trying to fend them off.