Random Muser
@randommuser.bsky.social
I’m a pacifistic antifascistic mermaid. Whatever the hell that means.
2026 is all about acquiring a cat
2026 is all about acquiring a cat
Pinned
lots of times when I’m having a bad day I realize I wasn’t listening to music
🎵 music is therapy 🎶
🎵 music is therapy 🎶
a social media app where pictures of humans are banned sounds amazing
January 20, 2026 at 12:34 PM
a social media app where pictures of humans are banned sounds amazing
ditzy only works if you’re cute
January 20, 2026 at 12:19 PM
ditzy only works if you’re cute
Reposted by Random Muser
Has anyone seen my horn? You can't miss it, it's green!
January 20, 2026 at 3:05 AM
Has anyone seen my horn? You can't miss it, it's green!
Reposted by Random Muser
this is having the opposite intended effect
January 20, 2026 at 5:00 AM
this is having the opposite intended effect
Reposted by Random Muser
Buying bananas just to peel something
January 20, 2026 at 1:18 AM
Buying bananas just to peel something
Reposted by Random Muser
Ranking All Seven Samurai:
1. #7
2. #1
3 #4
4. #6
5. #5
6. #2
7. #3
1. #7
2. #1
3 #4
4. #6
5. #5
6. #2
7. #3
January 20, 2026 at 1:06 AM
Ranking All Seven Samurai:
1. #7
2. #1
3 #4
4. #6
5. #5
6. #2
7. #3
1. #7
2. #1
3 #4
4. #6
5. #5
6. #2
7. #3
Reposted by Random Muser
When I tell you that they absolutely do not know this man...
dont believe anything they tell you.
Let HIM tell his own story
dont believe anything they tell you.
Let HIM tell his own story
January 20, 2026 at 1:31 AM
When I tell you that they absolutely do not know this man...
dont believe anything they tell you.
Let HIM tell his own story
dont believe anything they tell you.
Let HIM tell his own story
Reposted by Random Muser
Just a few more strongly worded letters from dem reps with a couple of petitions should get us back on track
January 8, 2026 at 3:21 PM
Just a few more strongly worded letters from dem reps with a couple of petitions should get us back on track
Reposted by Random Muser
y'all we are only going to get through this year if we post lots of really stupid shit together
January 20, 2026 at 12:40 AM
y'all we are only going to get through this year if we post lots of really stupid shit together
Reposted by Random Muser
Glad you liked my recommendation, but I wish you weren't so surprised that it was good.
January 20, 2026 at 1:28 AM
Glad you liked my recommendation, but I wish you weren't so surprised that it was good.
Reposted by Random Muser
doomsday clock set to snooze
January 19, 2026 at 10:40 PM
doomsday clock set to snooze
Reposted by Random Muser
the world is terrible but there are people being silly on the internet and i think that's beautiful
January 20, 2026 at 1:48 AM
the world is terrible but there are people being silly on the internet and i think that's beautiful
Reposted by Random Muser
Schrodinger's Clit
Maslow's Hierarchy of erogenous zones
January 20, 2026 at 1:47 AM
Schrodinger's Clit
Reposted by Random Muser
I said something and my mom said it was funny and then I posted it here and you didn't laugh. I love bluesky but this is unsustainable. Mom said it was funny. Now bluesky will never be the global townsquare. This is proof you aren't fighting fascism enough.
MOM SAID IT WAS FUNNY.
MOM SAID IT WAS FUNNY.
January 20, 2026 at 12:07 AM
I said something and my mom said it was funny and then I posted it here and you didn't laugh. I love bluesky but this is unsustainable. Mom said it was funny. Now bluesky will never be the global townsquare. This is proof you aren't fighting fascism enough.
MOM SAID IT WAS FUNNY.
MOM SAID IT WAS FUNNY.
🧽 👈🏻 thirst trap
🌵 👈🏻 thirst trap
January 20, 2026 at 6:00 AM
🧽 👈🏻 thirst trap
Reposted by Random Muser
replying “your posts are bad” in the family group chat
January 20, 2026 at 4:59 AM
replying “your posts are bad” in the family group chat
Reposted by Random Muser
Write a tragedy in four words.
My glass is empty
My glass is empty
Write a tragedy in four words.
Her husband walked in.
Her husband walked in.
Write a tragedy in four words.
Oh, you already ate?
Oh, you already ate?
January 20, 2026 at 5:04 AM
Write a tragedy in four words.
My glass is empty
My glass is empty
Reposted by Random Muser
Write a tragedy in four words
We’re out of Cheezits
We’re out of Cheezits
Write a tragedy in four words
Sorry that was fast
Sorry that was fast
Write a tragedy in four words.
Oh, you already ate?
Oh, you already ate?
January 20, 2026 at 5:08 AM
Write a tragedy in four words
We’re out of Cheezits
We’re out of Cheezits
Reposted by Random Muser
Write a tragedy in four words.
I’m out of weed.
I’m out of weed.
Write a tragedy in four words.
Her husband walked in.
Her husband walked in.
Write a tragedy in four words.
Oh, you already ate?
Oh, you already ate?
January 20, 2026 at 4:47 AM
Write a tragedy in four words.
I’m out of weed.
I’m out of weed.
Reposted by Random Muser
Reposted by Random Muser
def not about me
LOL he a hoe
January 20, 2026 at 4:28 AM
def not about me
Reposted by Random Muser
So do all gay men play hockey is that how it works
January 20, 2026 at 3:24 AM
So do all gay men play hockey is that how it works
Reposted by Random Muser
I hope it’s jam
if you’re ever worried you’re past your prime and haven’t achieved anything just remember bananas are best as bread and grapes are best as wine. the universe is probably just waiting to do something delicious with your corpse
January 20, 2026 at 3:59 AM
I hope it’s jam
Reposted by Random Muser
Tostada? I barely know ‘ah
January 20, 2026 at 3:55 AM
Tostada? I barely know ‘ah