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@dopeshow.bsky.social

2.1K followers 930 following 2K posts

Cigarette butt collector, esquire. Legal Advice: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7kbe2ppvlcrszkduecbj4syj/feed/aaai5iu6grewk

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captcha @dopeshow.bsky.social · Sep 9

One day you'll make your little DIY toilet seat cover with three pieces of tissue paper for the very last time

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captcha @dopeshow.bsky.social · 11m

Save me a seat in piñata rotation

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Miss Havishambles @misshavishambles.bsky.social · 4d

Watching a documentary on the Carpenters, five minutes in. It’s only just begun.

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Miss Havishambles @misshavishambles.bsky.social · 9h

Hey Princess I can detect pee through ten mattresses too.

3 25 63

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Miss Havishambles @misshavishambles.bsky.social · 15h

Never post in the middle of the night, or any other time.

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SpatialKimtamine @kimmalien.bsky.social · 32m

Farted out a lung

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SpatialKimtamine @kimmalien.bsky.social · 6d

They’re letting me post like a mom on bsky dot cum

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SpatialKimtamine @kimmalien.bsky.social · 5d

Sorry for bothering you with my unconditional love bro

4 78 210

captcha @dopeshow.bsky.social · 16m

Happy Birthday 😻🌬️🎈

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Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️ @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 2h

can’t help but wonder who my haters are around here
and like why would you hate a person that puts kine bud in my birthday piñata

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Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️ @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 21h

client wants this report “yesterday”

anybody remember where I parked the time machine

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captcha @dopeshow.bsky.social · 24m

Obviously 🥂

a man in a white suit stands next to a woman in a white dress in front of a statue

Alt: a man in a white suit stands next to a woman in a white dress in front of a statue... She is shaking her dress like fart in a hurricane

media.tenor.com

captcha @dopeshow.bsky.social · 29m

Congratulations 🎉 ..and I'm sorry.

Whichever one applies here.

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captcha @dopeshow.bsky.social · 35m

💯 💯 💯 times yes

captcha @dopeshow.bsky.social · 39m

For posterity...

I skircle of about 42 people I love, one mortal enemy, and two people I've never seen in my whole forsaken life

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 1h

A shock collar but for the urge to check somebody’s page

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PieGuy @ilovepie84.bsky.social · 15h

Sorry I haven’t been on lately. I was busy trying to open a produce bag for my apples

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'dro🐰 @clowndro.bsky.social · 1h

It's amazing what you can accomplish in life when you're given no other choice

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captcha @dopeshow.bsky.social · 1h

Wait. I thought Antifa made maple syrup!

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Ashley @ashleysays.bsky.social · 3h

Today my cat will be played by a police siren

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Xavier Horatio Xinicit 🎉 @xinicit.bsky.social · 14h

[Ned Flanders in Pulp Fiction]

I am pre-diddily-iddy far from okily dokey.

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 14h

“Do you want me to be honest?” isn’t a question. It’s a warning.

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Fun @funkelly.bsky.social · 13h

ufc was invented for dudes who want some other half-naked dude to give the big hugs and put their little feetsies on their faces

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 13h

I hope that whatever dinosaur app you find, gives you the peace that you need

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famous bog body @bogbird.bsky.social · 11h

holding a beautiful woman’s hand while we file for bankruptcy together

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Fulkery @fulkery.bsky.social · 8h

Just running around mitigating shit

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