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Knew Nic

@knewagirlnic.bsky.social

2.8K followers 740 following 5.9K posts

Everything I post here is autobiographical, except when it’s not. Stuff I maybe did: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:uogum6c6auqmpmr4mbcbd4sz/feed/aaaksbaegxqjw

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Knew Nic @knewagirlnic.bsky.social · 11d

Pssst, we are totally fucked.

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trickyNOtreat 🎃 @trickykat.bsky.social · 1d

(my first day on the job as a safety officer at the white house)

can anyone else smell fire and brimstone?

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Nikkolas Smith @4nikkolas.bsky.social · 1d

after millions of views and shares of my Portland Frog art. (thank you all🙏🏾) I got requests to highlight priests, and chickens, and Chicagoans, and T-Rexes, and more… all of us who refuse to bend the knee. so this is for US.
𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚃𝚊𝚕𝚕.
𝚆𝚎 𝚆𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚆𝚒𝚗.

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Miss Havishambles @misshavishambles.bsky.social · 1d

I’ve got a notification on my calculator. Something doesn’t add up.

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Corduroy Cheddar @corduroycheddar.bsky.social · 1d

Big dick energy in a slightly smaller package

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Corduroy Cheddar @corduroycheddar.bsky.social · 1d

(calls in sick)

My throat hurts, I choked on a bag of dicks

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The New Republic @newrepublic.com · 1d

His slip of the tongue reveals who’s really in charge. trib.al/mIvP0yE

“Illinois governor says we’re provoking actions that are unlawful,” Miller said on CNN. “If I put federal law enforcement and National Guard into a nice sleepy Southern town, is anyone gonna riot?”

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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 1d

Mr. Peanut was recently diagnosed with osteoporosis. Now he's Mr. Peanut Brittle.

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mindi @flawdbizkit.bsky.social · 1d

feeling very......

*flailing all the limbs

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Jayland-Yutani @jaycubed2k.bsky.social · 1d

Sorry I'm not that funny on here anymore, I'm blind with rage most of the time now

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Careful, Jenn Bites 🧛🏻‍♀️🩷🧛🏻‍♀️ @alldolledup44.bsky.social · 1d

I have to make a phone call. Please send thought and prayers.

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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 1d

[at stoplight]

*gets out of car, knocks on driver's window behind me after following me for 3 turns*

Me: Are you obsessed with me?

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Jayland-Yutani @jaycubed2k.bsky.social · 23h

Flooding the zone with shitty skeets

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Jayland-Yutani @jaycubed2k.bsky.social · 23h

[cumming] oh no not again

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Nora Reed (they/them ze/hir) @nora.zone · 21h

cry havoc and let slip the frogs of war

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Kat Alderson 🎉 @klaybourne.bsky.social · 20h

me: I require a compliment

him: you’re not as mean as you used to be

me: *glares*

him:

me: *glares harder*

him: what I meant was you’re even meaner than you used to be

me: *beams*

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jordan @jordangerous.bsky.social · 20h

You’re not truly liberated until you start appreciating sensible undergarments

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Leen McBeans 🦇 @leenmcbeans.bsky.social · 19h

sometimes I think I eat really spicy food just to feel something

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Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 19h

Hey guys please stop calling my girlfriend a “hallucination”

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ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 17h

I’m going to hire a detective to help me figure out who has a crush on me

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 13h

Waffle House. House of Pancakes.

There’s a whole griddle real estate market out there.

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Spooky 𝕋𝕚𝕞 🇨🇦 @qwertying.bsky.social · 11h

I made a sound getting into my car that I can only describe as a dial-up modem connecting. It wasn't voluntary, it was a diagnostic report.

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Uffdafuckingda @uffdada.bsky.social · 18h

Why is it called marriage and not a series of unfortunate events?

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 20h

Interviewer: what’s your greatest strength?

Me: you’ll never hear any half baked ideas from me. i can assure you, i’m fully baked for all of my ideas

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zeke @zekejw.bsky.social · 20h

A punk band called Adult Circumcision.

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ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 20h

If I ever tell someone to “get my good side” in a pic, I’m probably talking about my butt

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