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Julie Lavender Menace

@2tickytacky.bsky.social

9.5K followers 2.3K following 5.2K posts

🔵Co-pastor: Ravensmenace, LLC 🔵Top 10 blood donor in Pannonica County 🔵Saving souls, one homeless orphan kitten at a time. I'm not Lisa. My name is Julie 🏳️‍⚧️. she/her https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaabsfrnzo2wy

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 2d

Now, a message from Rev. Thurl H. "Skeet" Ravenscrof:

Oops! Somehow, Sister Julie got mysteriously locked in her bedroom with the door nailed shut.... Vodka Shot Bingo 7p to floor! Let's play pin the tail on the self righteous, domineering ass. God bless.

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anton @deranton.bsky.social · 4d

I don't know how much stock to put into these bubbling predictions of Bluesky's demise, but I did notice a couple of new starter packs created this weekend that didn't include me, so there ARE some signs

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anton @deranton.bsky.social · 15h

Why can't I just have a normal mid-life crisis like my gramps and buy an expensive convertible sports car and skip town with the secretary instead of this full-blown existential crisis watching civilization crumble bullshit

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anton @deranton.bsky.social · 28d

Maybe some folks took the sentiment "the more I learn, the less I know" to heart and quit while they were ahead

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 3h

In 1980, my mom invented the double bow for shoe tying and revolutionized babysitting.

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 3h

That's that voice I heard. Ugh. I wish it sounded like a cute girl. Lee was sure pulling out all the stops back then. 1984 was when his minivans came out.

Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 3h

I had a Dodge 600 that talked. It started getting annoying after the novelty wore off.

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 2d

Let’s meet at the sand-pit. We’ll listen to REO Speedwagon unironically and drink Boone’s Farm until we see balloons

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 19h

His beard was like a temper tantrum. Her breath was better than her playlist. They made love in the Kohl’s parking lot.

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 4h

If I really like you I’ll let you feel the dent in my head

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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 6d

Since no one does it anymore, I just sexually harass myself.

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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 2d

So much to do, so little intention of doing any of it . . . going to take a nap soon.

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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 1d

HGTV has taught me you can do anything if you have the right tools. I’ve also learned that any handyman you hire will have those tools.

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 20h

Present him with the Hormel Meat Prize.

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 19h

*opens a sweet lodge, because typo*

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 7h

I'm ready, get's lo.

A magnet that says Fets Luck, You read that wrong didn't you

(From Instagram, uncredited)

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Nibblerstein’s Monster @arcanenibbler.bsky.social · 14h

Might fuck around and fry some mush.

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Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 13h

Hey guys please stop calling my girlfriend a “hallucination”

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CrazyMyra @outonthemoors.bsky.social · 13h

Nothing.
Just persuading myself not to rickroll the "unsolicited _ick pic" thread.

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Yo Gabapentin @yogabapentin.bsky.social · 3d

Claude AI’s logo is unironically Kurt Vonnegut’s butthole drawing

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surdfish @surdfish.bsky.social · 3d

*Plagiarizes butthole*

Yo Gabapentin @yogabapentin.bsky.social · 3d

Claude AI’s logo is unironically Kurt Vonnegut’s butthole drawing

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Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace

GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · Apr 5

I'm eating all the cheese.

Soon, there will be no more cheese.

If you wanted some, you should have eaten it before I ate all of it.

-current world philosophy

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surdfish @surdfish.bsky.social · 1d

Formaggiocephalia, or cheese on the brain, is what the experts are saying I have.

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sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı @identityxcrisis.bsky.social · 24d

...and in related gnus, some wildebeest held a family reunion today.

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sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı @identityxcrisis.bsky.social · 5d

Find a penny, pick it up, and then when someone honks their horn and startles you, drop it again, and all the day you'll be extra jumpy.

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sısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı @identityxcrisis.bsky.social · 3d

Hot Cursed Tarot Decks In Your Area Want To Stalk You!

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