Julie Lavender Menace
@2tickytacky.bsky.social
🔵Banger skeet writer
🔵Top 10 blood donor in Pannonica County
🔵Saving souls, one homeless orphan kitten at a time.
I'm not Lisa. My name is Julie 🏳️⚧️. she/her
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaabsfrnzo2wy
🔵Top 10 blood donor in Pannonica County
🔵Saving souls, one homeless orphan kitten at a time.
I'm not Lisa. My name is Julie 🏳️⚧️. she/her
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaabsfrnzo2wy
Pinned
Now, a message from Rev. Thurl H. "Skeet" Ravenscrof.
Vodka Shot Bingo 7p to floor. Vaseline 16 oz jar $4.99. Spatulas $2.99 each. Double Stuf Oreos $3.99. Sale ends Sunday. God bless.
Vodka Shot Bingo 7p to floor. Vaseline 16 oz jar $4.99. Spatulas $2.99 each. Double Stuf Oreos $3.99. Sale ends Sunday. God bless.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
This day in history. 2002. US president George W Bush described Iraq, Iran, and North Korea as an “axis of evil”. Also on this day George W Bush learned that Iraq and Iran are not the same country then forgot that immediately.
January 29, 2026 at 9:04 AM
This day in history. 2002. US president George W Bush described Iraq, Iran, and North Korea as an “axis of evil”. Also on this day George W Bush learned that Iraq and Iran are not the same country then forgot that immediately.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
This day in history. 1578. Battle of Gembloux. Spanish forces defeated an army of Dutch, Flemish, English, Scottish, German, French, Italian, Walloon, Luxembourgish, Swiss, Andorran, Sámi, Rohanese, Dornish, Atlantan, Wakandan, Cimmerian, Ishtari, Freedonian, Ruritanian, and even Florinish rebels.
January 31, 2026 at 9:25 AM
This day in history. 1578. Battle of Gembloux. Spanish forces defeated an army of Dutch, Flemish, English, Scottish, German, French, Italian, Walloon, Luxembourgish, Swiss, Andorran, Sámi, Rohanese, Dornish, Atlantan, Wakandan, Cimmerian, Ishtari, Freedonian, Ruritanian, and even Florinish rebels.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
This day in history. 1959. All nine members of a ski hiking expedition in the northern Ural Mountains were bizarrely struck dead by a force of nature. It could only have been Brigitte Bardot.
February 2, 2026 at 9:24 AM
This day in history. 1959. All nine members of a ski hiking expedition in the northern Ural Mountains were bizarrely struck dead by a force of nature. It could only have been Brigitte Bardot.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
When I was young and single, I used to buy all my snowstorm supplies at the local liquor store.
January 28, 2026 at 1:08 PM
When I was young and single, I used to buy all my snowstorm supplies at the local liquor store.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
One day I'll probably look up from my phone and realize my kids put me in a nursing home.
January 31, 2026 at 1:14 PM
One day I'll probably look up from my phone and realize my kids put me in a nursing home.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
Just looking . . . is acceptable at Macy's and JC Penny, but not the gym . . . I know this now.
February 2, 2026 at 1:23 PM
Just looking . . . is acceptable at Macy's and JC Penny, but not the gym . . . I know this now.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
My tits only tingle for thee, my love
My wang only wags in earnest for you, my dear
I hope Hallmark takes my Valentine's Day card submissions seriously this year!
My wang only wags in earnest for you, my dear
I hope Hallmark takes my Valentine's Day card submissions seriously this year!
February 1, 2026 at 10:48 PM
My tits only tingle for thee, my love
My wang only wags in earnest for you, my dear
I hope Hallmark takes my Valentine's Day card submissions seriously this year!
My wang only wags in earnest for you, my dear
I hope Hallmark takes my Valentine's Day card submissions seriously this year!
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
If you look closely, you can see the Buddha disapproving of my half hearted attempt at an evening yoga session but he thinks my noodle cat jammies are cute, so he'll allow it.
February 2, 2026 at 12:49 AM
If you look closely, you can see the Buddha disapproving of my half hearted attempt at an evening yoga session but he thinks my noodle cat jammies are cute, so he'll allow it.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
Are you there Cthulhu?It's me, Blob.
December 6, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Are you there Cthulhu?It's me, Blob.
According to the 7-Eleven Gods, a girl can get two hot dogs and a Big Gulp for $5.
February 1, 2026 at 8:29 PM
According to the 7-Eleven Gods, a girl can get two hot dogs and a Big Gulp for $5.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
Me: *sells soul*
[later]
Devil: *holding soul up to the light* “That motherf-“
[later]
Devil: *holding soul up to the light* “That motherf-“
January 31, 2026 at 12:37 PM
Me: *sells soul*
[later]
Devil: *holding soul up to the light* “That motherf-“
[later]
Devil: *holding soul up to the light* “That motherf-“
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
to whomever would not let me merge: may you always feel like you’re walking through spiderwebs
January 29, 2026 at 3:51 AM
to whomever would not let me merge: may you always feel like you’re walking through spiderwebs
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
hey guys wearing shorts when it’s freezing to show how “tough” you are - NO ONE CARES
January 31, 2026 at 2:22 AM
hey guys wearing shorts when it’s freezing to show how “tough” you are - NO ONE CARES
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
if you never want a divorce, marry someone who’s as lazy as you
January 12, 2026 at 11:52 PM
if you never want a divorce, marry someone who’s as lazy as you
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
Go to a restaurant and order the world's gone mad, a secret menu item of despair and understanding you would never have at home but trust your public outbursts
January 30, 2026 at 4:59 PM
Go to a restaurant and order the world's gone mad, a secret menu item of despair and understanding you would never have at home but trust your public outbursts
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
This day in history. 1933. The Nazi era began with the appointment of Adolf Hitler as German chancellor. I'm sure the ballroom will be finished in time for the centennial.
January 30, 2026 at 10:06 AM
This day in history. 1933. The Nazi era began with the appointment of Adolf Hitler as German chancellor. I'm sure the ballroom will be finished in time for the centennial.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
I imagine my floaters like little ghosts backstroking their way through vitreous fluid. Such a peaceful, if somewhat distracting, haunting it is.
January 30, 2026 at 5:15 AM
I imagine my floaters like little ghosts backstroking their way through vitreous fluid. Such a peaceful, if somewhat distracting, haunting it is.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
Clumsy if literal:
an eye dropper
an eye dropper
January 30, 2026 at 12:12 PM
Clumsy if literal:
an eye dropper
an eye dropper
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
Every time I wake up, the world is a little worse for wear.
January 30, 2026 at 6:55 PM
Every time I wake up, the world is a little worse for wear.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
Maybe we need to start throwing bad people into active volcanoes to get some of that hope flowing again.
January 30, 2026 at 10:07 PM
Maybe we need to start throwing bad people into active volcanoes to get some of that hope flowing again.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
“Go slash someone’s brake line.”
- me as an anger management counselor
- me as an anger management counselor
January 30, 2026 at 4:05 PM
“Go slash someone’s brake line.”
- me as an anger management counselor
- me as an anger management counselor
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
I hate fighting my kids for the leftover pizza. I mean I always win, but it’s not a great look for a dad and last time it nearly got me barred from the local Pizza Hut.
January 30, 2026 at 3:05 PM
I hate fighting my kids for the leftover pizza. I mean I always win, but it’s not a great look for a dad and last time it nearly got me barred from the local Pizza Hut.
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
My posts are evocative of an earlier, simpler, time. A time of typewriters, and monkeys
January 30, 2026 at 10:34 PM
My posts are evocative of an earlier, simpler, time. A time of typewriters, and monkeys
Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace
Adding the entire dictionary one word at a time to my mute list until I know peace.
January 27, 2026 at 5:38 PM
Adding the entire dictionary one word at a time to my mute list until I know peace.