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Julie Lavender Menace

@2tickytacky.bsky.social

9.5K followers 2.3K following 5.2K posts

🔵Co-pastor: Ravensmenace, LLC 🔵Top 10 blood donor in Pannonica County 🔵Saving souls, one homeless orphan kitten at a time. I'm not Lisa. My name is Julie 🏳️‍⚧️. she/her https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaabsfrnzo2wy

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 6d

Now, a message from Ravensmenace, LLC:

Vodka Shot Bingo 7p to floor! We're going to bottle feed precious orphan kittens. Then we'll demolish that decrepit bowling team from Sunset Hills Nursing Home. God bless.

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Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace

GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 21h

If I live into my 80s, I hope to still laugh and joke like I’m 8.

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 2h

It's better for everyone concerned if you don't ask why tonight's ham is saltier than usual.

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GᵣₐbₜₕₑWₑₙₑₛₛ @ayankdownunder.bsky.social · 2h

*gently weeping*

It's just that we barely talk about Cracker Barrel anymore.

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Kellaweena 🎃 @kellalena.bsky.social · 5h

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, [in my best Karen Carpenter voice] “We’ve only just begun”

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Kellaweena 🎃 @kellalena.bsky.social · 4h

Pun like everything is intended.

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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 4h

don't judge a man 'til you've walked a mile in his shoes all the way to the courthouse where you put on a black robe and get your gavel and tell the bailiff to bring in the next defendant and hear their testimony and make a decision by fairly interpreting and applying the law and

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Betsy Wetsy @betsyross.bsky.social · 4h

cosmic brownie mix tape me to the wall of voodoo child of god is dead sexy

(walking thoughts)

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 5h

☺️ I'll sign five books that you bring for free if you buy my book called "How Not To Write A Book", which is just me trying to write a book.

Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace

Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 8h

If you see an old guy in a flat cap headed to the woods while carrying an axe, a pick, and a shovel, he’s either going to make charcoal or settle a score. Either way, doff your cap

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 6h

I'll do it for if I can write my own inscription in memory of Phyllis Schafly 😈

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 8h

On the third week of the month, I sign any book anyone brings.

Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 8h

😁

Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 10h

I want you to sign my book.

Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 10h

There could be if you want them for $5 extra.

Reposted by Julie Lavender Menace

surdfish @surdfish.bsky.social · Aug 3

At least you have your hell.

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 12h

Yay!

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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 12h

Be sure to come to my book signing! Today, I'll be signing "It", by Stephen King. Next week, I'll be signing the owner's manual to my 2006 Honda.

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Jez @jez1.bsky.social · 7d

Can’t believe it’s already October. Time flies when your life is falling apart

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Jez @jez1.bsky.social · 2d

What’s it like not to be filled with simmering rage? I’ve forgotten

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Betsy Wetsy @betsyross.bsky.social · 3d

25 days until vacation, so I am probably going to die within the next three weeks guys

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WitchyBlob @blobstar.bsky.social · 3d

That joke went over like a cow on a slow weekend night in a small town. This joke went over like a sailboat in a hurricane.

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 3d

You guessed I had to be there in such a convincing way that I knew you weren't guessing and I hereby christen this time machine the I'm Ready To Laugh Now

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Dead Inside™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 3d

Thanks for the dry handjob in the Arby’s parking lot, Geoff.

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 3d

My life is too small and I worry it will get lost in the gap behind the refrigerator.

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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 3d

Muted the word "mastodon" and lost my favorite feed, Euphoniums of the Ice Age Elephant Family. Now I just need Nothing Smaller Than A Tuba to update

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